Eliminate time confetti from your life.
In her brilliant book Time Smart researcher Dr Ashley Whillans describes time confetti as the little bits of seconds and minutes that are lost to unproductive multitasking (e.g. texting and checking social media). She says:
“Each bit alone seems not very bad. Collectively, though all that confetti adds up.”
This reminded me of something I had seen on social media earlier in the year. A pregnant woman at my gym had shared a video of her baby’s gender reveal party. If you’re not familiar with these celebrations, they are designed to ‘reveal’ the baby’s sex to the expected parents’ family and friends.
This party was being held in a local park close to where I live. It involved the couple popping a massive balloon that was filled with thousands of bits of confetti, glitter and mini balloons. The balloon was popped and the couple kissed as blue plastic confetti and glitter were scattered all over the park and mini blue balloons released into the atmosphere.
It was Instagram perfect. But something really bugged me about the whole thing.
My first thought wasn’t “It’s a boy!” but rather “Are they going to clean that mess up?”
This mum and dad-to-be had just polluted the environment for their unborn child.
Now at this point you may be thinking . . .
“Stop being such a party pooper Jane! It’s just one party! What’s all the fuss about?”
But please, stay with me . . .
Consider the environmental impact of thousands of gender reveal parties being held all over the world. Every. Single. Day.
That plastic rubbish adds up.
This is why we have oceans full of plastic and seabirds’ stomachs bulging full of the stuff.
Where’s the thought for other creatures and future generations?
Put simply, there is no thought. It’s mindless behaviour.
And time confetti works like this, too.
We’re having fun now (by checking our phones and distracting ourselves with novelty and instant gratification). It seems harmless, right? A few seconds and minutes spent checking our phones here and there . . . but it adds up. We don’t realise that we’re actually hurting our future selves.
Long-term, we pay a high price. Just like confetti and glitter pollutes the natural environment, with time confetti we’re polluting our mental environment and messing with our well-being.
Firstly, time confetti shred up your leisure time. It shatters your leisure time into lots of small pieces.
Time confetti makes your leisure time less enjoyable.
Here’s a simple example to illustrate this . . .
Let’s say you’re relaxing at the beach and you check your phone. You see a new email about a project/assignment that’s due in a few days. How are you feeling now? Are you still feeling relaxed? No, of course not. You’re feeling slightly stressed about the looming deadline.
You’re no longer enjoying the beach. That email has just catapulted you right out of the present moment.
As Dr Whillans states:
“We used to enjoy the gym. Now we one-handedly type out a reply to the boss while trying not to fall off the treadmill. We used to have uninterrupted family dinners. Now we have hushed phone calls over cold meals. We used to have relaxing picnics. Now we have phone meetings in “private” park-side bathroom stalls. We carry the office in our back pockets, making it difficult to disconnect.”
Oh, how I could relate to this!
A few weeks ago, I was at the gym doing stretches at the end of my workout. For some reason, I started texting my husband about something I’d heard on the radio.
Usually, at the end of a workout I feel clear minded, grounded and refreshed. But not this time. I felt scattered and frenzied. I can now see how my jumbled mental state was a result of time confetti.
Why? Because you’re multitasking.
There I was at the gym rapidly switching between holding a stretch and sending a text and then doing another stretch and sending a text . . . my mind wasn’t focused on the job of just holding the simple stretch.
As neuroscientist Daniel Levitin states in his book The Organized Mind: Thinking Straight in the Age of Information Overload:
“. . . the kind of rapid, continual shifting we do with multitasking causes the brain to burn through fuel so quickly that we feel exhausted and disoriented after even a short time. We’ve literally depleted the nutrients in our brain. This leads to compromises in both cognitive and physical performance.”
Start to notice when you’re creating time confetti. Track your time confetti – every time you get distracted make a note of it (it could be a tick on a card). Building self awareness around time confetti is the first step towards making positive change.
Then you want to go about dealing with distractions that hijack your brain and create time confetti (especially digital distractions). For ideas on how to do this, check out my blog posts on creating a focus force field and Digital Minimalism.
It also helps to deliberately slow down. We live in a culture that is addicted to fast paced living. Our addiction to technology and constant checking only makes this worse. Nancy Colier notes in her book The Power of Off:
“We are now accustomed to ongoing stimulation and feel anxious and lacking without it. There is a continual sense that we should be doing something, which then causes us to grab our smart phones to seek some relief from that anxiety.”
I have found it makes a massive difference to build practices into my life that force me to slow right down. Yin yoga works a treat. This is a gentle yoga practice where you hold each pose for several minutes.
This practice is teaching me how to slow down and live life at different speeds (note: for many years I lived life at one speed and that was full speed – Go! Go! Go!).
Since starting yin yoga, I have noticed that when I slow down a little and take my time doing things, I am in a better position to pause and think:
“Do I really want or need to check my email right now? Do I want to create time confetti and all the problems that come with it?”
I can experience the urge to want to click and check my email, but the pause helps me to think twice and reconsider my actions.
But perhaps the simplest way to deal with time confetti is to do this . . .
That’s right. Delete them. Go cold turkey on the lot.
That’s what I recently did. This resulted in a dramatic reduction in time confetti. My days now feel a lot longer. My brain feels calmer, too (you can read more about why I deleted my social media accounts here).
Think about it . . .
If social media is not in your life, how can it interfere with your leisure time and attention?
It can’t. Simple. Problem solved.
But I realise, this may seem extreme and not practical for your life circumstances. If that’s the case, I get it.
I recently met a young artist who had made the decision to get rid of her mobile phone for good. She invested in a landline, watch, digital camera and map book for her car. I thought, “Woah! That’s next level . . . no way could I do that. I don’t want to do that!” But when she tells me she feels happier, more productive and has less time confetti in her life, I believe her.
You need to do what’s right for you. But just like time confetti accumulates, adopting tiny actions that lead to states of calm and being more present is also going to add up over time. So start with whatever is easiest for you to do and take it from there.
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When you feel slightly bored, do you feel a reflexive, gravitational pull to check your phone?
If you spend hours each day clicking, scrolling, and posting, I want you to know that it’s not your fault.
It’s not that your weak willed, lacking discipline, or a lazy person.
It’s none of these things.
It’s no mystery or secret why so many people waste so much time on social media. Like a poker machine, these platforms are designed to be highly addictive.
Apps like TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, SnapChat, X (formerly Twitter) and YouTube contain persuasive design features that hijack your most valuable and precious resources: your time, energy, and attention.
Because the more time we spend on their apps, the more data they can extract and sell for social influence.
The business model of Big Tech companies is simple: Keep people glued to their platforms for as many hours a day as possible.
In other words, your time and attention equal massive profits for these companies.
In his excellent book The Anxious Generation, social psychologist Dr Jonathan Haidt presents data showing teens aged 13-18 spend an average of six to eight hours every day on social media apps. That’s close to 50 hours a week.
Dr Haidt notes that this is just the time spent on the app. It doesn’t factor in the time spent thinking about social media while they multitask in the real world.
So, that’s 50+ hours that could have been spent outside in nature, learning a language, working a part-time (or full-time) job, making art, cooking, exercising, getting more sleep, and hanging out with friends.
Let’s also not forget that these apps intervere with and harm our wellbeing and ability to think and learn.
The multi-tasking that takes place as we engage with these apps throughout the day drains our brainpower, weakens our memory, and makes us tense and anxious.
The social comparisons we engage in on these platforms also warps our perception of reality and leaves us feeling like we’re not enough.
So, here’s something to consider . . .
It’s possible, and I’m going to show you how.
I recently discovered a simple tool that helps people stop mindlessly consuming social media and other addictive apps.
It’s an app called one sec.
one sec is a self-nudging tool that helps you to create barriers to Big Tech that align with your goals and values.
As you open up an addictive app, one sec intervenes by creating a 10-second delay in opening the app.
one sec creates the little bit of friction needed to make you pause and reconsider your behaviour.
After the delay, one sec presents you with a choice: Do you want to proceed with opening up the target app (e.g., TikTok)? Or close the app and do something else?
The creators of one sec explain it works by utilising three intervention strategies:
It’s important to highlight that you’re in control of the whole experience. You specify what apps you want one sec to target. You can also modify the time delay (making it shorter or longer) and change the deliberate messaging.
Or is it just another gimmicky product that fails to change your behaviour in a significant way?
I’ve been experimenting with this app for the last month, and I’m pleased to say it’s working for me!
Even though I don’t have social media and the wicked algorithms that come with them, I recently noticed that I was spending far too much time in group chats.
one sec has helped me be more intentional and deliberate with how I engage with these chat groups.
Instead of mindlessly checking these apps whenever I have time to kill, I now have dedicated periods when I engage with them. I’m following Dr Faye Begeti’s advice when she recommends in her book The Phone Fix to “Set a finite number of times for checking social media, condensing a large number of short checks into defined, longer ones.”
This is what one sec has helped me to do, and as a result, my focus and well-being have improved. I feel calmer. My days feel longer and less frenetic.
But I realise I’m a sample size of one. Plus, I’m highly motivated to reduce my time on addictive apps.
The short answer is yes.
This research study found the app one sec helped people to significantly decrease their social media consumption.
In this study, 280 participants used the one sec app for a six-week period. Here’s what the researchers found:
36% of the time participants attempted to open a target app, they chose to close the app using one sec (i.e., they did not proceed with using the target app).
Over time, participants also opened the target apps less.
Opening problematic apps less or choosing to close problematic apps before engaging with them is actually a really big deal. Here’s why . . .
Less engagement with these addictive apps means less hits of dopamine.
Every quick and easy hit of dopamine you get from social media leads you to crave more stimulation from these apps. Before you know it, you’re in a full blown dopamine driven feedback loop.
Whenever I’m stuck in a dopamine loop, I’m not #livingmybestlife. Far from it! I feel overstimulated, chaotic, and jittery. Here’s why . . .
In his book How to Calm Your Mind, Chris Bailey explains that the brain networks for dopamine and calm are anti-correlated.
What does this mean?
It means when the dopamine network is activated, the calm network isn’t.
Imagine every time you mindlessly reach for your phone to check social media, you’re moving further and further away from a state of calm.
This may explain why participants in the one sec study reported experiencing increased satisfaction and happiness after decreasing their consumption of problematic apps.
The main intervention features (i.e., the time delay and option to not proceed with the target app) will help you decrease your consumption of addictive apps.
But there are many other features available with this app.
As you explore the additional features, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. There’s a lot of extra bells and whistles. For example, there is the “Don’t get lost” notifications (i.e., scheduled reminders to close the target app when you are using it) and website blocking.
But like a lot of things in life, more features don’t necessarily result in a better user experience.
Ultimately, I decided to follow BJ Fogg’s behaviour design principle of ‘Simplicity changes behaviour’. I stuck with using just the basic features of this app.
I knew if I overcomplicated the app, I probably wouldn’t use it.
All that being said, there were two additional features I incorporated:
I use the strict block feature every day. To be clear, the strict block feature is not to be confused with the basic block feature. What’s the difference?
If you select a basic block, you’re not really blocking yourself from the app. But there’s a barrier in place. If you try to open the target app, it brings up the following message:
“Be honest with yourself. Do you really want to stop this block?”
Whereas a strict block is a genuine bona fide block. You cannot use your target apps until the block is over.
If you have developed a mindless habit of reaching for your phone and checking certain apps, you need a strict block in place until your brain has had a chance to recalibrate itself.
Here is the tiny habit I created to give my brain a chance to rewire to lower hit of dopamine from my smartphone:
After I pick up my phone in the morning, I will open one sec and press strict block for six hours.
Activating a strict block means I’m in charge for the first six hours of my day (and the addictive apps are not running the show). This sets the tone for the day and puts me in proactive mode rather than chasing quick hits of dopamine. It also helps me stay calm and grounded.
A word of warning:
Even when you feel like you have regained control over your target apps, you must remain vigilant. It’s super easy to get drawn back into a dopamine-driven feedback loop.
The journal prompt is simple and effective. Before accessing the target apps, I am prompted to write about what I have done and what I feel grateful for.
I write 25 words before proceeding to the target app. This gives me a moment to reflect, which is always a worthwhile practice.
There is a free version of one sec you can use, but it limits you to applying one sec to only one target app.
If you have multiple addictive apps on your phone (as most of us do), I recommend the paid version to unlock all the features.
It costs $25AUD for the year, which is value for money if you ask me. The app has already paid for itself in terms of the time, energy, and attention I’ve reclaimed.
I should mention that I had trouble initially installing one sec and getting it to work on the target apps. The process was a little finicky, and I nearly gave up after 20 minutes of trying to figure out how to get the app to work.
You can find similar intervention apps that are free and easier to install, such as ScreenZen. ScreenZen appears to be based on similar mechanisms (i.e., introducing a time delay and friction to the target app).
My brother recently started using ScreenZen to help combat his mindless habit of scrolling through social media. When I asked for his thoughts on this self-nudging app, he said, “It’s annoying.” But then he quickly added, “But that’s the point. It’s annoying, and that’s why you use the apps less.”
Another great feature of ScreenZen is that after spending seven minutes on the target app, it puts a stopping mechanism in place by prompting you to think about if you want to keep using the app.
I don’t think anyone consciously sets a goal to spend 20, 30, or 50+ hours a week on social media. But if you don’t have strategies to combat the addictive apps on your phone, one thing is certain: Big Tech companies will hijack your time, energy, and attention.
As Michael Harris states in his book The End of Absence:
“Never forget that you live in an ecosystem designed to disrupt you, and it will take you for a ride if you let it.”
So, don’t be taken for a ride. You can easily access self-nudging tools, such as one sec and ScreenZen, to help you defend your time, energy, and attention.
Think of the things you’ve always wanted to do but tell yourself, “I don’t have the time. I’m too busy”. What if you could reclaim a significant chunk of time to do those things today? Would it be worth taking a chance on a self-nudging app?
You’ve got nothing to lose except potentially $25.
I encourage you to test out one of these apps to protect your most precious resources (i.e., your time, energy, and attention).
Note: In case you’re wondering, I have not been paid or sponsored by one sec to write this article.
If I’m honest with myself, there was a time when technology was doing me more harm than good.
On Facebook, I frequently fell into the comparison trap (comparing myself to people who had posted delicious dinners, amazing holiday photos, etc).
On Twitter, I’d get baited by trolls (and I’d foolishly take the bait).
Throughout the day, I’d constantly check my phone and email, which left me feeling jittery and chaotic.
Big Tech was constantly hijacking my time, energy, and attention. Every time I retreated to my devices for a quick shot of dopamine, I moved further away from my goals. I didn’t like this, and I knew something needed to change.
Over the past three years, I’ve implemented many practices to regain control of my time, energy, and attention (including deleting all social media).
These practices have made a big difference in my life. But I’m well aware that not everyone feels the same way I do about Big Tech, nor are they in a position to be able to delete all their accounts.
Following a school presentation, I spoke with a small group of year 8 students. I shared with them that I didn’t use any social media, to which a year 8 girl quickly chimed in:
“My grandma has Facebook. What’s your excuse?”
Her words struck me like a bolt of lightning. I didn’t know what to say.
It highlighted how adopting these apps is the norm for a young person.
When everyone else has a smartphone and is using social media (including your parents and grandparents), why would you question using them?
I couldn’t forget the year 8 girl’s words. While I appreciated her candidness, it left me slightly disturbed.
At the same time, it increased my motivation to resist Big Tech. I started searching for role models: people actively resisting Big tech and this hyperconnected, fast-paced way of life.
One community kept popping up in my research: the Amish.
The Amish are often portrayed as being technologically impaired. A classic example is Weird Al Yankovic’s music video Amish Paradise (a parody of Coolio’s mega-hit Gangsta’s Paradise).
In this video, Weird Al sings:
I never wear buttons but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I really look good in black, fool
If you come to visit, you’ll be bored to tears
We haven’t even paid the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain’t really quaint, so please don’t point and stare
We’re just technologically impairedThere’s no phone, no lights, no motorcar
Not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe
It’s as primitive as can be
While the Amish still mainly travel by horse and buggy and shun many modern technologies, such as televisions, radios, and cars, they are not ‘technologically impaired’ as Weird Al makes out.
When it comes to cultivating healthy digital habits, there is a lot we can learn from the Amish.
The Amish have a set of strategies that guide the adoption and use of different technologies. These strategies have allowed them to avoid being pawns for the goals of Big Tech companies, which make massive profits by seizing people’s attention.
I recently read a fascinating book called Virtually Amish, written by Dr Lindsay Ems. For her PhD research, Dr Ems spoke to Amish people about their relationship to modern technology (e.g., smartphones).
She argues that the Amish take control of their tech tools and thrive. Through adopting similar practices, we can thrive, too.
Below, I share how you can thrive by emulating Amish practices and beliefs around technology:
The Amish are not technophobes. They are ‘technoloselectives’.
They carefully consider the tech tools they’ll adopt and their functionality, tweaking them to help them achieve their goals.
The Amish don’t mindlessly purchase the latest gadgets and gizmos. Instead, they think about their values and goals and how the technology could cause unintended harm to themselves and the wider Amish community.
What are your goals?
Do your tech tools help you achieve them, or do they distract you from them?
The Amish are guided by their values (i.e., the things that are most important to them). Their values underpin everything they do.
So, what exactly do Amish people value?
• Community
• Connections with others
• Living a simple and slow-paced life
• Living a spiritually rich life
• Being self-sufficient
The Amish use these values to guide their adoption of technology.
An example of this can be seen with the arrival of the home telephone (not smartphone). Dr Ems shares how the Amish decided to ban the telephone from being inside the family home.
This ban came about after careful consideration and reflection on their values. The Amish value connections with family, friends, and the community. They don’t want to be the kind of person who interrupts a conversation by answering a telephone call. For this reason, telephones are located outside Amish family homes or nearby.
What are the things that are most important to you?
How does technology impact on those things?
Does it enrich those things or diminish them?
The Amish understand that technology can cause harm. Subsequently, they intentionally delay adopting new technology until they see its impact on others.
Does it destroy family life? Does it wreak havoc on their ability to pay attention and distract them from their spiritual life?
If so, the technology threatens their culture and religion, and for these reasons, it should be avoided.
Before adopting a piece of technology, the Amish need to be clear about two things:
1) The functionality of the technology (what it can do)
2) The potential social impacts of the technology
Once they deeply understand these things, it is then decided whether the technology is adopted or not.
It may come as no surprise that Amish people view the smartphone as an incredibly dangerous innovation. Many Amish communities have bans on this device.
How do you feel after spending time on social media?
Have you seen things posted on social media that weren’t true or were exaggerated?
When an Amish person wants to use a new technology, that technology will go through a formal decision-making process.
The community (in particular, the leaders) will consider the future with this technology. They’ll try to imagine how the technology could change their way of life.
Questions the Amish reflect on include:
• What are the advantages and disadvantages of the technology?
• What might come with it that we might not anticipate?
• Could someone get addicted to it?
• Is it a need or a want?
• Can the technology be restrained?
In her book Virtually Amish, Dr Ems provides the example of an Amish business owner asking the community leaders if he could have permission to use a label maker for his business.
After careful consideration, the leaders ruled label makers could be allowed for the following reasons:
• They are not addictive
• They can’t be used for recreational purposes (e.g., playing games or entertainment)
Think of a new technology (device or app) you want to adopt. Could it become addictive?
Many Amish people believe the issue is not whether you use a smartphone or social media but how you use it. It’s important that the Amish remain in control of their use of tech and place limits on it.
It’s also important that the technology is not visible (i.e., you don’t pull your smartphone out in Church or during a conversation). Being discrete in the way one uses technology shows respect for Amish values.
How do you use the tech in your life?
Are you in control of your use?
Amish people think about not just how they use the technology but what kind of person they become when they use it.
This point resonated with me deeply. I can’t say I’ve always liked who I become when I use certain technology.
A few years ago, I babysat my friends’ children when my friends went out for a kid-free meal. I look back and cringe when I think about how the experience unfolded.
Before going to my friend’s place to start babysitting, I got into a heated text discussion with some people in a group chat. Things were said that upset me.
For most of the night, I was on my phone, texting back and forth, not present with these young children. At one point, the little boy tugged on my arm to get my attention. “Aunty Jane, come play!” he said.
What can I say? I felt terrible. This certainly was not my finest moment. I had become the kind of caregiver I am usually quick to judge: distracted and disengaged.
I vowed to avoid trying to resolve issues by text and leave my phone at home next time to be fully present with the kids.
When you use social media, what sort of person do you become?
The Amish take modern tech tools and modify them to help them achieve their goals.
The plain mobile phone is an example of this. Amish people have created a mobile phone that can only make calls. It doesn’t have a camera, games, access to the Internet, or the ability to send text messages.
Similarly, the plain computer allows Amish to make spreadsheets, do word processing, and construct simple drawings. This allows them to complete tasks without being distracted by other things.
In other words, the Amish create what David Kadavy (author of Mind Management, Not Time Management) would refer to as sticky tools. A sticky tool allows you to stay focused on a task without getting distracted.
What sticky tools could you consider adopting (e.g., a basic flip phone and Internet blocker app)?
The Amish take pride in growing their own food, raising barns, baking their own bread, tinkering with robotics, inventing, and making their own clothes. They are not big consumers, but they embrace a simple lifestyle and encourage human creativity.
In the modern non-Amish world, many of us are doing the polar opposite of this. We have fallen into the trap of consuming content mindlessly online (e.g., watching people bake bread instead of baking our own bread).
Don’t get me wrong—the Internet is an excellent learning tool to help us build our skills. I have turned to YouTube for many instructional videos on how to make and fix things. But doing this requires discipline because it is all too easy to get derailed by other distracting videos.
The bottom line is this: the more time we spend online, the more ads we are likely exposed to and the more our consumptive desires are stirred up. Is it any wonder so many people feel so dissatisfied with their lives?
Instead of mindlessly consuming, what can you create today?
The Amish embrace tech with inbuilt friction. In fact, inconvenience is considered a virtue.
Dr Ems shares that many Amish technologies intentionally contain ‘speed bumps’ and ‘friction’. The reason for this friction is to prevent Amish people from wasting time on the device.
I’ve found this is one of the positives associated with using a ‘basic phone’.
Last year, I experimented with using a basic flip phone with limited functionality (I could only make calls and send texts). Texting on this phone was so painfully slow that it made me want to avoid getting into long text discussions with people. It was easier to pick up the phone and call people.
Using a smartphone to text your friends may be easier than making a phone call, but as the Amish strongly believe, easier is not always better.
How can you build friction into your tech use?
Can you embrace analog alternatives to decrease your screen time?
How much control do you have over your time, energy, and attention? As Chris Bailey writes in his book How to Calm Your Mind, “On the Internet, our intentions very quickly slip from our grasp.”
If you want to thrive online and offline, consider adopting some of the tech habits of the Amish. By limiting their tech use, the Amish have been able to remain mentally free and protect their way of life.
If more of us adopted Amish tech practices (e.g., being intentional with our tech use and placing limits on it), we’d most likely feel calmer and less anxious. We’d also spend more time engaged in activities that bring us joy and are aligned with what we value.
This is what my life used to feel like.
I was always in a rush.
Always cutting it fine.
Often running late.
I was late for class.
Late for dinner at friends’ houses.
Late for meetings.
In my world, being late was the norm. It was perfectly acceptable to drag your feet and rock up an hour late to an event.
So, I had to learn the hard way.
One morning, I was running late for school. I rocked up to form room three minutes late, and I knew straight away I was in trouble.
My form room teacher said:
“Jane, go to student services to get a late note. You’ve been late too many times. It’s not good enough”.
When you were told to go to student services, this was bad news. You were being told to do the walk of shame.
I pleaded with her:
“Please, no! Come on! It was my dad’s fault. He was late in driving me to school. My dad is always running late”.
My form room teacher wasn’t buying my excuses.
To this day, I can still remember that walk to student services. I felt frustrated and stressed out of my mind.
It wasn’t fun being late all the time. I wanted to be on time and feel less rushed and more in control. But I had no idea how to break this bad habit.
One thing was clear to me: people weren’t happy when I was late. People would get annoyed. Passive aggressive vibes were always coming my way.
Fast forward 20 years: I’m no longer someone who is always running late and rushing around. I’m certainly not perfect, but I can say I’ve come a long way.
From my experience, I can tell you it’s exhausting being someone who is always running late for things. When you live like this, you add so much unnecessary stress, drama, and anxiety to your day.
Your days take on a frenetic feel as you rush from one thing to the next.
But there’s also a larger cost to society.
This is what the famous Good Samaritan study examined. It looked at how being rushed and time pressured impacted people’s behaviour and thought processes.
In this fascinating study, researchers conducted a psychological experiment with a group of theology students who were training to be church ministers. This was one of those psychological experiments where participants were deceived (they were told the researchers were studying one thing when they were studying something else). Here’s what happened . . .
The participants were told they were participating in a study on jobs for theology students and were asked to fill in some questionnaires (this was the bogus part of the experiment).
The real experiment took part in the next phase . . .
After the questionnaires were filled in, the participants were told they had to deliver a presentation in another university building, which was a short walk away. The students were instructed they would need to tell the story of the Good Samaritan (a story about a Samaritan who helps a stranger who has been robbed, beaten up by bandits and left half dead).
They were handed a map and provided instructions on how to get to the building, which involved passing through a dim, dingy, and drab alley.
Students were placed in one of three groups:
• High-hurry group
• Intermediate-hurry group
• Low-hurry group
After they were handed the map, the students in the high-hurry condition were told:
“Oh, you’re late. They were expecting you a few minutes ago. We’d better get moving. The assistant should be waiting for you, so you’d better hurry. It shouldn’t take but just a minute.”
Students in the intermediate-hurry group were told:
“The assistant is ready for you, so please go right over.”
Students in the low-hurry group were told:
“It’ll be a few minutes before they’re ready for you, but you might as well head on over. If you have to wait over there, it shouldn’t be long.”
While the participants walked to the building where they’d be delivering the Good Samaritan story, they encountered a slumped victim in the alley. This victim was a plant by the researchers.
The victim was an actor who was pretending to be someone in need of help. The actor wore shabby clothes and was slumped in the doorway with his head down and eyes closed. He wasn’t moving.
All the students encountered this actor. As the students walked past, the actor coughed twice and groaned (you couldn’t miss him!).
The participants didn’t know that their behaviour was under surveillance. The researchers observed how the students in each group responded to the actor. Did the participants help the man slumped in the doorway? And if so, how did they help?
Here’s what they found . . .
Low-hurry group: 63% offered help
Intermediate-hurry group: 45% offered help
High-hurry group: 10% offered help
The researchers concluded:
“A person not in a hurry may stop and offer help to a person in distress. A person in a hurry is likely to keep going. Ironically, he is likely to keep going even if he is hurrying to speak on the parable of the Good Samaritan, thus inadvertently confirming the point of the parable. (Indeed, on several occasions, a seminary student going to give his talk on the parable of the Good Samaritan literally stepped over the victim as he hurried on his way!).”
As an aside, after the experiment, the participants took part in a debriefing session where they were told what the research was actually about. The researchers made it clear that they were studying the social forces (i.e. the conditions) a person finds themselves in, and they were not passing judgment on the students’ behaviour.
In life, we can’t always control the conditions we find ourselves in (e.g., a workplace that imposes a ridiculous workload on staff). But some things are often within our control that we can do something about to be less rushed and time pressured.
Doing these things can help us to feel more present, have greater awareness of our surroundings, feel calmer and less stressed, and experience more control of our time.
I’m going to share with you some habits, ideas, and practices you can implement to help you in this area. I’ll start with the simplest habits before progressing to the deeper, more complex practices.
One of the best tools you can buy is a basic watch (preferably one that doesn’t have fancy features like the ability to receive calls or texts).
My advice is to wear a watch and look at it regularly.
A lot of people use their phones to check the time, but this can be a time trap (I find my phone way too distracting).
You may look at your phone to check the time but find yourself checking social media while you’re at it. Without any stopping mechanisms in place, you can get sucked in and thrown completely off course.
Tiny Habit:When I wake up in the morning, I will put on my watch.
When I get distracted, I will check my watch and schedule and ask “What do I need to be doing right now?”
The modern world is a distracting place. Even without access to your phone, it’s easy to get derailed. Along with checking your watch regularly, check your timetable/planner/to-do list. Ask the following questions:
• What do I need to be doing right now?
• Am I doing what I need to be doing?
• Is this the best use of my precious time and energy?
Tiny Habit:When I notice I am wasting time, I will look at my to-do list.
A prompt is a reminder. It’s anything that triggers you to move from one task or place to another.
When I need to be somewhere by a certain time, I set my alarm for when I need to leave the house. When I hear the alarm, I grab my bag and take off. No excuses.
You should have a rough idea of how long it takes to get to school or work. Set your alarm for when you need to leave. When you hear your alarm, get moving.
Tiny Habit:
When I hear my alarm, I will pick up my bag and go.
It’s tempting to cram in a few more tasks before you leave for work or school (e.g., sending one more text or watching one more short video). But ask yourself, “Do I have time to do this?”
The answer is most likely no.
Tiny Habit:When I feel tempted to do another task, I will ask “Do I have time to do this?”
When I was a kid, there was no Internet and no smartphones. But we had morning cartoons on the TV.
These cartoons were fun to watch and could easily capture your attention. But you still had some awareness of the time because the time was always displayed in the corner of the screen.
The major problem with most social media apps is they don’t contain clear time cues. This is a deliberate design decision. They want you to lose track of time. Thirty minutes online can feel like three minutes.
The solution is to stay offline in the mornings. If you must go online, have a strict log-off time. I recommend setting an electronic timer for a set time or using an Internet Blocker app to kick you off.
I use an Internet blocker app called Freedom. This app cost me a bit of money but there’s a free alternative called Cold Turkey.
Tiny Habit:
When I feel the urge to go on social media in the morning, I will set a timer for 5 minutes.
Are you feeling time pressured and running late because you’re trying to do way too much?
Our modern culture encourages us to do more, be more, have more, sleep less, etc. It’s not healthy or sustainable.
If this is the case for you (i.e. you’re overcommitted), I realise it may not be your fault. Maybe your boss or teachers have unrealistic expectations about what you can accomplish in a day.
All that being said, your packed schedule may also be due to your inability to say no. Perhaps you feel like you need to say yes to every opportunity that comes your way to build an impressive resume and stand out from the crowd. If so, I get it (I’ve been there).
The major problem with doing too much is it leaves you feeling exhausted. You’re not able to fully engage in the task. As you do the activity, you’re worrying about the next thing you need to do.
If you’re doing a bunch of stuff and not enjoying it, perhaps it’s time to cut back on a few activities.
When you commit to doing less stuff (but more meaningful activities that align with your values), you can do that stuff better. You can also extract a lot more joy from the process.
Tiny Habit:
When I am presented with a new opportunity, I will ask “Is this important to me? Is it something I want to be doing with my time?”
In the book Excellent Advice for Living: Wisdom I Wish I’d Known Earlier, Kevin Kelly states:
“You don’t need more time because you already have all the time you will ever get; you need more focus”.
If you find yourself getting distracted by social media apps and YouTube, it’s time to double down on developing your focus muscles.
You can develop your focus muscles by adopting several different habits that relate to the food you put in your mouth, incorporating regular movement and rest breaks into your day, and creating a focus-friendly environment.
This is an area I’ve been working on for a while. What I’ve noticed is when I focus my mind on one task at a time, I can get twice as much done in the time I have available. But I also find that I enjoy the process a lot more, too.
Tiny Habits:
After I stand on my office mat, I will put away three objects on my desk (removing visual clutter)
When I notice my phone is on my desk, I will pick it up and put it in another room.
After I finish doing a deep work sprint (45 minutes), I will do some gentle shoulder rolls.
These habits may sound lame and boring, but they can inject a sense of power, control, ease and even happiness into your day.
When you’re less rushed, you’re less stressed. Because you’re less stressed, the people around you are also more likely to be less stressed (calm is contagious). It also means we end up with a more helpful and thoughtful society.
In our modern world, where we find ourselves increasingly polarised and tribalised, being less rushed and time pressured is something worth striving for.
Dr Jane Genovese delivers interactive and engaging study skills sessions for Australian secondary schools. She has worked with thousands of secondary students, parents, teachers and lifelong learners over the past 15 years.
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