Here’s what comes to mind . . .
I see a middle aged man hunched over a keyboard. He’s wearing a freshly pressed shirt his mother has just ironed. His belly is spilling over his pants.
He’s toxic.
He’s a bully.
He’s totally destructive.
Now I want you to imagine this ugly troll lives within you.
He’s not trolling other people. This troll is hurling nasty comments directly at you – “You’re stupid!”, “You’re lazy” and “You’re going to fail, so why even bother?”
When we say these cruel things to ourselves, we’re effectively trolling ourselves.
We can mistakenly believe that criticising ourselves will motivate us to try harder. To lift our game. To not make the same mistake again. But sadly, it has the opposite effect.
Research by Dr Kristen Neff at the University of Texas at Austin shows that when we judge ourselves harshly this decreases our motivation to study. It makes it harder for us to keep going with that subject we’re struggling with.
Do we need to work on our self esteem?
According to Dr Neff focusing on boosting self esteem is problematic. Why? Because it typically relies on comparing yourself to others to feel a sense of superiority. You want to avoid the comparison trap at all costs.
A much better strategy is to practise self compassion.
Dr Neff defines self compassion as follows:
“ . . . self compassion involves being open to and aware of one’s own suffering, offering kindness and understanding to oneself, desiring the self’s well-being, taking a non-judgemental attitude towards one’s inadequacies and failures, and framing one’s own experience in light of the common human experience.”
In the context of learning, research has found that self compassion can help students to bounce back from academic failures.
In one study, Neff and her colleagues explored the relationship between self compassion and other psychological factors (e.g. intrinsic motivation) after a perceived academic failure. Here’s what this team of researchers did . . .
They recruited students who were enrolled in difficult university courses (and therefore, were likely to fail or not do well on the exam).
The students received their exam result and a day later they were asked to fill in a self report measure. The researchers then focused on students who related to their exam grade as a failure (i.e. they were highly dissatisfied with their grade).
Self compassionate students were more motivated to keep going after receiving their disappointing exam result.
The researchers stated:
“Even after receiving a disappointing grade, it seems that self-compassionate individuals were more able to remain interested and involved in the course topic. This may be due to the fact that self-compassionate individuals do not launch into excessive self-blame when they fail or feel isolated and over-identified with their failure – behaviors that are likely to detract from the ability to remain interested in learning for its own sake.”
In addition, other studies have found self compassionate students are less likely to procrastinate. The figure below is from a study called Start today or the very last day? The relationships among self-compassion, motivation, and procrastination. The solid black bar represents the students who scored high in self compassion (note: this difference was statistically significant).
A lot of the time when we procrastinate, it’s not because we’re lazy. It’s because we’re feeling scared. We’re scared of failing and looking stupid.
The thing about self compassionate students is they have less fear of failure. They don’t see failure as an attack on their self worth or identity but as an opportunity to learn and grow. So they tend to just get on with doing what they need to do.
As Dr Neff states:
“One thing self compassion gives you is it makes it safe to fail. When you know that when you fail you won’t desert yourself, you’ll still be there for yourself, you’ll still be kind and supportive to yourself, what it does is it makes it safe to fail and it allows you to learn from your failure.”
We’re masterful at self-criticism but terrible at saying kind things to ourselves. Rest assured, with a little practise, you can swap the self-trash talk habit for self compassion.
Here are three strategies you can test out:
You’re not the only person who makes mistakes and stuffs up. Everyone bombs out on tests or exams from time to time. We all have bad days.
Who wants to be perfect and do things perfectly anyway?
That’s boring.
As Scott Berkun says in his book Confessions of a Public Speaker:
“If you’d like to be good at something, the first thing to go out the window is the notion of perfection. Every time I get up to the front of the room, I know I will make mistakes. And this is OK. If you examine how we talk to one another every day, including people giving presentations, you’ll find that even the best speakers make tons of mistakes.”
He goes onto add:
“Obsessing about perfection stops you from growing. I don’t want to be perfect. I want to be useful, I want to be good, and I want to sound like myself. Trying to be perfect gets in the way of all three.”
So accept that you’re going to fumble, be clumsy and make A LOT of mistakes. Ultimately, this is how you learn and grow.
In the book Tiny Habits, professor BJ Fogg talks about the importance of celebrating little wins. Every time you engage in a positive behaviour that leads you towards your goals and aspirations, you need to release a positive emotion to wire in that new habit. For instance, you could say “Good job!”, clap your hands or do a little dance.
I’ve found that celebrating tiny successes, such as making my bed and putting on my walking shoes, helps to keep my inner troll in check.
Imagine a kind friend is experiencing your exact same situation. What would you say to them?
Chances are you wouldn’t dare say all these cruel things you’re currently saying to yourself.
Think about what gentle and encouraging words you would text or email to this friend. Write them down. And then read those kind word out to yourself.
Life is hard. Why make things even harder by trolling yourself? In these uncertain times, we need to protect our mental environment. Practising self compassion can strengthen us mentally and help us to keep moving forward.
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Some of us have a tendency to ignore our Future Self, preferring to live for the moment.
But when it’s the night before an exam and you’re scrambling to revise, I’m guessing you probably wish you’d given more thought to your Future Self.
In short, if you want to live a calm life, you can’t go ignoring Future You.
In this article, I share how you can get more connected to your Future Self to combat procrastination.
In every moment, we face choices such as these:
Do I watch YouTube or start studying for that upcoming test?
Do I eat a piece of cake or a piece of fruit?
Do I buy the new shirt or wear one I already own to save money?
Do I use ChatGPT or my brain?
In other words, do we choose the thing that gives us instant gratification, or do we choose the thing that will help us move towards our future goals?
When you choose instant gratification, you’re voting for Present You.
When you choose to delay gratification, you’re voting for Future You.
Just to be clear, it’s not always one or the other. Often you do things that benefit both Future You and Present You.
For instance, some people prepare healthy homecooked meals. This doesn’t feel like a sacrifice. The process can be enjoyable.
Some people also love the work they do, stating that the work feels more like play than a hard slog.
When we take both of these versions of ourselves into account (Present You and Future You), we are in a much better place, mentally and physically. It’s a win-win situation.
But often, these two versions of ourselves are not in perfect alignment. We wake up and find that we really don’t want to study for that upcoming exam. Or we feel a strong urge to buy that new shirt even though we have 20 perfectly good shirts in our closet.
Enter letter writing.
Research shows the simple act of writing a letter to your Future Self can help you feel more connected to Future You. This in turn can help you make better decisions in the present.
When you get connected to your Future Self, studies have found you’re more likely to save money, do better academically, exercise, and consider future consequences. You’re also less likely to procrastinate with your study.
Rather than letting things pile up for your Future Self to deal with (cue panic and overwhelm), your Present Self gets on with them in a calm and grounded way.
There’s a popular website called Futureme.org that allows you to write letters to your Future Self.
Here’s how it works . . .
You write a letter on the website and then set the date you want to receive your letter. For a small fee, the letter is emailed to you on that date.
On this website, people can select to make their letters available to the public to read. It’s fascinating to get a glimpse into other people’s lives and what they desire for their Future Selves.
It also gives you a sense of where people go wrong when writing to their Future Self.
One thing I’ve noticed is people can fall into the trap of ‘magical thinking’. They imagine their Future Self being wildly successful while failing to consider what it will take to actually achieve that future.
In one letter, a person writes, “YOU BETTER BE A SUCCESS!!!!” (no pressure). This anonymous person talks about getting a job (and if not, getting a Sugar Daddy), traveling the world, and not doing drugs. It’s a good start, but it doesn’t go far enough.
It’s like a person creating a vision board with cut-out images of things they desire, and thinking that by sticking these images onto a piece of card, they are manifesting these things into existence.
This is magical thinking, and in times of uncertainty, magical thinking tends to go into overdrive.
It may seem like a bit of harmless daydreaming, but research shows this kind of thinking can be harmful to our growth and development.
In her book Rethinking Positive Thinking, Dr Gabriele Oettingen writes:
“…dreamers are not often doers. My research has confirmed that merely dreaming about the future makes people less likely to realize their dreams and wishes (as does dwelling on the obstacles in their path). There are multiple reasons why dreaming detached from an awareness of reality doesn’t cut it. The pleasurable act of dreaming seems to let us fulfil our wishes in our minds, sapping our energy to perform the hard work of meeting the challenges in real life.”
What’s missing from this picture is being grounded in reality.
Science reveals a simple way to counteract this tendency to engage in magical thinking when writing a letter to Future You, and it’s simple:
Once you’ve written a letter to your Future Self, you must step into the shoes of Future you and draft a reply.
In other words, don’t let your Future Self ghost your Present Self.
This study found that the most effective way to get connected to your Future Self is a two-way letter exchange between Present You and Future You.
These researchers took a group of Japanese high school students and split them into two groups:
Group 1: Send only group – participants sent a letter to their Future Self
Group 2: Send and reply group – participants sent a letter to their Future Self and then stepped into the shoes of their Future Self and wrote a reply to their Present Self.
At one-month follow up, the students in group 2 who engaged in a back and forth exchange felt more connected to their Future Self than the students in group 1.
Group 2 also engaged in more intense career planning, and were better able to delay instant gratification when it came to their studies.
The researchers believed having to write a reply forced the students to engage in a practice called ‘mental contrasting’.
The students were able to dream big in their letters to their Future Selves, but the response letter grounded them in reality, shedding light on the obstacles and barriers that could prevent them from achieving their dreams.
When you step into the shoes of your Future Self and write a reply to your Present Self, it forces you to come up with a strategy on how to accomplish certain tasks and goals.
Writing a letter to and from your Future self is easier than it sounds.
Here’s what I find helps:
It can be a little daunting to write to your Future Self and step into the shoes of Future You, especially when things are so uncertain and the world is changing so rapidly (e.g., generative AI).
As humans, we like certainty. But the reality is we really don’t know what’s coming next.
This is why I find it helps to focus on 3-6 month timeframes.
Why 3-6 months?
It’s far easier to imagine what you’ll be like in 3 months than 20 years. It’s less abstract.
Whereas when you think of your Future Self in 20 years or even 2 years, we tend to be overly optimistic (even slightly delusional) about what we’ll be like.
As humans, we like to think that in 3 years, we’ll be more confident, less stressed, more capable, and more on top of things.
What happens when we think of our Future Selves in this way is that we tend to offload things to them (“Oh, I’ll leave that problem for my Future Self to deal with!”). In other words, we procrastinate.
In contrast, I’m far less likely to mess around if I’m inflicting pain on my Future self in 3 months. I can see that if I don’t get started on projects, tomorrow I’m going to wake up and feel annoyed with myself. Why? Because I have less time to do what I need to do. I’m going to feel stressed.
Where do you start when it comes to this unique letter writing exchange?
If you feel stuck, here are some prompts to get you started with your letter to Future You:
Right now, here’s what’s been happening in my life . . .
A task I’ve been procrastinating on is . . .
An area I currently feel stuck is . . .
Here’s what I’m struggling with . . .
A goal I’m working on is . . .
My daily routine goes something like this . . .
Here’s a special message for you . . .
You can also ask your Future Self questions such as: What goals are you working on? and What does a typical day in your life look like?
When you’ve finished writing your letter to your Future Self, give yourself a little break before you step into the shoes of your imagined Future Self to write a reply.
Go for a little walk, make yourself a nice drink, or do a short meditation. Do something to reset and re-energise your mind.
Once you’ve had a break, close your eyes and imagine stepping into the shoes of your future self. Imagine everything has gone according to plan. Imagine what your surroundings are like. Notice the way Future You feels.
Then reread your letter to your future self. After you’ve finished reading it, draft your reply.
Make sure you outline how you were able to achieve your goals (what steps did you take?). Remember, we want to get out of ‘magical thinking’ mode and get grounded in the reality of what the grimy work looks like.
If you’re tempted to simulate a conversation with your Future Self using AI, think twice.
One study used AI to assist people with talking to their 60 year old Future Self.
When I viewed an example of a simulated conversation from this study, it felt a bit clichéd and soulless (see image below). I wasn’t surprised to read that the participants reported the chat interactions felt ‘artificial’.
But it was something in the Limitations & Ethics section of the paper that caught my eye. The researchers wrote:
“There are many potential misuses of AI-generated future selves to be mindful of, including but not limited to: inaccurate depiction of the future in a way that harmfully influences present behavior, endorsement of negative behaviors, and the potential of over-reliance on such systems to assist decision-making.”
Since this paper was published back in 2024, we’ve seen concerns about these misuses and more come true: ChatGPT convincing teens to harm themselves, AI psychosis, and people becoming overly reliant on AI to the point where they no longer trust their own judgement.
This is why I recommend steering clear of AI to get connected to your Future Self. Trust yourself to be able to do this. You know yourself better than an AI chatbot.
Our current world is geared towards instant results and instant gratification. This can make it hard to make decisions in the present that benefit our future selves.
Research shows that a letter writing exchange between Present You and Future You is more effective than writing just a letter to Future You (with no reply).
I invite you to set aside 30 minutes to write these letters. Ideally, get away from screens and chatbots, and use your brain and hands to do this (trust me, it will feel nicer and more wholesome).
If you can stay grounded in reality, writing to and from your Future Self can be a simple practice to help you combat procrastination and do the things that are most important to you.
On these days, the temptation to procrastinate and distract oneself can be strong.
I recently spent a few days with my family in the countryside, where I enjoyed reading by a crackling fire. But when I found myself back home in my office, I struggled to get back into the swing of things.
I was experiencing a full-blown holiday comedown.
For some context, I had printed out the slides for an upcoming presentation that I needed to practise, but I felt resistance every time I looked at the slides.
My mind screamed, “Nooo! I don’t want to practise!”. Without even thinking, I kept pushing the slides away like a toddler smooshing their vegetables around on their plate.
But at some point, I caught myself in the act. Without berating myself, I managed to turn things around and ease into my practice.
In this blog, I’ll share a couple of simple strategies I use to get a better handle on my procrastination and overcome resistance.
According to Procrastination scholar Tim Pychyl, procrastination isn’t a time management issue. It’s an emotion management issue. If you can get a better handle on your emotions, you’ll have a better handle on procrastination.
Let’s unpack this…
Often, when we procrastinate, it’s because we’re trying to avoid experiencing negative emotions. The task we need to do brings up feelings of discomfort (e.g., boredom, fear, guilt, anxiety, and stress), so we avoid the task to make ourselves feel better.
But avoidance makes no sense when you think about it.
Oliver Burkeman explains the problems associated with avoidance in his book Meditations for Mortals. He writes:
“The more you organise your life around not addressing the things that make you anxious, the more likely they are to develop into serious problems – and even if they don’t, the longer you fail to confront them, the more unhappy time you spend being scared of what might be lurking in the places you don’t want to go. It’s ironic that this is known, in self-help circles, as ‘remaining in your comfort zone’, because there’s nothing comfortable about it. In fact, it entails accepting a constant background tug of discomfort – an undertow of worry that can sometimes feel useful or virtuous, though it isn’t – as the price you pay to avoid a more acute spike of anxiety.”
Dutch Zen Monk Paul Loomans labels the tasks we avoid as ‘gnawing rats’. He says these tasks “eat away at you under the surface”.
Have you noticed that whenever you try to avoid a task, it’s usually still on your mind, using up your precious mental resources?
That’s what Loomans means by the task eating away at you under the surface.
Why does he use the peculiar term ‘gnawing rat’? Looman’s daughter used to have pet rats that would eat loudly under his bed, keeping him awake at night.
Loomans explains that if you can befriend your gnawing rats, you can transform them into white sheep. Just like a white sheep follows you around passively, once you transform a task into a white sheep, it’s a lot easier to make a start.
The question is, how do you transform a ‘gnawing rat’ (a task you are avoiding) into a white sheep?
The key is to approach procrastination from a place of curiosity.
Loomans suggests creating a positive, open relationship with the task you’ve been avoiding. You need to sit with it or visualise the task. Instead of giving yourself a hard time, get curious about why you have such a strained relationship with this task.
Loomans advises:
“… you’re not being asked to immediately do whatever it is that’s gnawing at you. The assignment is only to establish a relationship with it. You let all the various facets sink in and then let them go again.
The rat no longer gnaws at you, and it has settled down. It’s no longer trying to get your attention, but follows quietly behind. It now has white legs and curly fleece – it’s turned into a white sheep.”
I decided to follow Looman’s advice with this presentation I had been avoiding. To begin with, I pulled out my slides and I just sat with them.
I closed my eyes, tuned into my body and asked myself:
“Why am I feeling resistance towards practising this presentation? What’s going on?”
Within 30 seconds, the answer came to me. The resistance came from how I thought I’d feel after doing my speech practice: exhausted and emotionally depleted.
You see, when I practice a presentation, I typically go into turbocharge mode. It’s like I’m delivering the real thing: I gesticulate, project my voice, pace around the room, and rely on my memory and the pictures on my slides to remember the content (I don’t refer to my notes).
All of this takes a lot of mental and physical effort.
So, naturally, when I looked at my slides for this one-hour presentation, I felt flat and heavy.
I equated one hour of presentation practice with having a fried brain by the end.
But then I had a brilliant idea. I thought, “What if this practice session didn’t have to feel like a hard slog? What if it could be fun, light and easy but still effective? What would that look like?”
It immediately occurred to me that I had to shorten my practice session, which brings me to the next strategy . . .
To keep my practice session fun, light and easy, I settled on doing just five minutes of speech practice.
Instead of pacing around my office and practising in turbocharge mode for an hour, I sat myself down with a hot chocolate. I set a timer for five minutes, pulled out a mini whiteboard and started recalling the content (scribbling out and drawing pictures of what I needed to say).
When the timer went off, I checked my notes to see how I went (What did I remember? What did I forget to say?).
Then, I checked in with myself – “How am I feeling after that mini practice session?”. Instead of feeling depleted, I was feeling good! I felt less overwhelmed by this presentation. The resistance had subsided. As Paul Loomans would say, the presentation had transformed from a gnawing rat into a white sheep!
I felt excited, even a little inspired.
I could have easily kept practising for another 10-20 minutes, but I decided to give myself a break to re-energise (I got up and walked on the treadmill for 2 minutes).
This gave me insight into the need to vary the intensity and mode of each study session, depending on my energy levels and what I have planned for the rest of the day. Sometimes it’s good to go into turbocharge mode, but not always.
Not every study/work session has to be hardcore. Work sessions that leave you feeling completely drained by the end can be counterproductive. As Professor BJ Fogg says, “Tiny is mighty”.
Firstly, tiny study sessions are less scary for your brain. Five minutes of speech practice and flashcard practice feels easy. You think, “I can do 5 minutes!”.
In contrast, one hour of study feels scary for your brain, which means you’re more likely to procrastinate.
When you go tiny, it’s also easier to give your full focus to the task at hand. Here’s the thing about focus: focusing your mind takes a lot of your brainpower. And you have a limited supply of brainpower!
As you sit there and study, your brainpower gets depleted. But research shows one way to boost your attentional resources (i.e. your brainpower) is by taking regular breaks. If you study in short focused bursts and then take a break, you can stay refreshed and ensure your study sessions are effective.
But most importantly, tiny study sessions help to create momentum, and they leave you feeling good!
I tend to push myself to the point of exhaustion when I practise my talks. But I can see now that this makes it hard for me to want to practise in the future.
By dedicating just 5–10 minutes to the task and enjoying it, I’m more likely to do another 5 minutes (or more) of practice tomorrow. Doing five minutes of practice every day is infinitely better than doing no practice or cramming a long practice session in the day before.
You’re not going to go from good to great in one tiny study session. But you can make meaningful progress and create the momentum you need to keep going.
So, don’t turn your nose up at five minutes of flashcard practice or 10 minutes of doing a practice test. If done with focus and intention, that’s a solid study session that can set you on the path to success.
Image credit:
Toddler (featured in image 2): “Skeptical” by quinn.anya is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0.
Rat: “Fancy rat blaze” by AlexK100 is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0.
Procrastination feels heavy.
But what if we could turn combating procrastination into a fun game?
Lately, when I catch myself avoiding a task, I’ll play a little game to see if I can get myself to move in the right direction.
I’ve discovered that it’s best to approach any task with a curious and playful mindset. If you take yourself too seriously, all the joy and fun can get stripped from the process.
Often, when I play this game, I surprise myself because the strategy works! I’ll be off and running with a task I procrastinated on for days.
But sometimes a strategy won’t work. That’s okay. When this happens, I usually take a little break before trying another approach.
I don’t claim to be a grandmaster at playing the game of combating procrastination. But these days, I can catch myself when procrastinating, notice the warning signs, and get moving in the right direction.
In this blog, I share how you can combat procrastination in a fun and playful way to fulfil your intentions and accomplish your goals.
Are you ready to play?
Let’s begin!
If you want to play this game of combating procrastination, you first need to understand what procrastination is and the rules of the game.
I recommend you play this game on your own so you’re not competing against anyone else. There’s no first or second place, no runners-up, and no one wins a trophy.
You can play with others, but it’s a collaborative game where you cheer each other on and gently coach each other into action.
It’s also a game that never ends because the work never ends. You are constantly learning and growing.
In her book ‘Procrastination: What it is, why it’s a problem and what you can do about it’ Dr Fuschia Sirois defines procrastination as:
“ . . . a common self regulation problem involving the unnecessary and voluntary delay in the start or completion of important intended tasks despite the recognition that this delay may have negative consequences.”
In other words, procrastination is:
Delaying a task + you know you are causing your Future Self pain and suffering.
There are some simple rules you need to understand to combat procrastination. Once you cement these rules in your brain, life becomes easier. Instead of experiencing constant resistance, you discover ease and flow.
Difficult work tends to bring up unpleasant emotions, such as boredom, stress, anxiety, fear, and frustration.
Most of us don’t like experiencing these feelings, so to repair our mood, we procrastinate. We avoid work and engage in easier, more fun tasks (e.g., scrolling through social media).
At the heart of combating procrastination is allowing yourself to sit with unpleasant feelings and push past them. Resist the urge to run to your devices. If you can do this, that’s 80% of the battle.
Pushing through the discomfort and making a start is a significant milestone worth celebrating.
Often, we wait for the perfect time to start a task. But it’s an illusion that there is a perfect time.
The perfect time is right now, amid the messiness and chaos of life.
“But I’m not feeling motivated!” I hear you say.
That’s okay. Make a start regardless of how you feel because here’s the part most people don’t understand:
Motivation follows action
In other words, you have to get moving for motivation to show up.
There are many great strategies and tools that can help you get started with a task, even when your motivation levels are low.
Once you have a selection of strategies and tools and you’ve practised using them a few times, you will feel more confident in your ability to combat procrastination.
Here are a few of my favourite strategies and tools for getting started with my work:
Fear is a significant driver of procrastination: fear that you won’t be able to do it, fear of failure, and fear of the unknown.
When you move your body, you decrease fear and anxiety. Movement can also help to calm and focus your mind and boost positive emotions.
This is why I start my day with a 20-30 minute run on my treadmill. It bathes my brain in feel-good chemicals, makes me feel stronger, and prepares me for the challenging work I’m about to face.
When a task feels big and overwhelming, it’s easy to procrastinate. But can you do 10 minutes on the task?
When I set a timer for 10 minutes, my brain thinks, “I can do 10 minutes. Easy!”
My brain then knows the task (and the unpleasant feelings) won’t last forever. The worst-case scenario is I experience 10 minutes of mild to moderate discomfort. When the timer goes off, I have a way out. I can do something else.
But what usually happens is after 10 minutes, I realise the task isn’t as bad as I thought it would be. The motivation has kicked in, and I’m on a roll.
When struggling to write my PhD, I attended a workshop led by an academic coach. She encouraged me to “Write crap” (her words, not mine).
This helped me to get over the perfection hump and make a start.
Most (if not all) great works started as rough drafts. The problem is we don’t see those rough early versions. We only see the polished final product. This messes with our minds and can lead to perfectionist tendencies kicking in.
Embrace the first messy draft. Celebrate it! You have to do it to get to the good stuff.
In the book ‘Everything in its Place’, Dan Charnas recommends the ‘Slow-but-don’t-stop’ technique for doing things you don’t want to do.
Here’s how it works:
If you’re feeling resistance towards a task, start doing it, but move very slowly. Breathe into the discomfort. Take your time.
Charnas writes that as you use this technique:
“You’ll still hate it [the task] but your task has become a moving meditation or like a game.”
For example, I used this strategy on the weekend to sort my laundry. The first step was to pick up the basket full of clothes and place it on my bed. Then, I picked up one item at a time and put them into piles (e.g., socks, activewear, and undies). I then selected a pile of items (socks) and dealt with one item at a time.
I’d usually rush to fold my clothes and feel slightly annoyed by the whole process (“Ugh, what a chore!”), but this time, it felt different. It felt like a meditation. I felt calm and grounded as I folded my socks.
The beauty of this technique is that the work will still get done, but as Charnas points out, you don’t give up control. You still have forward momentum.
As the Mexican proverb goes:
“An ant on the move does more than a dozing ox.”
Are there things in your workspace that distract you? Is there anything that reminds you of more fun stuff you could be doing (e.g., a video game console or your phone)?
Please get rid of those things or make them harder to access.
My phone is my biggest distraction. This is why I keep it away from my body in another room whenever I need to do focused work.
I’m currently experimenting with Mel Robbin’s 5-Second Rule. The 5-Second Rule is simple:
The moment you have the instinct to do a task before your brain can come up with an excuse not to do it, you count backwards ‘5 . . . 4 . . . 3 . . . 2 . . . 1!’ and you do it.
In her book ‘The 5 Second Rule’ Robbins explains the psychology underpinning the strategy. She writes:
“The counting distracts you from your excuses and focuses your mind on moving in a new direction. When you physically move instead of stopping to think, your physiology changes and your mind falls in line . . . the Rule is (in the language of habit research) a “starting ritual” that activates the prefrontal cortex, helping to change your behavior.”
The ultimate way to combat procrastination is to create a habit or a ritual. You need something that signals to your brain it’s time to engage in a particular behaviour.
With habits, you don’t have to stop and think, “What do I need to do now?”. Habits are automatic. Your brain knows exactly what it needs to do, and you do it.
For example, I have a habit of running on my treadmill before I launch into my day. My brain knows that after I put on my gym clothes and shoes, I turn on my treadmill and hit the speed button to start my warm-up.
I carry these behaviours out even when I’m not in the mood to run. That’s the power of habits.
Then, I suggest you cut yourself some slack.
Forgive yourself for procrastinating, pick a strategy, and get moving.
Most of us don’t do this, though.
We bag ourselves out in an attempt to motivate ourselves. The problem is this rarely works.
Dr Sirois says that intense self-criticism leads to negative thoughts, which lead to negative feelings. We end up feeling demotivated, which causes us to procrastinate even more!
You can stop the vicious cycle of procrastination by practising being kind to yourself.
If you follow these simple rules and be playful with experimenting with these strategies, you can get a better handle on procrastination.
Like anything in life, the key is practice. The more you practice allowing yourself to feel the unpleasant emotions instead of running from them, the better you’ll do. The more times you practice a strategy, the more natural it will feel and the sooner it will become a habit.
One foot in front of the other. You can do this.
