Conquer video game addiction: Strategies to keep you grounded and healthy

concur video game addiction

When life isn’t going well, we find ways to escape.

One easy escape is video gaming.

A deputy principal recently told me that during COVID-19 lockdown many of his ATAR students developed an addiction to playing massive online multiplayer games. These students had lost all motivation to study.

These addictive games have become a refuge from a world where students feel no sense of purpose and direction. In these unreal worlds, students get to feel a sense of mastery, belonging and control.

The goals are clear.
The world is simplified.
The consequences are suspended.

But as English professor Ryan Van Cleave points out in The Guardian piece At war with War Craft the real world is a little bit messier. He states:

“Playing World of Warcraft makes me feel god like . . . I have ultimate control and can do what I want with few real repercussions. The real world makes me feel impotent . . . a computer malfunction, a sobbing child, a suddenly dead cell phone battery, the littlest hitch in daily living feels profoundly disempowering.”

Let’s not forget the fact we’re living through a pandemic, the sixth mass extinction of species, an unstable climate and an economic recession is biting at our heels.

These are confusing and uncertain times.

Researcher on excessive gaming Dr Olivia Metcalf states video games allow us to feel “outstanding when in real life we are probably average”.

It’s hardly surprising so many students turn to video games in an attempt to perk themselves up a bit.

The problem is playing video games won’t (and can’t) fix low confidence, anxiety, depression, a sense of dread and overwhelm. Why?

Because as Johann Hari (author of Lost Connections) states these games offer a “a parody of connection”. They can’t truly fulfil our deepest need for connection.

Now I get that you might be thinking, “But it’s just a bit of harmless fun!”

Well, not exactly . . .

The problem with modern video games

Multiplayer online games contain design features that make them highly addictive. Along with social media, I’d argue that they are a form of life destroying technology. Here’s why . . .

When you immerse your brain in an environment where you are bombarded with fast paced stimuli, your brain adapts and rewires to this.

Research from Iowa State University found children and teenagers who spend more time playing video games are more likely to experience attention problems.

attention and video game study

Why does this matter?

Because attention is critical to the learning process. If you want to be able to learn deeply and memorise information, you need to be able to pay attention (and sustain your attention).

These games are also a massive time sink.

If the default activity is playing video games and a chunk of your day is spent doing this, what else are you doing?

Not a lot.

If you sense that your brain no longer belongs to you (but is just an extension of the video game), it’s time to get your life back. It’s time to quit video games.

Quitting video games: Why willpower isn’t enough

Telling yourself, “Don’t play video games! Don’t play video games!” won’t work. In fact, research shows this has the opposite effect (i.e. you’re more likely to play video games).

Trying to use willpower on it’s own is like swimming upstream against a really strong current. It’s exhausting. You know at some point (usually after 15 minutes) you’re going to give up. Why? Because willpower is a finite resource. It can only get you so far.

This is why you need to use your limited willpower to establish strategies, systems and rules to help you deal with your gaming addiction.

Jane’s addiction: My addictive personality

Although I’ve never been addicted to video games, I have an addictive personality. I have to be really careful with what I consume, otherwise I can spiral out of control.

I’m the person at the party who stands near the bowl of crisps and can’t stop eating them.

This is why I’ve established rules in my life to not touch or go near certain things (e.g. bowls of crisps). I’ve learnt I can’t do crisps and other processed foods in moderation. I just have to avoid them.

If I do slip up (and sometimes I do), it’s not the end of the world. I don’t give myself a hard time about it. Instead I implement strategies, systems and rules to get back on track.

Strategies, systems and rules to concur video game addiction

Here is a list of simple strategies, systems and rules that you can use reclaim your brain from video game (or any tech related) addiction:

1. Detox for 90 days

90 day detox

Like a smoker, you need to go cold turkey. Uninstall the game. Put away the video game console. Unplug everything. Put it in a box. No more gaming for the next 90 days.

If you’re thinking, “But what about everything in moderation?”

When it comes to addiction, moderation simply doesn’t work.

Imagine you had a friend who was addicted to smoking and they were trying to quit. You wouldn’t say to your friend:

“You can have a couple of cigarettes today but no more for the rest of the week.”

The idea of smoking cigarettes in moderation is insane.

When you’re addicted to any substance one is too many, and a thousand is never enough.

You just have to quit.

The same thing applies with video games. Every time you play a game, your nucleus accumbens lights up (this is the part of your brain that is associated with pleasure, reward and motivation).

If you pump too much dopamine into your nucleus accumbens, what happens is you overload this part of your brain. Subsequently, your brain will adapt by thinning out your dopamine receptors. This means you’ll need to ramp up your gaming to experience the same amount of pleasure. This is how addiction works. This is how things get out of control.

So again, you just have to quit.

Game Quitters recommend that you detox for 90 days.

Ninety days will give your neural circuits a chance to rewire and allow your dopamine receptors to regenerate and start working like they should. You’ll also get a clear sense of what life feels like without video games.

Treat this as an experiment that could potentially change your life for the better.

2. Re-design your environment

Make it inconvenient to play video games. Uninstall Steam. Give your password to someone else (and get them to change it). Delete your gaming account. Unplug everything and get it out of the house. Do whatever it takes to make it difficult to play the game that has become all consuming.

3. Notice what’s going on inside your head

urge surfing

For the first few days of your detox, expect to feel a bit restless, irritable, anxious, angry, sad, lost, etc. Don’t fight or suppress what you’re feeling.

If you feel the urge to play video games (and you will), just notice it and try ‘urge surfing’. Ruth Ostrow describes this strategy in the following way:

“It’s about being mindful, acutely and consciously aware of what exactly is happening when temptations and urges strike. The neuroscience-based premise is that by fully absorbing yourself in what’s occurring, you divert attention from the craving itself and eventually recondition the brain.”

4. Fill your life with good stuff

With no video games to play, there’s going to be a big gapping hole in your life. You need to fill that hole with something. Make it something good.

Ask yourself:

“What could you do with all those hours you typically spend playing video games?”

Game Quitters have a fantastic hobby tool you can use to explore this question.

The possibilities are endless. Use this free time to develop some serious skills.

Make sure you engage in some activities that involve people, nature and/or animals. Here are some ideas:

• Physical movement (yoga, walking, dancing and lifting weights)
• Drawing/sketching different people and places (check out the Addictive Sketcher)
• Learn a musical instrument
• Take an online course (check out free or cheap courses on Udemy)
• Journaling (write out your random thoughts)
• Go for a walk with a friend or your dog
• Start volunteering for an organisation or cause

To make these activities happen, you’ll need to develop a schedule. Get yourself a diary, some post-it notes, and/or a wall calendar. Start planning.

5. Take action with the Tiny Habits approach

It’s one thing to create a plan. It’s another thing to execute that plan. I recommend taking the free online course on cultivating Tiny Habits. It’s a tiny course that runs over 5 days and only requires 3 minutes a day. This course will help you to engage in new, healthy behaviours.

6. Have an accountability buddy

You’ll need someone to keep a close eye on you. Left to your own devices, you run the risk of spiralling out of control.

You need someone in your life who is going to help you to self regulate. Someone who will check in on you and say, “Are you okay?”, “You’ve been staring at the screen for over two hours. Let’s go for a walk” or “What new hobby can you engage in right now?”

Your accountability buddy will be critical in those moments when you feel the urge to play video games. A simple phone call or text can make all the difference. Telling your buddy, “I feel like playing right now” and receiving a little pep talk can help you surf the addictive feeling.

7. Take care of yourself

self care

Expect to experience some withdrawal symptoms when you stop playing video games. You’ll feel a bit itchy and unsettled. You may even feel like you have flu-like symptoms.

In order to feel normal again, you’ll feel like firing up that console. But resist the urge. Just know that these uncomfortable feelings will pass. It just takes time.

In the meantime, go do nice things for yourself. Drink plenty of water. Eat nutritious meals. Take yourself and the dog for a walk. Establish a sleep routine. Have a bath.

Remind yourself that every day that passes without playing video games, you are rewiring your brain and regenerating your dopamine receptors.

8. Don’t beat yourself up

If you do slip up and find yourself playing video games during the 90 day detox, don’t use this as a reason to give up on the whole thing.

Treat it as your brain malfunctioning. It happens. It’s no big deal. Humans can and do slip up.

Say to yourself, “This is a bit of a blip. A bit of a slip up. Tomorrow no more video games”.

Then ask yourself:

What can I learn from this?
What led to giving into my urge to play?
How can I avoid that happening in the future?

Learn the lesson and move on.

9. Establish strict rules for use

establish rules

After you’ve detoxed for 90 days, think carefully about what you do next. Do you really want to return to those games?

Think about what you’ve enjoyed about your life without video games. Think about how far you’ve progressed with your goals over the last 90 days. Think about how you and your brain feels. Is it worth giving all this up?

If you do decide to return to video games you must establish strict rules for use, otherwise your dopamine receptors are going to go into overdrive and you’ll be back at square one.

Here are some examples of rules you could set:

• Only playing on weekends for a strict time period (one hour)
• Only playing games with clear end points (no open ended games)
• Only playing old school adventure games (e.g. Kings Quest and Space Quest)

You may also decide to set a clear rule that you don’t play video games for another 90 days. If you’re still in high school or under the age of 25, I strongly recommend you do this.

To sum up

If you know you should play video games less but struggle to cut back, it’s time to double down and take the 90 day detox. Set yourself up with everything you need to be successful. Your life (and brain) can be so much better without this life destroying technology in it.

Have you ever struggled with a tech related addiction? What helped you to overcome it? I’d love to hear what worked for you.

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My first car was a dilapidated Suzuki Swift.  

But just to be clear – this car wasn’t in bad shape when I first got it. I turned this car into a jalopy through neglect and ignoring basic warning signs.

Whenever I gave my friends a lift in this car, I remember that they always looked visibly uncomfortable. They’d say with a nervous laugh:

“Jane, what’s that strange rattling sound?”

“Why is there a red warning light on your dashboard?”

I wasn’t fussed about the red light or the strange rattling sound.

Somehow, I’d missed the adulting lesson on basic car maintenance.

For many years, I never bothered to get my car serviced. I drove it to the point where it rattled and shook violently, the engine would cut out while driving, and the brakes squealed at a painfully high pitch.

It got to the point where I could no longer ignore these problems, but by then, it was too late. My car was beyond repair and could only be salvaged for scrap metal.

I’m embarrassed to share this, as that’s no way to treat a car that gets you from A to B and uses the Earth’s finite resources. But stay with me because there’s an important point I want to make, and it’s this. . .

The way that I treated my first car is symbolic of how many people treat their bodies, especially when they’re young.

When I was younger, I engaged in several unhealthy lifestyle practices. Whilst I never smoked, took drugs, or consumed alcohol, I ate huge amounts of processed junk food (I didn’t know how to cook).

I also frequently sacrificed sleep to pull all-nighters to complete my assignments (I struggled with procrastination).

My body seemed resilient. It appeared capable of handling the shocks. But over time, I started feeling tired and rundown. Still, I kept pushing myself like my old car. The only time I could rest was when I got sick.

These days, everything’s quite different.

I am physically unable to thrash my body around like an old jalopy.

Something as simple as consuming too much salt or sugar can send my brain spiralling out of control.

I was reminded of this a couple of weeks ago when I visited a friend in hospital. Because I was spending a lot of time at the hospital, my usual routines of grocery shopping and cooking from scratch were disrupted.

But then to make matters worse, I was given $80 worth of vouchers to spend at the hospital cafeteria. I thought, “How bad can hospital cafeteria food be?”.

It turns out really bad.

Cheese kranskys (sausages), heaps of salty hot chips, deep-fried chicken, and soft drinks were the main options at this hospital cafeteria.

Unhealthy food seemed completely normalised in this hospital environment. My jaw dropped when I saw a patient order not just one but five cheese kransky sausages!

In this hospital setting, I also started to eat poorly. It was on my third day of eating hot chips from the hospital cafeteria when I noticed that these chips weren’t doing me any favours. I was feeling off my game.

So I decided enough was enough. I gave the remaining hospital food vouchers to a homeless man who was hanging around the cafeteria, desperate for a feed. It was back to home cooked meals for me!

Who would have thought some hot chips could wreak so much havoc with my brain and body?

This greasy processed hospital food had a ripple effect on the rest of my life. I slept badly, which impacted my ability to run the next morning (my joints hurt). I felt resistance to using my treadmill desk because everything felt much harder than usual. Since I was moving less, I was more distracted.

I know all this might sound a bit dramatic, especially to those of us who enjoy a few hot chips (e.g., my husband). Given my friend was in a hospital bed and couldn’t walk, I am fully aware of how lucky I am to be able to run in the first place (even with sore joints).

The point I’m trying to make is this . . .

I know what it feels like to feel really good, and I value that feeling. When I feel good, everything feels easier.

I also know that small decisions, like eating too many hot chips or staying up late, can add up and take their toll on your mind and body. These tiny decisions can have a big impact on the way you feel.

When I was younger, I could eat whatever I wanted and still feel pretty good. Sometimes I’d feel a bit off, but not in a noticeable way.

As Dr Randy J Paterson states in his book How to Be Miserable in Your Twenties:

“In your twenties, some people can do practically anything to their bodies, experience no immediate physical consequences, and feel emotionally more or less well. Random sleep cycle, sedentary lifestyle, lousy diet, 90 percent of the day staring at screen, binge-drinking, isolation, the works. The body doesn’t completely fall apart, and the mind, while not thrilled, hangs on.

Later on, the effect is more immediate. Live exactly the same way at thirty-five, at forty-five, and things don’t go so well. Take a middle-aged car and drive it aggressively down jolting roads, loaded to the max, old oil clogging the engine, and it’s not going to last long. The baseline mood at forty-with no maintenance, no exercise, no dietary adjustment, no stability, and no social life- is misery. ”

Like a car, the human body requires regular basic maintenance. I see this basic maintenance as a collection of small behaviours that leave me feeling calm, grounded, and focused.

Here are a few things I need to do to keep myself running smoothly:

  • Engage in high-intensity exercise every morning
  • Limit my intake of salt and refined sugar
  • Be in bed by 9.30pm each night
  • Stay off social media and limit my time looking at screens
  • Give myself the right fuel (i.e., eat lots of plants and wholefoods and drink plenty of water)
  • Minimise my consumption of processed foods
  • Connect with friends and family
  • Avoid sitting for long periods of time
  • Go outside and spend time in nature
  • Give myself fun rest breaks
  • Try to do one thing at a time (multitasking scrambles my brain)

 

Every now and then, I’ll abandon these behaviours. I’ll have a day where I eat and do whatever I like. I’ll order takeaway, sit on the couch and binge-watch a series until late at night. I usually pay for it the next day, but it also gives me a better appreciation of these healthy practices and what they do for my body and mind.

It’s all about tuning in and noticing how certain things make you feel. For example, when I was in my mid-20s, I noticed every time I ate deep-fried chicken, I experienced sharp stomach pains.

That was like the red warning light on my car dashboard going off in my body. But instead of ignoring it, I paid close attention. Eventually, I decided it wasn’t worth the pain. So I stopped buying greasy deep-fried chicken and eventually went plant-based, which immediately improved my mental and physical health.

Final thoughts

There’s no doubt that modern life can be hectic and stressful. When you’re rushing from one thing to another, it’s easy to overlook the basics and ignore the warning signs.

I’m not proud of how I treated my first car, but I learnt from the experience. Now I make sure I get my car serviced regularly. This saves me time, money, and stress in the long run.

Similarly, we need to pay attention to the way in which we look after ourselves. By dedicating time, energy, and attention to the small things that make us feel better, our experience of the present moment becomes richer. As longevity researcher Dan Buettner says, “You can add years to your life and life to your years”.

 

Image Credit

Suzuki Swift 1.3 GTi 1990” by RL GNZLZ is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0. (used in image 1)

Scrap yard 22l3” by Snowmanradio at English Wikipedia (Original text: snowmanradio) is licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0. (used in image 2)

KFC Wicked Wings” by avlxyz is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0. (used in image 5)

McMind Mapping

Lately, I’ve been thinking more like an Amish person.

Before adopting any new technology, the Amish will carefully consider how the device or app could impact their values, community, and way of life.

In these times of rapid change, I believe this is a valuable practice for all of us.

I recently received an email from a company that had developed an AI mind-mapping tool.

The email included a special offer. If I blogged about this AI mind mapping tool, I’d receive a year’s free pro-subscription.

Look, I love free stuff. When I see the word ‘free’, something funny happens in my brain.

I come from a thrifty family who hate waste and excessive consumption. For as long as I can remember, we’ve always received free items from others. Old bikes, broken laptops, and fridges (you name it!): we’d take the stuff, fix it, and use it.

As a family friend used to joke, “If it’s too good to throw away, give it to the Genoveses!”

But as I looked at this offer of a free subscription to mind mapping software, the usual rush of dopamine I’d get when I saw the word ‘FREE’ just wasn’t happening.

I felt nervous and uneasy.

I took a closer look at the website. At first glance, the tool looked quite impressive. You could import text, PDFs, images, and books into it, and the tool would automatically generate a mind map for you within seconds.

The website claimed this was a tool “Empowering 100,000+ thinkers”. It said it could save me time. I could generate and seamlessly edit mind maps. All of this sounded good in theory.

So, why was I having such a strong negative reaction to this new AI tool?

I recently finished reading a book called The Extinction of Experience: Reclaiming Our Humanity in a Digital World.

The extinction of experience

In this book, author Christine Rosen argues that we are facing a human crisis caused by Big Tech. The widespread adoption of technologies, such as social media, dating apps, and smartphones, has fundamentally altered the human experience — and not for the better.

Interacting with screens all day long and living in virtual worlds that reward us for sharing our most private thoughts has diminished the human experience and left us feeling disconnected.

Rosen argues we run the risk of developing habits of mind and machine-like behaviours that lead us towards an impoverished experience of the world.

In one part of her book, Rosen discusses the decline of skills like handwriting. She states:

“Like species decline, skills decline gradually.”

This sentence made me stop in my tracks. It stood out to me. Why? Because I have felt some of my skills declining in recent years.

So, when I checked out this AI mind mapping tool, I put my Amish cap on and asked myself the following questions:

  • Could this mind mapping tool diminish my mind mapping experience?
  • What possible consequences could arise from switching from hand-drawn mind maps to digital ones?
  • What could happen if I outsourced my mind mapping to a machine?

 

If I were new to the practice of mind mapping and had only just discovered mind mapping software, things might have been different. I would have had no awareness of what I was missing out on.

But I have been mind mapping by hand, with pen and paper, for over 20 years. I don’t use any fancy apps or software (I never have).

This has been a deliberate choice on my part to preserve and sustain a practice that helps me understand and learn new information in a highly effective way.

I worry that switching from pen and paper to keyboard, mouse, and computer will cause something fundamental to change (and be lost) about my current mind mapping experience and practice.

Before adopting any app or device, you need to get clear on what job you are hiring this piece of technology to do. I use mind mapping to learn and clarify my thinking. Could this mind mapping tool do this for me?

This mind mapping software could produce a mind map for me within seconds. As one student writes in a testimonial on the website:

“I post my own lecture notes to generate a very concentrated mind map for me. I don’t have to spend 3-6 hours writing my own mind maps, which I often can’t do very well.”

Another person leaves a five-star review, “No more messy brainstorming”.

However, all of this completely misses the point of mind mapping.

The process of mind mapping is just as important as the final, often messy, mind map.

When I mind map, I’m not concerned about creating a work of art or saving time (it takes as long as it takes to understand a topic). I want to take my time, settle into the process, and avoid feeling rushed. Mind mapping by hand allows me to do this.

Use your hands to mind map

Creating a mind map on a computer screen quickly and outsourcing the job to AI puts me in a speedy, turbocharged frame of mind, which is not conducive to deep learning.

Mind mapping is a practice that forces me to slow down.

This slowing down is super important because the world around me is sending me signals to speed up and go faster and faster! When I’m in turbocharge mode, I’m more likely to get distracted and feel overwhelmed.

I’m trying to resist this frantic pace because I want to do things thoroughly and at my own speed. Watching a mind map get created within seconds isn’t what I want or need. It shifts me into overdrive mode, which makes it much harder to learn.

Mind mapping by hand also allows me to think deeply about ideas and how they are connected. The only way I can see those connections and understand them is by reading through the information, thinking about how I would convey that information as a picture and in mind map form.

When you outsource the process to mind mapping software, you don’t get the same deep understanding as you would if you took the time to do it yourself by hand. It feels superficial. To me, it feels like the McDonald’s of Mind Mapping: fast, convenient, but ultimately, not particularly nourishing for my brain.

Using mind mapping software also bypasses something else that brings me joy and satisfaction: it feels really nice to work with my hands.

As Rosen says, “We have a human need to see, touch and make things with our hands”.

Making a mind map with your hands may not be quick, easy, or convenient, but it provides a very rewarding experience for your brain and soul. Personally, it makes me feel calm, grounded, and more connected to ideas, myself, and the world.

Experimenting with mind mapping AI tools

I don’t want to be ignorant or closed-minded. This is why I created a free account with this mind mapping AI tool and attempted to generate three mind maps.

The first mind map was on an article I’d read. The mind map focused on just a small section of the article (conspiracy theories). If I hadn’t read the entire article, I would have missed the important science on this topic.

The second mind map was on creating a meal plan for a trip away. Although the mind map provided some ideas, I was left feeling dissatisfied and uninspired. You can see my hand-drawn mind map on a meal plan, which I created for a family trip, compared to the AI-generated one below.

Which mind map do you prefer?

AI meal plan mind map

My meal plan mind map

For the third and final mind map that I tried to create, I entered the following prompt:

“Create a mind map on the book ‘Die with Zero’ by Bill Perkins?”

I encountered this error message:

“System resources have been exhausted. Please try again later.”

System error

Instead of feeling frustrated, I was grateful for this message as it highlighted another problem with using mind mapping software: when the tech goes down or power goes out, you are rendered helpless. It also reminded me of how energy-intensive AI is to run.

I went away and mind mapped this book by hand (I’d just finished reading it and had marked up several ideas). You can see the mind map I created below (it took me approximately 40 minutes to do).

My mind map - Die with zero

I was curious to see if my mind map would resemble the one the mind mapping software generated. So the next day, I entered the same prompt again. Less than 3 seconds later, a mind map appeared on the screen (you can see it here). Was this a mind map on the same brilliant book I’d just read?

It seemed like AI slop.

AI mind map - Die with zero

I felt disconnected from the ideas. The spirit of the book just wasn’t there! I preferred my own mind map.

There is a freedom in mind mapping by hand, away from screens and without AI. The freedom comes not only from using your hands, brain, and creativity, but also from being able to focus on the task at hand.

It’s all too easy to get distracted when working on a computer. That’s why I have set up a dedicated space in my office, away from screens, where I do my mind mapping practice.

To sum up

Mind mapping is a sacred practice for me. Doing it on a computer and outsourcing the process feels abstract and detached. I can see and feel what is being lost from the process.

Some tech enthusiasts may label me a “luddite”, but as Rosen says, “not every new thing is an improvement on the old”.

I say, stick with what works. Let’s not overcomplicate something that is simple but highly effective when it comes to learning. Put aside your fear of creating messy mind maps, step away from the screen, and enjoy the experience of making a mind map by hand.

Tiny habits for healthy living

I used to spend a lot of time on the road driving from school to school.

While I always kept an eye on the amount of petrol in the tank, I also needed to pay close attention to my own personal energy levels.

It was important to avoid pushing myself past empty and depleting my energy reserves because if I did, I would end up feeling emotionally wrecked.

I clearly remember one day when I pushed myself too hard. Looking back, it seems comical now. But I wasn’t laughing at the time.

It was my 24th birthday. I had woken up that morning with great intentions, thinking “It’s my birthday! Let’s make it a great day!”

I was trying too hard to make it a “great day”. I was forcing it, and perhaps that’s partly why everything went pear-shaped.  Here’s what happened . . .

I had a school presentation later that day, so I spent the morning preparing for it before driving over an hour to deliver the presentation.

The time slot for the talk wasn’t ideal—my talk was scheduled for the last period on a Friday afternoon—but I was thinking, “Hey! It’s my birthday. Let’s make it a great day!”

What can I say?

The session didn’t go well.

There were IT issues and the students’ minds were elsewhere. But you couldn’t blame the students. They were tired and I was the only thing standing between them and the weekend.

When I wrapped up the session, I felt tired and hungry.

But I foolishly ignored my body’s needs. On an empty stomach, I began the long drive home. I was desperate to get back and be in my own space.

Within 10 minutes, I found myself stuck in peak-hour traffic. But I wasn’t just stuck in traffic; I was also stuck in an anxiety loop.

Psychologist Risa Williams explains an anxiety loop as “a negative thought cycle that makes you feel stuck in a rut”. You can’t rationalise your way out of an anxiety loop. Logic doesn’t cut it.

I kept thinking about how the talk could have gone better, why my birthday had been such a flop . . . these annoying tunes kept playing over and over in my mind and they kept getting louder and louder.

I was about halfway home when something unexpected happened: I began sobbing uncontrollably behind the wheel of my car. I just felt incredibly sad.

I realised it was dangerous to drive while crying, so I pulled over and called my mum.

My mum and I would chat on the phone most days, but I remember this conversation especially well because my mum didn’t pull any punches.

Here’s how the conversation went:

Mum: What’s wrong Jane? Why are you upset?

Me: It’s my birthday and I wanted to have a great day but I just feel so awful. Everything has gone wrong today. The day has been a total flop.

Mum: Jane, have you had anything to eat?

Me: No.

Mum: You’re hungry! I know what you’re like when you’re hungry. You need to find a place to eat.

Me: But there’s nothing healthy to eat around here . . . there are no healthy options.

Mum: I don’t care. Order something. Anything. You need to eat. Go do that right now!

I found a café that was still open (it was 3:30pm) and ordered a burger from the menu.

When the burger came out 10 minutes later, I felt emotionally wrecked.

But after eating that big, juicy burger, I felt instantly better.

Burger Transformation

A magical transformation had occurred, all thanks to a $15 burger.

The world now felt like a new and different place. I had strength again. With tear-free eyes, a calm mind, and more energy in my system, I got in my car and drove myself home safely.

That experience taught me an important lesson. I learnt I had to stop pushing myself past the point of empty (something I’d done far too often for too many years).

I had to start listening to my body and the signals it was sending me.

Feeling hungry? Have a healthy snack.

Tired? Take a quick nap.

Thirsty? Have a few sips of water.

Sitting for too long and in pain? Get up and move.

Eyes and brain hurting from staring at a screen for too long? Take a break and look out the window.

It also taught me how engaging in small behaviours (tiny habits) can significantly impact how you think and feel.

Here are some of my favourite tiny habits for healthy, calm, and grounded living :
  1. After I wake up, I will put on my gym clothes.
  2. After I put on my gym clothes, I will turn on my treadmill.
  3. After I step on my treadmill, I will move my body for a minimum of 20 minutes.
  4. After I shower, I will warm up my breakfast (overnight oats and berries).
  5. After I finish eating breakfast, I will sit down and do 5 minutes of meditation.
  6. After I finish meditating, I will write down three things I feel grateful for.
  7. When I feel mentally fatigued, I will step away from my work and go outside.
  8. After sitting for 25 minutes, I will walk on my treadmill for 5 minutes.
  9. When I find myself feeling sleepy, I will set a timer for 15 minutes and take a nap.
  10. When I find myself feeling flat, I will hit play on an upbeat song.
  11. After I complete a task, I will have a sip of water.
  12. When I notice I am feeling hungry, I will grab a piece of fruit.
  13. When I get my keys to leave the house, I will put on a n95 mask.
  14. When I see it’s past 8pm, I will plug my phone in to charge in another room and say out loud, “No more screens”.
  15. When I put my head on my pillow, I will pick up my notebook and write down three wins for the day.

 

All of these habits are designed to boost and conserve my energy. That’s the great thing about habits: they conserve your energy by automating your behaviour and combating decision fatigue. As Kevin Kelly states in his book Excellent Advice for Living:

“The purpose of a habit is to remove that action from self-negotiation. You no longer expend energy deciding whether to do it. You just do it.”

Boost your energy

These 15 tiny habits are so deeply ingrained that I do all of them most days. I don’t waste time and energy thinking, “Should I go on the treadmill or stay in bed and read a book?” or “Do I do my gratitude practice or eat breakfast?” I have established a routine of healthy behaviours that work for me.

These tiny habits don’t take long to do, and best of all, they stop me from running out of energy and crashing. I also haven’t been sick in over three years (mainly due to Habit #13: Wearing a n95 mask).

You might be wondering why I’m still wearing a mask when covid restrictions have eased. There are a few reasons: I know several people with long covid (and they are suffering). Their quality of life is not what it once was.

I’ve also read a lot of the research on covid. Research shows covid can cause significant changes in brain structure and function.

This study found that people who had a mild covid infection showed cognitive decline equivalent to a three-point loss in IQ and reinfection resulted in an additional two-point loss in IQ.

Covid and the brain study

Other studies have found covid can disrupt the blood brain barrier and cause inflammation of the brain. Since I rely on my brain to do everything, wearing a n95 mask (not a cloth or surgical mask) is a simple and effective habit I’m happy to keep up to protect my brain and body.

At the end of the day, cultivating healthy habits is about noticing the little (and big) things that make a difference and then experimenting with those things.

For example, Habit #3 (Moving on a treadmill first thing every morning) came about when I noticed the dramatic difference in how I felt on the days I ran on the treadmill compared to the days I didn’t (I felt mildly depressed on the days when I didn’t go for a run).

Habit #4 emerged after I noticed that eating a particular breakfast (overnight oats with berries) made me feel amazingly good compared to having a smoothie or a bowl of processed cereal for breakfast (which would spike my blood sugar levels).

Here’s how I see things . . .

Your health influences everything in life—and I mean absolutely everything. It influences how you interact with the people in your life, how well you learn and focus, your energy levels, and how you do your work.

As Robin Sharma explains in his book The Wealth Money Can’t Buy, health is a form of wealth.

The wealth money can't buy

Sharma writes:

“If you don’t feel good physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, all the money, possessions and fame in the world mean nothing. Lose your wellness (which I pray you never will) and I promise you that you’ll spend the rest of your days trying to get it back.”

One way you can build your wealth is by cultivating tiny healthy habits.

Final Thoughts

As I think back to my younger self, 24 years old and ignoring the warning signs my body was sending me, I can’t help but feel a bit embarrassed. But as Kevin Kelly says, “If you are not embarrassed by your past self, you have probably not grown up”.

I’ve grown up a lot. I’ve come to realise developing awareness and taking time out to step back and reflect are critical to living a healthy, grounded life. When you notice what makes you feel good and not so good, you can make tiny tweaks to improve your life.

If you aim to do more of the things that leave you feeling good and less of the things that leave you feeling depleted and fatigued, you can’t really go wrong.

In the words of Psychologist Dr Faith Harper, “Keeping our brains healthy and holding centre is a radical act of self-care”.

On that note, take a moment to check in with your body. What does it need right now? Could you do something small to treat your body and mind with a little more care? Step away from the screen and do it now.