I was in a rut. My wheels were spinning. I didn’t feel 100%.
So as an experiment, I decided to do something a little extreme . . .
I recently read the book 10 arguments for deleting your social media accounts right now by Jaron Lanier.
After reading this fabulous book, I realised I was in a toxic relationship with social media. It felt like Stockholm Syndrome. I could see my emotions, mind and attention were being tinkered and messed with.
As Nicholas Carr shares in his book The Shallows:
“I’ve had an uncomfortable sense that someone, or something, has been tinkering with my brain, remapping the neural circuitry, reprogramming the memory. My mind isn’t going – so far as I can tell – but it’s changing. I’m not thinking the way I used to think.”
I could relate to this. My mind was starting to feel different, too.
I had no time or desire to go on a short break by deactivating my accounts. I could see this technology was causing my brain harm. It was time to call it quits.
Not at all. My only regret is I didn’t delete them sooner.
Without social media in my life, here’s what I’ve experienced:
• I have more free time.
• I feel more confident.
• My focus is better.
• I’m less stressed.
• I’m happier.
Due to the intermittent reinforcement social media provides, checking it can become a bad habit. What can bad habits turn into?
Addictions.
An addiction is something you enjoy doing in the short term but ultimately, it undermines your wellbeing in the long term – but you do it compulsively anyway.
For instance, do you ever find yourself mindlessly reaching for your phone when your work/study gets a bit challenging?
I’m guilty of this. We all do it.
Unlike substance addictions, social media addiction is a more respectable kind of addiction. It’s totally normalised. Lots of people spend significant amounts of time on social media and no one says, “I think you have an addiction . . . I think you need help”.
But I could see where I was heading with social media. With my addictive personality, I needed help.
To protect my psyche, two years ago I setup rules and installed technology to restrict my time on social media. Here’s what I did:
• I used an internet blocker app (Freedom) to lock myself out of social media for most of the day
• I limited my sharing (posting only one to two times per week)
• I could only access social media on my laptop (not on my phone)
• I engaged in several digital detoxes and Digital Minimalist practices
But I still used social media for about 15-30 minutes each day. It was part of my daily routine.
Whenever I was feeling bored, logging in and checking my messages provided me with a little shot of dopamine, but I was never left feeling totally satisfied.
You’ve probably noticed people tend to post the best bits of their lives on social media. The highly curated posts can make you feel like a total loser.
One woman in my community started posting pictures of her pets lazing around her mansion. I’d compare my old house to hers and I’d just feel bad.
But it wasn’t just the upward comparisons that were making me sad . . .
Conspiracy theories. Fake news. Racist posts. Angry and/or ignorant comments. People say things online that they’d never dare say to another person’s face. As Jaron Lanier states:
“With nothing else to seek but attention, ordinary people tend to become assholes, because the biggest assholes get the most attention.”
During COVID lockdown, I had a friend write a series of awful comments on some of my posts. Several friends asked, “Who is this person? He’s trolling you”.
It was painful and confusing because in real life, I really liked him. I always found him to be a generous and kind person. But on social media, his inner troll had been unleashed. It was running wild.
But he wasn’t the only person who was acting weird and nasty . . .
I noticed that sometimes I felt annoyed and angry as I scrolled through my feed. Thoughts like these swirled through my head:
“I don’t care that your fiancé bought you an $80,000 car. Stop flaunting your wealth!”
“Why are you posting this conspiracy theory nonsense? This is dangerous. You idiot!”
“Your dinner looks so unhealthy. Where are the vegetables? You’re heading for clogged arteries and a heart attack!”
Even now I feel awful typing these thoughts out. But I can’t deny it. Social media had unleashed Judgemental Jane.
The temptation was there to write something nasty. Most of the time, I didn’t post my nasty thoughts, but a couple of times I did. I swotted people down. Thwack!
Let me make it clear, it’s not something I feel proud of. But I also know I’m not alone.
Jaron Lanier argues we all have an inner troll/ugly alien that we need to keep a close eye on. He states:
“Each of us has an inner troll. In the early days, before everyone was doing it, the air was clearer and it was easier to notice how bizarre it is when your inner troll starts talking . . .
It’s like an ugly alien inside you that you long ago forgot about. Don’t let your inner troll take control! If it happens when you’re in a particular situation, avoid that situation! It doesn’t matter if it’s an online platform, a relationship or a job. Your character is like your health, more valuable than anything you can buy. Don’t throw it away.”
He also advises:
“If, when you participate in online platforms, you notice a nasty thing inside yourself, an insecurity, a sense of low self esteem, a yearning to lash out, to swat someone down, then leave that platform. Simple.”
So that’s what I did. I left. I hit delete.
And in that moment (of hitting delete), I felt this incredible sense of relief.
Facebook makes it quite difficult for you to leave. Thankfully, there are lots of simple videos (like this one) that show you how to exit the platform with ease. You just need the strength and resolve to do it.
Initially, I was reluctant to leave Facebook. I had a lot of photos from special events stored on the platform (e.g. my wedding day and bush walks with friends). The thought of having to go through and download each and every picture felt like a hassle. I didn’t have time to do that.
But I soon discovered that there’s an easy way to download all your data (including photos) from Facebook.
You can download every comment, every photo, every group and page you’ve ever liked all in one zip file. So before quitting, that’s what I did.
It took only 10 minute for Facebook to collate all my data into a zip file (file size: 1.22 GB).
Even if you don’t have any desire to delete social media, I highly recommend you download all the data that’s been collected on you.
Open up your data file and scroll through the thousands of comments you’ve made (yes, there will be thousands).
Here are some of my past comments:
“Awesome!!!”
“Ouch! Sending healing vibes your way!”
“Fancy pants! Looks great!”
You’ll soon realise (as I did) that a lot of your precious life energy has been wasted in useless pontificating.
It was time for me to get real. If I’m totally honest with myself, 98% of what I was doing on social media was not a good use of my time and energy.
The thing about time is it’s your most precious and valuable resource.
Harvard university researcher Dr Ashley Whillans shares in her book Time Smart:
“No matter our age, education, or income, we share the same reality: none of us knows how much time we have left. One day, time runs out and tomorrow never comes. This is one of the core discoveries I’ve made researching time and money: we don’t understand well that time is our most valuable resource, and it is finite.”
Instead of engaging in mindless scrolling in the evenings, I’ve cooked healthy meals. I’ve had some great conversations with my family and friends. I’ve started doing yoga classes.
I feel much happier and a lot less stressed. In fact, a study by the Denmark Happiness Research Institute found that regular Facebook users who took a break from the platform were 55% less stressed. They also reported that they felt happier and had better concentration.
Hell no!
Lanier states, “The internet itself is not the problem.”
I’m no luddite. Technology and I are still pals. But for the sake of my brain and wellbeing (and to keep my character intact), I have unfriended social media.
I still access the internet. I send emails. I share my ideas on my website and via my e-newsletter. I stay up-to-date with world events by going direct to news websites. If I want to connect with friends, I send a text or call and we organise a time to catch-up.
Lanier’s call to action is simple. He says:
“To free yourself, to be more authentic, to be less addicted, to be less manipulated, to be less paranoid . . . for all those marvellous reasons, delete your accounts.”
Maybe deleting your accounts isn’t the right thing for you to do. That’s okay. But please, do yourself a favour and take a break from social media. Use that time to reassess your relationship to social media and think about the kind of person you want to be in the world (and the kind of life you want to live).
Deleting social media helped me get out of a rut. I’m more engaged with the world around me and the things that keep me grounded and nourished. It’s brought me a step closer to the things that I value most.
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Unless you’re a superhero in a Marvel film, no one benefits from exposure to asbestos, lead paint, tobacco, and radioactive substances.
Toxic products are just like toxic people. It’s best to steer clear of them if you can.
If you can’t avoid them, then it’s wise to take precautions and minimise your exposure as much as possible.
Only a small child or a foolish adult would handle asbestos or a radioactive substance with their bare hands.
But I want you to consider that millions of people all around the world are constantly exposing themselves to another class of toxic products and they are unaware of it. What’s unique about these products is that the harms are invisible.
Exposure to these toxic products can result in:
I’m talking about social media platforms, such as TikTok, Facebook, and Instagram.
Over the years, I’ve read extensively on the invisible harms linked with social media. As someone who was an early adopter of Facebook, I’ve seen these harms firsthand.
I was addicted to social media until I read the book Ten Arguments for Deleting Your Social Media Accounts Right Now. I read this book in a day. The book had such a profound impact on me that I deleted all my social media accounts that evening back in November 2020.
I firmly believe now that social media is the mother of all toxic products and it’s time we started relating to it in this way.
As it turns out, I’m not alone in my thinking.
In a 2024 New York Times article, the US Surgeon General Dr Vivek Murthy stated that warning labels should be placed on social media platforms, similar to the warnings that appear on cigarette packs. He wrote:
“It is time to require a surgeon general’s warning label on social media platforms, stating that social media is associated with significant mental health harms for adolescents. A surgeon general’s warning label, which requires congressional action, would regularly remind parents and adolescents that social media has not been proved safe.”
He also wrote:
“Adolescents who spend more than three hours a day on social media face double the risk of anxiety and depression symptoms, and the average daily use in this age group, as of the summer of 2023, was 4.8 hours. Additionally, nearly half of adolescents say social media makes them feel worse about their bodies.”
Mental health issues are just one of many toxic by-products created by social media platforms.
The Center for Humane Technology has created a Ledger of Harms that details the hidden costs linked to social media, including a polluted information ecosystem that makes it hard for people to make sense of complex issues.
Under the heading ‘Making sense of the world: Misinformation, conspiracy theories, and fake news’, it states:
“A broken information ecology undermines our ability to understand and act on complex global challenges from climate change to COVID-19.”
This is why I believe social media is the mother of all toxic products. By fragmenting our attention and impairing our ability to understand complex issues, it becomes increasingly difficult to solve the massive challenges of our time.
We’ve placed too much trust in social media platforms without fully understanding how they work and what these apps are doing to our brains, relationships, and society.
Even if you understand the hidden harms, you may think that they don’t apply to you. That somehow you are immune to the risks.
I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve heard my friends make comments like:
There’s a reason why many parents working at big tech firms like Facebook and Instagram don’t let their children use the apps they work on.
It’s because they know these platforms cause harm.
For too long, we have naively trusted social media to be on our side. We believe what we see in our feed is a reflection of society. But it’s not.
Your feed is curated by the algorithm to keep you clicking, scrolling, and posting for as long as possible. This is why it feeds you outrageous content. Outrageous content hijacks your amygdala (the fear centre of your brain) and captures your attention.
The more data these companies can extract from you, the more profit they make. That’s the business model of Big Tech.
Put simply, Big Tech does not care about your wellbeing. It doesn’t care about supporting you with your goals or presenting you with accurate information that will help you make sense of the world.
As Philosopher James Williams writes in his book Stand Out of Our Light:
“There’s a deep misalignment between the goals we have for ourselves and the goals our technologies have for us.”
It’s time we said enough is enough to these Silicon Valley tech bros and their relentless pursuit of amassing more and more wealth through their addictive platforms at the expense of our collective wellbeing.
It’s painfully clear that a small handful of tech companies are hurting millions of people and bringing down society. As Jaron Lanier states:
“Bringing down a society to get rich is a fool’s game and Silicon Valley is acting foolish.”
These tech bros got rich because they captured our attention and we gave them our data. But we don’t have to put up with this. There is another way.
The Australian government is leading the way with a social media ban for under-16s. It’s a bold move that Big Tech companies are not happy about.
From December 10, all Australians under the age of 16 will be banned from using social media, such as TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, X, and Snapchat.
But why should this ban only apply to teens under 16?
Everyone would be better off by taking a break from these platforms.
As young people move away from social media, I encourage everyone, especially parents, teachers, and older siblings, to try taking a break from these apps too.
Your self-imposed social media ban doesn’t have to be forever. It could be for just 30 days.
If you’re thinking, “30 days! Why so long?”, here’s why . . .
You need to be off social media for a while to clear your head and see how crazy it all is.
What I discovered by deleting the apps is that when I used them they scrambled my brain. When I was on the platforms, they made me performative, jealous, and desperate for attention.
But it’s difficult to see it when you’re under the spell of these mind controlling platforms. Like a person exiting a cult or sobering up from alcoholism, you need to step back and gain some distance to recognise the toxic impact it’s having on you.
If, after 30 days, you feel stronger without social media in your life, you have the option of extending your ban. Or you can delete your accounts. The choice is yours.
There are several other reasons why taking an extended break from social media is well worth doing.
Firstly, this is a powerful way to show solidarity with young Australians as they go cold turkey on addictive tech.
This transition won’t be easy, especially for heavy users of the apps. By joining the under-16s in taking a break from the apps, we can better understand what they’re experiencing and offer support and compassion.
It’s also an opportunity to get to know ourselves better and live more authentic and free lives.
In Ten Arguments for Deleting Your Social Media Accounts Right Now, Jaron Lanier says:
“To free yourself, to be more authentic, to be less addicted, to be less manipulated, to be less paranoid…for all these marvelous reasons, delete your accounts.”
Big tech companies want you to think that without social media, there will be no internet or support groups to help you through tough times. That you will be isolated and lonely without their apps.
But don’t believe the lies.
The Internet will still be there to use and explore. You’ll have chat groups, friends you can email, text, and call, and meet-ups you can attend.
Trust me when I say this: you will adjust and get to know yourself better by taking a break from social media.
Whether you are forced to get off social media by the government or you voluntarily decide to take an extended break, here are my suggestions for a smooth transition off these addictive platforms:
Initially, leaving social media will feel hard. You will find yourself picking up your phone to open the app to start scrolling, but it won’t be there.
You will most likely feel a sense of loss (I did). Expect to feel restless and irritable to begin with.
But these feelings will pass.
What is happening is your brain is adjusting to a new, lower level of mental stimulation. It’s adjusting to a world where it doesn’t constantly receive quick hits of dopamine.
At some point, the discomfort will disappear and be replaced with a feeling of calm.
During this time of adjustment, treat yourself with extra care. Spend time outdoors, go for walks, get good sleep, fuel up on nutritious meals, and do things with your hands (write, draw, colour in, etc).
Engage in activities that connect you to yourself, others and the world around you.
When you engage in healthy lifestyle practices, your brain releases a balanced cocktail of chemicals (including dopamine), which leaves you feeling good rather than anxious.
When you wake up, resist the urge to check your phone right away. Even if you don’t have social media on your device, there are plenty of other ways to get quick dopamine hits, like messaging friends, checking your email, or reading the news.
When you check your phone or email first thing, it puts you in reactive mode. You also risk crashing your dopamine system, leaving you feeling sluggish and flat.
I like to start the day with some form of physical activity, such as going for a run on my treadmill or riding my bike, or tidying up my space. These activities provide a slow release of dopamine, helping set me up for the day ahead.
Some academics say generative AI is like crack cocaine for social media addicts. For this reason, it doesn’t make sense to replace social media with an anthropomorphic chatbot (e.g., ChatGPT) that sycophantically tells you what you want to hear and provides a friction-free ‘relationship’.
Life and human relationships are messy. But unlike AI chatbots, these things are real.
Time gained by stepping away from social media is best spent in the real world with real humans.
Be proactive about your social life. Text or email your friends to organise catch-ups. Take delight in hearing about what they’ve been up to.
Instead of getting a picture-perfect, curated version you’d see online, you’re more likely to receive a raw and refreshingly honest account of what’s been happening in your friend’s life.
Without social media, you’ll find yourself with a lot more free time. Use that free time to teach yourself a new skill or explore a new topic.
When I left social media, I joined a local Yoga studio, upped my kitchen game (learning how to cook delicious plant-based meals) and enrolled in free online courses that would increase my knowledge and skills.
How will you get your news? By heading straight to online news sites.
I have several online news sites loaded into my streamdeck to stay up-to-date with what’s going on in the world (e.g., Democracy Now, Al Jazeera, Guardian, All Sides, and ABC). All I need to do is hit a button, and I’m reading the news with the peace of mind that I’m no longer in a filter bubble.
There will be times when you feel lonely, bored, and sad. Instead of trying to suppress or numb these emotions, journal or draw what you’re feeling and thinking.
You could also write a letter to yourself. If you don’t know what to write, here are some prompts to get you started:
Whatever you would normally post and share, you’re now sharing with an audience of one: yourself. The good thing is there’s no need to worry about offending anyone or being cancelled. You can fully express yourself without the fear of being judged by others.
There are many toxic products in the world that we need to be aware of, and social media is another one of them. We need to treat it with extreme caution, as no one is immune to the harms caused by these platforms.
In the book The Anxious Generation, Dr Jonathan Haidt asks the question:
“What would the sages advise us today about managing our phone-based lives? They’d tell us to get off our devices and regain control of our minds.”
Australian teenagers under 16 will soon be banned from social media, but the rest of us can choose to leave the platforms freely.
In the spirit of reclaiming your mental freedom, I challenge you to run a tiny experiment where you refrain from using social media for at least 30 days.
As your brain adapts to a lower level of stimulation, you’ll experience a sense of freedom, satisfaction, and calmness. You’ll notice your life force, energy, and focus returning to you once again.
As someone who loves to read, I always look for great books to add to my shelves and the growing pile of books next to my bed. Over the past year, I’ve stumbled upon some amazing books that I’m excited to share with you.
Whether you’re looking to enhance your thinking, organise your life, create new habits, or get absorbed in an inspiring story, this list has something for everyone.
Here are nine standout books from my 2024 reading list that are well worth your time.
Let me know which ones you’re excited to pick up—and don’t forget to share your recommendations with me. Let’s go!
“We use our brains entirely too much – to the detriment of our ability to think intelligently. What we need to do is think outside the brain.”
There’s an old assumption that thinking happens inside the brain. But this book blows that assumption apart. Annie Murphy Paul presents compelling research that shows there are many ways we can use the world around us to improve our ability to think, learn, and unleash creative ideas.
This book changed my behaviour in several ways:
I’ve been able to “extend my intelligence” using my body, physical space, and relationships. If you’re curious about the science behind these behaviours, I recommend reading this book.
“Avoid all exercise”, “Maximise screen time”, and “Can’t afford it? Get it anyway”.
These are just three of the 40 behaviours and habits psychologist Dr Randy Paterson encourages us to engage in to guarantee a lifetime of misery.
This book takes advice we all need to hear, flips it, and presents it in a way that cuts through.
I was surprised by how motivating this book was. It made me want to move my body, stay off screens, and engage in self-care acts way more than your usual self-help book. It also helped that it was laugh-out-loud funny.
How to be Miserable was such a delight to read that I purchased Paterson’s other book for young adults (How to be Miserable in Your Twenties). Both books I highly recommend.
“A restaurant is a promise: walk in and we’ll be ready. Select anything on our menu and we’ll cook it for you quickly and well.”
Chefs can’t wing it. They need to be organised and have a plan. We can learn a lot about how to organise ourselves and manage our commitments from the culinary world.
This book outlines the philosophy and strategies of running a successful commercial kitchen and shows how to apply these ideas to navigate our lives with power and ease.
Dan Charnas discusses ideas such as slowing down to speed up, knolling, rearranging spaces to remove resistance and making first moves. As someone who loves cooking and being organised, I thoroughly enjoyed this book.
“As Australia is the third-largest exporter of fossil fuels in the world, what we do over the next handful of years really, really matters. The time for standing on the sidelines has passed.”
Joelle Gergis is a climate scientist who gave up a prestigious academic position to sound the alarm on the climate emergency. In this Quarterly Essay, she lays out the latest climate science in a clear and compelling way and shows readers what is at stake if we continue business as usual (e.g., approving new fossil fuel projects).
This essay is a heavy but essential read for all Australians who want a liveable future.
This book is a collection of nuggets of wisdom that Kevin Kelly wrote for his adult children. This is life advice he wishes he had known earlier.
At first glance, this looks like just another standard book of uplifting quotes. But don’t be mistaken. This is no ordinary book of quotes.
Kelly could have easily written entire waffly chapters on each quote, but I’m so glad he restrained himself. Each quote is small but mighty, providing plenty of food for thought and practical advice.
Here is a small selection of Kelly’s life advice that resonated with me:
“Be frugal in all things except in your passions. Select a few interests that you gleefully splurge on. In fact, be all-round thrifty so that you can splurge on your passions.”
“The best work ethic requires a good rest ethic.”
“We tend to overestimate what we can do in a day and underestimate what we can achieve in a decade. Miraculous things can be accomplished if you give it 10 years.”
The Australian government recently passed legislation to ban social media use by teenagers. Some have cited this book as the reason for the ban. If that’s true, I can certainly see why.
Social psychologist Dr Jonathan Haidt argues that we are overprotecting our children in the real world while underprotecting them online. This has led to disastrous consequences for young people’s mental health and development.
Before reading this book, I didn’t like social media companies and the manipulative strategies they use to hijack people’s time and attention. Over the years, I had read a lot of books outlining the harms of social media. What’s unique about this book is that Haidt presents a plan for cleaning up the mess these Big Tech companies have created and ensuring children develop in a healthy way.
Haidt’s plan involves keeping children off social media for as long as possible. Whether you’re a child or an adult, I firmly believe that everyone can benefit from some time away from these platforms. As Haidt succinctly puts it:
“The Anxious Generation is a book about how to reclaim human life for human beings in all generations.”
This book argues that we’ve been brainwashed to measure whether we are winning at life by the size of our possessions and the amount of money we have. However, according to author Robin Sharma, this definition of success is far too narrow and limiting.
Sharma expands the definition of wealth and what it means to “live abundantly and beautifully” by sharing other forms of wealth often overlooked by capitalist culture.
If we invested more time in personal growth, building connections and community, and cultivating good health, we would feel deeply alive rather than exhausted from the hedonic treadmill.
I’ll leave you with this quote that struck a chord with me (written in the chapter on Health):
“If you don’t feel good physically, mentally and spiritually, all the money, possessions and fame in the world mean nothing. Lose your wellness (which I pray you never will) and I promise you that you’ll spend the rest of your days trying to get it back.”
This delightful children’s book starts with Jim Panzee waking up feeling grumpy.
“The sun was too bright, the sky was too blue, and the bananas were too sweet”.
Have you ever woken up feeling a little bit off?
This book is a fun way for everyone (not just little kids) to understand human emotions. It’s okay to be grumpy! It’s okay to wake up feeling a bit off. Allow yourself to experience these emotions. In time, they shall pass.
One of my relatives is obsessed with The Wiggles (an Australian children’s performance group). After reading Anthony Field’s memoir (the Blue Wiggle), I finally understand all the fuss. The Wiggles are amazing!
Field’s memoir takes a deep dive into how the band started, how they managed to stay true to their values and mission, and the challenges they faced along the way.
Field is honest about his difficult time in school, media blunders, and his struggles with physical and mental health issues over the years. What can I say? Out of the Blue is a refreshing, wholesome read.
“I’ve been thrilled to become the major on-stage instrumentalist playing guitar, bass, drums, mandolin, bouzouki, and anything else a curious child might want to explore musically. It turns out that the maintenance of a child-like wonder about the world isn’t so hard to retain, even after you turn 60.”
There you have it! Nine books that shifted my perspective and changed my behaviour in some way. Now, it’s over to you – what books helped to shape your year? Are there any you’d recommend?
I’d love to hear your recommendations.
When you feel slightly bored, do you feel a reflexive, gravitational pull to check your phone?
If you spend hours each day clicking, scrolling, and posting, I want you to know that it’s not your fault.
It’s not that your weak willed, lacking discipline, or a lazy person.
It’s none of these things.
It’s no mystery or secret why so many people waste so much time on social media. Like a poker machine, these platforms are designed to be highly addictive.
Apps like TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, SnapChat, X (formerly Twitter) and YouTube contain persuasive design features that hijack your most valuable and precious resources: your time, energy, and attention.
Because the more time we spend on their apps, the more data they can extract and sell for social influence.
The business model of Big Tech companies is simple: Keep people glued to their platforms for as many hours a day as possible.
In other words, your time and attention equal massive profits for these companies.
In his excellent book The Anxious Generation, social psychologist Dr Jonathan Haidt presents data showing teens aged 13-18 spend an average of six to eight hours every day on social media apps. That’s close to 50 hours a week.
Dr Haidt notes that this is just the time spent on the app. It doesn’t factor in the time spent thinking about social media while they multitask in the real world.
So, that’s 50+ hours that could have been spent outside in nature, learning a language, working a part-time (or full-time) job, making art, cooking, exercising, getting more sleep, and hanging out with friends.
Let’s also not forget that these apps intervere with and harm our wellbeing and ability to think and learn.
The multi-tasking that takes place as we engage with these apps throughout the day drains our brainpower, weakens our memory, and makes us tense and anxious.
The social comparisons we engage in on these platforms also warps our perception of reality and leaves us feeling like we’re not enough.
So, here’s something to consider . . .
It’s possible, and I’m going to show you how.
I recently discovered a simple tool that helps people stop mindlessly consuming social media and other addictive apps.
It’s an app called one sec.
one sec is a self-nudging tool that helps you to create barriers to Big Tech that align with your goals and values.
As you open up an addictive app, one sec intervenes by creating a 10-second delay in opening the app.
one sec creates the little bit of friction needed to make you pause and reconsider your behaviour.
After the delay, one sec presents you with a choice: Do you want to proceed with opening up the target app (e.g., TikTok)? Or close the app and do something else?
The creators of one sec explain it works by utilising three intervention strategies:
It’s important to highlight that you’re in control of the whole experience. You specify what apps you want one sec to target. You can also modify the time delay (making it shorter or longer) and change the deliberate messaging.
Or is it just another gimmicky product that fails to change your behaviour in a significant way?
I’ve been experimenting with this app for the last month, and I’m pleased to say it’s working for me!
Even though I don’t have social media and the wicked algorithms that come with them, I recently noticed that I was spending far too much time in group chats.
one sec has helped me be more intentional and deliberate with how I engage with these chat groups.
Instead of mindlessly checking these apps whenever I have time to kill, I now have dedicated periods when I engage with them. I’m following Dr Faye Begeti’s advice when she recommends in her book The Phone Fix to “Set a finite number of times for checking social media, condensing a large number of short checks into defined, longer ones.”
This is what one sec has helped me to do, and as a result, my focus and well-being have improved. I feel calmer. My days feel longer and less frenetic.
But I realise I’m a sample size of one. Plus, I’m highly motivated to reduce my time on addictive apps.
The short answer is yes.
This research study found the app one sec helped people to significantly decrease their social media consumption.
In this study, 280 participants used the one sec app for a six-week period. Here’s what the researchers found:
36% of the time participants attempted to open a target app, they chose to close the app using one sec (i.e., they did not proceed with using the target app).
Over time, participants also opened the target apps less.
Opening problematic apps less or choosing to close problematic apps before engaging with them is actually a really big deal. Here’s why . . .
Less engagement with these addictive apps means less hits of dopamine.
Every quick and easy hit of dopamine you get from social media leads you to crave more stimulation from these apps. Before you know it, you’re in a full blown dopamine driven feedback loop.
Whenever I’m stuck in a dopamine loop, I’m not #livingmybestlife. Far from it! I feel overstimulated, chaotic, and jittery. Here’s why . . .
In his book How to Calm Your Mind, Chris Bailey explains that the brain networks for dopamine and calm are anti-correlated.
What does this mean?
It means when the dopamine network is activated, the calm network isn’t.
Imagine every time you mindlessly reach for your phone to check social media, you’re moving further and further away from a state of calm.
This may explain why participants in the one sec study reported experiencing increased satisfaction and happiness after decreasing their consumption of problematic apps.
The main intervention features (i.e., the time delay and option to not proceed with the target app) will help you decrease your consumption of addictive apps.
But there are many other features available with this app.
As you explore the additional features, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. There’s a lot of extra bells and whistles. For example, there is the “Don’t get lost” notifications (i.e., scheduled reminders to close the target app when you are using it) and website blocking.
But like a lot of things in life, more features don’t necessarily result in a better user experience.
Ultimately, I decided to follow BJ Fogg’s behaviour design principle of ‘Simplicity changes behaviour’. I stuck with using just the basic features of this app.
I knew if I overcomplicated the app, I probably wouldn’t use it.
All that being said, there were two additional features I incorporated:
I use the strict block feature every day. To be clear, the strict block feature is not to be confused with the basic block feature. What’s the difference?
If you select a basic block, you’re not really blocking yourself from the app. But there’s a barrier in place. If you try to open the target app, it brings up the following message:
“Be honest with yourself. Do you really want to stop this block?”
Whereas a strict block is a genuine bona fide block. You cannot use your target apps until the block is over.
If you have developed a mindless habit of reaching for your phone and checking certain apps, you need a strict block in place until your brain has had a chance to recalibrate itself.
Here is the tiny habit I created to give my brain a chance to rewire to lower hit of dopamine from my smartphone:
After I pick up my phone in the morning, I will open one sec and press strict block for six hours.
Activating a strict block means I’m in charge for the first six hours of my day (and the addictive apps are not running the show). This sets the tone for the day and puts me in proactive mode rather than chasing quick hits of dopamine. It also helps me stay calm and grounded.
A word of warning:
Even when you feel like you have regained control over your target apps, you must remain vigilant. It’s super easy to get drawn back into a dopamine-driven feedback loop.
The journal prompt is simple and effective. Before accessing the target apps, I am prompted to write about what I have done and what I feel grateful for.
I write 25 words before proceeding to the target app. This gives me a moment to reflect, which is always a worthwhile practice.
There is a free version of one sec you can use, but it limits you to applying one sec to only one target app.
If you have multiple addictive apps on your phone (as most of us do), I recommend the paid version to unlock all the features.
It costs $25AUD for the year, which is value for money if you ask me. The app has already paid for itself in terms of the time, energy, and attention I’ve reclaimed.
I should mention that I had trouble initially installing one sec and getting it to work on the target apps. The process was a little finicky, and I nearly gave up after 20 minutes of trying to figure out how to get the app to work.
You can find similar intervention apps that are free and easier to install, such as ScreenZen. ScreenZen appears to be based on similar mechanisms (i.e., introducing a time delay and friction to the target app).
My brother recently started using ScreenZen to help combat his mindless habit of scrolling through social media. When I asked for his thoughts on this self-nudging app, he said, “It’s annoying.” But then he quickly added, “But that’s the point. It’s annoying, and that’s why you use the apps less.”
Another great feature of ScreenZen is that after spending seven minutes on the target app, it puts a stopping mechanism in place by prompting you to think about if you want to keep using the app.
I don’t think anyone consciously sets a goal to spend 20, 30, or 50+ hours a week on social media. But if you don’t have strategies to combat the addictive apps on your phone, one thing is certain: Big Tech companies will hijack your time, energy, and attention.
As Michael Harris states in his book The End of Absence:
“Never forget that you live in an ecosystem designed to disrupt you, and it will take you for a ride if you let it.”
So, don’t be taken for a ride. You can easily access self-nudging tools, such as one sec and ScreenZen, to help you defend your time, energy, and attention.
Think of the things you’ve always wanted to do but tell yourself, “I don’t have the time. I’m too busy”. What if you could reclaim a significant chunk of time to do those things today? Would it be worth taking a chance on a self-nudging app?
You’ve got nothing to lose except potentially $25.
I encourage you to test out one of these apps to protect your most precious resources (i.e., your time, energy, and attention).
Note: In case you’re wondering, I have not been paid or sponsored by one sec to write this article.
