A pair of two miniature Dutch clogs.
It was a gentle reminder that I needed to take baby steps to finish my PhD.
At the time, I was touched by the gift (the clogs looked so sweet). But I also remember feeling kind of frustrated. I found myself thinking, “Ugh. Baby steps!”
I hated the idea of baby steps.
“Baby steps are for babies!”, I thought.
But I was wrong.
The baby step is your secret psychological weapon for getting stuff done.
Once you master the art of the baby step, life becomes a lot less stressful. Feelings of overwhelm disappear. But I have to admit, it took me a few years to realise the power of the baby step.
In his brilliant book How we change (and ten reasons why we don’t) Dr Ross Ellenhorn states:
“. . . small steps remind us of the distance to our goals and the disparity between what we want to be and what we currently are.”
Those little Dutch clogs were a painful reminder of how far I still had to go to complete my doctorate. Naturally, this brought up some feelings of discomfort, frustration and disappointment. I found myself thinking:
“I’ve been doing this for 5 years and I’m still not there yet! It’s taking forever! What’s wrong with me?”
We live in a world of instant gratification. There’s this cultural belief that everything should be fun, fast and easy.
When progress towards our goals doesn’t happen quickly, we can feel frustrated and demoralised.
But we need to remember, worthy endeavours take time and effort. If you want to achieve something meaningful and worthwhile in life, you’ll need to embrace baby steps.
In his book Tiny Habits Professor BJ Fogg provides some great advice on the importance of baby steps. He says:
“It’s time for someone to say it: you’ve got to lower your expectations. When I say this, people sometimes gasp. Or they smirk. Or they think I’m joking. But I’m serious.
Yes, in our hyperachieving, go-getter world, I’m telling you to lower the bar. Not because I don’t want you to achieve great things, but because I know you need to start small in order to achieve them. But you can’t succeed with starting small if you’re looking down your nose at it. Why do we clap for a baby when she is taking her first step? Not because she is doing it perfectly or because she “earned it” or because she did it bigger and better than the baby next door. We clap because we know it is the first small step that she is taking toward a lifetime of walking and running – and that is hugely important.”
You need to seriously lower the bar (and your expectations).
As writer and comedian Catherine Deveny says, “Plan to do less and you will do more”.
I recently realised my baby steps were way too big. They weren’t baby steps at all! They were more like giant leaps. No wonder I was having trouble getting started.
So I had to scale them right back.
The key to mastering the practice of baby steps is to make them really easy to do. Each step has to be so small and so easy that you can’t fail.
For example, instead of telling myself “Cook one pot burrito dish for dinner”, I now say “Place pot on stove” or “Turn on stove”.
These steps are less scary for my brain, so I’m more likely to get started.
I have a tendency to focus on everything I need to do all at once. I look at a project and it feels like this ugly mess . . .
I call this creature the Beast of Overwhelm. It feels like a big fat tangled mess of ideas. When this jumbled beast strikes, my mind screams “I don’t wanna!” and “It feels too hard!”. I want to run and hide. In those moments, the baby step is no where to be seen.
But the baby step is how you conquer this creature. The baby step is the only way to show this beast who is in charge. The baby step says, “Hey! Back off! Because I’m the one in control here!”.
Once you get clear on the little strand you’re going to untangle (i.e. the baby step) and you’re in action, that beast loses its power. The anxiety and overwhelm subside pretty quickly.
As Jen Sincero (author of You are a badass) explains:
“Overwhelm cannot touch you when you’re all wrapped up in the here and now. Overwhelm is a mindset. It’s the choice to focus on everything all at once and stress yourself out. Instead, choose to take your life moment by moment and savour it, like pulling bon-bons [chocolates] out of heart-shaped box and popping them into your mouth, one by one.”
If you’ve been feeling overwhelmed by a project, don’t despair. You just have to show the Beast of Overwhelm who’s the boss.
Ask yourself, “What’s my next baby step?” Make it so easy and small you can’t fail. Write it down and go do it. Don’t delay. Start untangling the beast today. You’ll feel better if you do.
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I experienced this firsthand when I was an exchange student living abroad. When I was 16, I travelled to the south of Italy to live in a small village called Spinazzola.
This had been my dream, and my parents forked out over $2,000 to make it come true (thanks, Mum and Dad!).,
I wanted to make the most of this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, so I set off with an ambitious goal to come back fluent in Italian.
Before I left for Italy, several people had told me that I would pick up the language “just like that!”. I was told that I’d be fluent in no time.
I took their words as gospel truth.
So I became concerned when, after just a few days in Italy, I wasn’t speaking like the locals. I thought, “Why am I not fluent in Italian by now? What’s going on? Is something wrong with me?”
Panic and worry set in. I became stuck in an anxiety loop. Thoughts rolled through my head, such as:
“Am I learning the language fast enough?”
“Am I going to come back knowing enough?”
“How will I compare to the other Australian exchange students? What if my Italian sucks?”
This anxiety spilled over into almost every amazing experience I found myself in: a trip to the local pizzeria with my new friends from school, family dinners, and day trips with other exchange students.
To counteract my fears, I doubled down on my study, carrying a mini pocket Italian dictionary with me everywhere I went (this was well before mobile phones and Google Translate existed).
About a month into my student exchange experience, out of the blue, a young man snatched the pocket dictionary out of my hands.
This man was called Gianluca. He was my host sister’s 18-year-old cousin who had travelled with his parents from Milan to spend Christmas with my host family.
Gianluca was a character. He had wild, voluminous curly hair, a cheeky smile, and a sense of style.
Gianluca was also a slightly arrogant man. He would say whatever was on his mind, seemingly without caring if he upset or offended others.
For example, one of my first interactions with Gianluca was when I sat down on a stool, thereby exposing my white socks. He gasped loudly and said in Italian:
“Jane Christine, white socks with black shoes is a fashion crime! No, No, No!”
I took his words very seriously and have never repeated this fashion faux pas.
But it was the moment when Gianluca snatched the dictionary out of my hands that I remember more than anything else. This moment had a profound impact on the rest of my exchange experience, and I am deeply grateful to him for that.
It was late in the evening. A group of us had been talking and playing Italian card games. Remember, these were simpler times (there were very few mobile phones back in those days and no social media).
I was struggling to follow the conversation in Italian, so I picked up my dictionary to look up a word, but Gianluca stopped me. He grabbed hold of the dictionary and said:
“Put the dictionary down. You don’t need this! Just be here in this moment!”
Gianluca was trying to tell me to relax. To stop hiding behind my dictionary. To stop trying so hard to learn Italian.
He was right. Sometimes, when you try too hard and are too fixated on achieving a future goal, it can get in the way of actually doing what you need to do (in my case, learning Italian).
Oliver Burkeman writes about this in his book Meditations for Mortals. He argues that there are benefits in not trying so hard. He writes:
“The less I’m trying to get something out of an experience, the more I find I can get into it, and the more I can be present for other people involved.”
Those first few weeks in Italy, I had been trying too hard to master the language and get the most out of my student exchange experience. I was trying to frantically get to a place where I could tick the ‘Fluent in Italian’ box.
I can now see clearly that by trying so hard to learn Italian, I was sacrificing my enjoyment in the present moment. I was also undermining my ability to learn Italian.
You’ve probably heard the phrase “La Dolce Vita”. This directly translates to “The Sweet Life”.
But what it means is a relaxed, easy-going approach to life. An approach where you enjoy the simple things: a hearty, simple meal shared with your family, a reviving nap in the middle of the day, and an evening stroll (‘passeggiatta’) down the main street with friends.
Whenever I picked up my dictionary, which was frequently during those first few weeks in Italy, I embodied the polar opposite of “La Dolce Vita”. I transformed a potentially fun, rich moment into an anxiety-fuelled study session.
I also took myself out of the present moment. And effective learning (and living) is all about being present.
Gianluca’s words – “Put the dictionary down!” – hit home. That evening, I put my pocket dictionary away and gave up on trying to master Italian in a day. I took the pressure off myself and relaxed into the experience.
Soon after, I asked my host mother Rosa if I could join a local exercise class. I knew that movement always made me feel better. It relaxed me. I was so happy when Mamma Rosa agreed.
At this class, I’d slip on some special socks over my shoes and slide from side to side on a slippery mat (a slide board).
I took this crazy exercise class with a bunch of middle-aged Italian women wearing spandex and leg warmers (it was Winter). Occasionally, someone would lose control on their slide board and fall to the ground.
For 60 minutes, I was able to get out of my head and get grounded in my body. This exercise class, as strange as it was, made all the difference. It relieved my anxiety and fears straightaway. It calmed my mind and made me feel like I was doing okay.
Ironically, once I felt calmer and less pressured to ‘learn Italian’, I started to pick things up. Learning the language became easier and easier. It didn’t happen in an instant. But it was happening. Slowly but surely, my language skills improved.
When I came back to Australia, I hadn’t mastered Italian (can you ever really master anything?), but I could hold a solid conversation with my nonna in Australia.
The whole student exchange experience fundamentally changed me. I learnt so much more than just Italian.
I learnt the power of a good nap after lunch (strictly enforced by my host mother), the importance of connection and community, and that if you’re having pasta, you must mop up the last bit of sauce with some bread (this Italian tradition is called ‘scarpetta’).
But I also learned not to try so hard. Instead of rushing to get to a specific destination, it’s okay to just explore, learn, and grow at your own pace.
“Mappa ferr Spinazzola-Barletta” (Used in Image 1) by Arbalete is licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0
I was the kid who was always late for school. I’d forget things. I’d lose my stuff. I’d regularly have to check the grimy lost property bin.
When I was younger, I admired people who were organised. Seeing someone with colour-coded files, a neatly arranged bag, and a tidy bedroom was inspiring.
I figured I was just wired differently. Being messy was just how I was—a simple fact of life. My boyfriend (now my husband) even affectionately nicknamed me Mess Pot.
It never dawned on me that perhaps these ‘organised’ people I was so in awe of had been exposed to other organised people and practices from a young age.
It wasn’t until I was in my early twenties that the penny finally dropped.
Here’s what I realised . . .
No one pops out of the womb knowing how to be organised.
If you know how to learn, you can learn how to become organised. It’s not rocket science.
So, that’s exactly what I did.
Over the past 15 years, I’ve taught myself to be organised.
I’ve read many books on the topic, from Marie Kondo’s bestseller The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up to David Allen’s Getting Things Done.
I’ve experimented with numerous organisational methods, systems and strategies that the authors promised would transform my life from chaos to freedom, control, and ease.
In this article, I share what I’ve learnt from all these books, organisational gurus, and personal experiments I’ve conducted to become organised. I hope this inspires you to develop your own systems and strategies that work for you.
You can follow other people’s systems and methods, but I’ve discovered that it’s best to develop your own organisational system. The organisational system you adopt must align with your values and goals. If it doesn’t, abandon it or tweak it until it feels right for you.
For instance, I love books, and I own many. This is why I yelped out in pain when I read Marie Kondo’s advice on how to deal with books.
In her book The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up, Kondo advises readers to rip out relevant pages from reference books and discard the rest of the book. There was simply no way I would do that to my precious books!
Central to her KonMari method is holding an object in both hands and feeling the emotion that arises.
If the object sparks joy? You keep it.
If there is no joy? You get rid of it.
I can see how this strategy has enormous appeal. It simplifies the decluttering process. You don’t have to think too hard. But there are dangers in the spark joy approach.
You can end up on a consumer treadmill of discarding items that no longer spark joy and constantly acquiring new ones that do. However, you can bet that the joy will soon dissipate from those new items as you habituate to them.
In addition, this ‘Spark Joy’ strategy also overlooks the functional role of many items in our lives.
My toilet plunger doesn’t exactly spark joy, but it’s incredibly useful when I need it!
The point is you need to trust yourself. Don’t give all your power away to a stylish organisational guru with a cult following and a Netflix series!
Trial and error is the key to getting your organisational groove on. And patience.
Your life won’t be transformed in a day or a week. You have to trust that the solutions will come, but it will take time.
This may sound a bit woo-woo and new age. So, let me frame it another way . . .
On your journey to become organised, pretend to be a scientist. Run some personal experiments.
In the book Tiny Experiments, Anne-Laure Le Cunff encourages us to come up with a research question and then turn it into a hypothesis. She states:
“Don’t overthink it. Formulating a hypothesis is an intuitive process based on your past experiences and present inclinations. It should simply be an idea you want to put to the test- an inkling of an answer to your research question.
If you observed that you dread giving presentations, maybe improv classes could help build your confidence. If you feel anxious in the morning, maybe meditation could help regulate your emotions. If you enjoy graphic design, maybe freelancing could help strengthen your portfolio.”
Don’t be put off by this scientific language (e.g., ‘Hypothesis’ and ‘research question’). Running a tiny experiment and formulating a hypothesis is easy.
Here’s an example from my own life . . .
I’ve noticed that when clutter piles up on my desk, I am more easily distracted and feel overwhelmed. So, I came up with the following research question:
“How can I decrease feelings of overwhelm and increase my ability to focus when I’m at my desk?”
My hypothesis to this question was:
“Decluttering my desk by removing all non-essential items will decrease feelings of overwhelm and increase my ability to focus on the task at hand.”
Then, I put this idea to the test and observed what happened.
Some experiments you run will work. Others will flop, but that’s okay. The point is you won’t know unless you run some tiny experiments.
As Anne-Laure Le Cunff states:
“Once you have a hypothesis, you can design an experiment and turn your life into a giant laboratory for self-discovery.”
Through running tiny experiments, I’ve come to realise that being organised isn’t about having a beautifully colour-coordinated filing system or a nicely decorated home.
It’s also not about following 10 simple steps and waking up one day to find that you’ve magically become an organised person.
In our materialistic culture, we are sold a particular idea and image of what it means to be organised. But I’m not buying it. And you shouldn’t either. Why? Because it’s a lie designed to make us feel bad about ourselves, so we buy more stuff!
In stark contrast to the slick images you see online and in glossy magazines, life is messy. It’s a constant struggle.
Purchasing pretty storage containers and having a tidy, organised home won’t make your life less messy and uncertain.
But I can say this: being organised will make it easier to navigate the mess and chaos of life. It will help you focus your time, energy, and attention on what matters most to you.
So, I’m suggesting that you block the influencers and ads from your feed and burn the home lifestyle magazines. You’re going to create your own personal philosophy for organised living.
Being organised is about helping my day go a little more smoothly.
It’s about removing friction and resistance between me and the tasks I need to do. When I’m organised I can easily find what I need, which allows me to dive into my projects: filming that video, cooking that new recipe for dinner, and mind mapping that book I’ve just read.
Being organised is a way to enjoy the present moment more. Instead of feeling overwhelmed by mess and clutter, I feel calm and grounded. It’s easier to focus on the task at hand.
Is it worth taking the time to become more organised and experiment with your own systems and strategies?
Yes. 100%.
Being organised has decreased my stress levels and boosted my confidence. It has also saved me a significant amount of time and energy.
I’ve found that developing a few guiding principles helps ground you in your quest to become organised.
Below, I share my guiding principles and how I’ve integrated each one into my life.
I’m not here to tell you to copy what I do (it’s best to develop your own philosophy, guiding principles, systems, and strategies). However, if you’re unsure where to start, feel free to experiment with the systems and strategies listed below.
Give every item a home. Everything should have a special place in your space.
Professional chefs do this. Before they start cooking a dish, they prepare the ingredients and take out the kitchen utensils they need. There’s a term for this practice. It’s called the mise en place.
Mise en place is a French term that literally translates to ‘putting in place’, but it means a place for everything and everything in its place.
When it comes time for a chef to start cooking a dish, they know where the ingredients and kitchen utensils are. This allows the chef to work efficiently and focus on the task at hand: cooking the dish.
In the book Work Clean, Dan Charnas explains how this concept can be applied outside the kitchen to our everyday lives.
Charnas encourages us to arrange our spaces to remove resistance. He states:
“The less friction we have in our work, the easier it is to do, the more we can do, and the quicker we can do it; and thus the more physical and mental energies we can preserve for other things.”
Mise en place changed my life for the better. I used to spend a lot of physical and mental energy trying to find my keys, wallet, etc., but not anymore.
I now have a designated spot for my keys, hat, wallet, and bag. After using these items, I return them to their special place.
With the mise en place, I no longer waste time searching for items. I can quickly and easily find what I need. You can read more about how I apply mise en place to my life here.
If something is important, I can’t have it stuffed away in a cupboard, drawer, or file. If it’s hidden away, it doesn’t exist.
This is why you’ll see vertical wall hangers in most rooms of my house. These hangers contain key items I frequently use in the space.
By having one item per pouch, I can easily find what I need when I need it.
I get easily overwhelmed by piles of stuff, so I have to be vigilant and stay on top of the mess.
I have a simple trick for keeping my space relatively tidy. I tell myself:
“All I need to do is put away three things. That’s it!”
The sink is overflowing with dishes? I tell myself, “Just do three dishes!”
Laundry is scattered all over the bed? “Just put away three pieces of clothing!”
The kitchen bench is covered in random stuff? “Put away three spices!”
Putting away three items feels easy. And when something feels easy, I’m more likely to get started.
When everything has its special place (see Principle #1: Embrace mise en place), it’s easy to implement this principle.
There’s nothing more frustrating than having a brilliant idea and having no way to capture it. You need to be able to catch thoughts as they occur.
This is why I have whiteboards, markers, pads of paper, and pens placed in key locations.
These random ideas that I capture get thrown into my in-tray to process later on.
Distractions keep you from doing what you need to do. Like a pile of clutter on your desk or boxes obstructing your entryway, distractions are a barrier to your goals and intentions.
If you want to be more organised, you need to deal with anything that could distract you before sitting down to do your work.
Like most people, the biggest distraction I face is my phone.
If I’m constantly checking my phone, I feel scattered, frenzied, and overwhelmed. Everything speeds up. I start to feel like I’m spinning out of control.
I know I have to avoid this mental state at all costs if I want to have any chance of having a productive, enjoyable day.
This is why I have a morning ritual of placing my phone in pocket 1 of my vertical wall hanger in my dining room (well away from my workspace) before I start my workday. Out of sight is out of mind.
I used to feel intimidated by the idea of planning, so I rarely planned my week or day.
But over the past few years, I’ve become a planning machine. Why? Because plans are powerful. Even rubbish plans work wonders!
As Ned Brockman says, plans “help make you less anxious about the howling chaos of modern life.”
Here’s how I create my ‘rubbish’ plans for the week and day:
At the end of every week (on a Sunday), I create a plan for the week ahead.
I do this by reflecting on the week I’ve just had (What did I do this week? Can I claim any wins? Are there any unfinished tasks or people I need to get back to?) and looking at the week ahead (What do I need to do this week?).
I write out all the major to-dos for the next seven days on a list.
This list usually overwhelms me (there’s always a lot to do!). To combat this feeling of overwhelm, I transfer a few tasks from the list to an index card. This is my daily card (the to-do list for the day).
As I complete each task, I mark it off my daily card. As I see more items being marked off, it builds positive momentum and a sense of progress and satisfaction.
I use a paper-based planner and a massive year-in-a-glance calendar to help me keep track of my commitments.
When I can see how many days I have before an important presentation or my next holiday, I feel calmer and more in control.
Using planners also frees up precious mental space for learning as you’re not trying to hold so much information in your working memory.
I’m far from being a minimalist. I love my stuff. But having too much can be overwhelming. More stuff means more things to manage, making it harder to stay organised.
As someone who loves to op-shop, I frequently have to remind myself of the following quote by William Morriss:
“Have nothing in your house which you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful.”
Every few months, I’ll collect some items to donate to my local op-shop. Reducing my possessions makes cleaning and organising a lot easier and quicker.
It’s important to remember why you are striving to be organised in the first place. It’s not to impress other people. You are doing this for you.
Being organised helps you pursue your goals and live in accordance with your values. You have to keep your goals front and centre of your mind; otherwise, the goal of being organised can dominate your life. Organising can become a form of procrastination.
This is why I keep coming back to my values and goals (which I have captured on a mind map). This reminds me that being organised helps me to live a good life. But it’s not the point of my life. There are more important things I want to do with my time, energy and attention.
That said, it’s hard to focus on and work towards my goals if I’m completely disorganised. I lose sight of them! You need to find a healthy balance.
If you want to be more organised, I encourage you to experiment with developing systems and strategies that work for you. Come up with an organisational philosophy and set of guiding principles that align with your values.
Why not treat your life as a laboratory and run some tiny experiments to become organised?
Through trial and error, you’ll discover what works and what doesn’t.
Remember, this isn’t about having a perfectly decorated home or trying to impress others. The point of being organised is to allow you to do the things you want to do without as much friction. It’s about living a good life.
Procrastination feels heavy.
But what if we could turn combating procrastination into a fun game?
Lately, when I catch myself avoiding a task, I’ll play a little game to see if I can get myself to move in the right direction.
I’ve discovered that it’s best to approach any task with a curious and playful mindset. If you take yourself too seriously, all the joy and fun can get stripped from the process.
Often, when I play this game, I surprise myself because the strategy works! I’ll be off and running with a task I procrastinated on for days.
But sometimes a strategy won’t work. That’s okay. When this happens, I usually take a little break before trying another approach.
I don’t claim to be a grandmaster at playing the game of combating procrastination. But these days, I can catch myself when procrastinating, notice the warning signs, and get moving in the right direction.
In this blog, I share how you can combat procrastination in a fun and playful way to fulfil your intentions and accomplish your goals.
Are you ready to play?
Let’s begin!
If you want to play this game of combating procrastination, you first need to understand what procrastination is and the rules of the game.
I recommend you play this game on your own so you’re not competing against anyone else. There’s no first or second place, no runners-up, and no one wins a trophy.
You can play with others, but it’s a collaborative game where you cheer each other on and gently coach each other into action.
It’s also a game that never ends because the work never ends. You are constantly learning and growing.
In her book ‘Procrastination: What it is, why it’s a problem and what you can do about it’ Dr Fuschia Sirois defines procrastination as:
“ . . . a common self regulation problem involving the unnecessary and voluntary delay in the start or completion of important intended tasks despite the recognition that this delay may have negative consequences.”
In other words, procrastination is:
Delaying a task + you know you are causing your Future Self pain and suffering.
There are some simple rules you need to understand to combat procrastination. Once you cement these rules in your brain, life becomes easier. Instead of experiencing constant resistance, you discover ease and flow.
Difficult work tends to bring up unpleasant emotions, such as boredom, stress, anxiety, fear, and frustration.
Most of us don’t like experiencing these feelings, so to repair our mood, we procrastinate. We avoid work and engage in easier, more fun tasks (e.g., scrolling through social media).
At the heart of combating procrastination is allowing yourself to sit with unpleasant feelings and push past them. Resist the urge to run to your devices. If you can do this, that’s 80% of the battle.
Pushing through the discomfort and making a start is a significant milestone worth celebrating.
Often, we wait for the perfect time to start a task. But it’s an illusion that there is a perfect time.
The perfect time is right now, amid the messiness and chaos of life.
“But I’m not feeling motivated!” I hear you say.
That’s okay. Make a start regardless of how you feel because here’s the part most people don’t understand:
Motivation follows action
In other words, you have to get moving for motivation to show up.
There are many great strategies and tools that can help you get started with a task, even when your motivation levels are low.
Once you have a selection of strategies and tools and you’ve practised using them a few times, you will feel more confident in your ability to combat procrastination.
Here are a few of my favourite strategies and tools for getting started with my work:
Fear is a significant driver of procrastination: fear that you won’t be able to do it, fear of failure, and fear of the unknown.
When you move your body, you decrease fear and anxiety. Movement can also help to calm and focus your mind and boost positive emotions.
This is why I start my day with a 20-30 minute run on my treadmill. It bathes my brain in feel-good chemicals, makes me feel stronger, and prepares me for the challenging work I’m about to face.
When a task feels big and overwhelming, it’s easy to procrastinate. But can you do 10 minutes on the task?
When I set a timer for 10 minutes, my brain thinks, “I can do 10 minutes. Easy!”
My brain then knows the task (and the unpleasant feelings) won’t last forever. The worst-case scenario is I experience 10 minutes of mild to moderate discomfort. When the timer goes off, I have a way out. I can do something else.
But what usually happens is after 10 minutes, I realise the task isn’t as bad as I thought it would be. The motivation has kicked in, and I’m on a roll.
When struggling to write my PhD, I attended a workshop led by an academic coach. She encouraged me to “Write crap” (her words, not mine).
This helped me to get over the perfection hump and make a start.
Most (if not all) great works started as rough drafts. The problem is we don’t see those rough early versions. We only see the polished final product. This messes with our minds and can lead to perfectionist tendencies kicking in.
Embrace the first messy draft. Celebrate it! You have to do it to get to the good stuff.
In the book ‘Everything in its Place’, Dan Charnas recommends the ‘Slow-but-don’t-stop’ technique for doing things you don’t want to do.
Here’s how it works:
If you’re feeling resistance towards a task, start doing it, but move very slowly. Breathe into the discomfort. Take your time.
Charnas writes that as you use this technique:
“You’ll still hate it [the task] but your task has become a moving meditation or like a game.”
For example, I used this strategy on the weekend to sort my laundry. The first step was to pick up the basket full of clothes and place it on my bed. Then, I picked up one item at a time and put them into piles (e.g., socks, activewear, and undies). I then selected a pile of items (socks) and dealt with one item at a time.
I’d usually rush to fold my clothes and feel slightly annoyed by the whole process (“Ugh, what a chore!”), but this time, it felt different. It felt like a meditation. I felt calm and grounded as I folded my socks.
The beauty of this technique is that the work will still get done, but as Charnas points out, you don’t give up control. You still have forward momentum.
As the Mexican proverb goes:
“An ant on the move does more than a dozing ox.”
Are there things in your workspace that distract you? Is there anything that reminds you of more fun stuff you could be doing (e.g., a video game console or your phone)?
Please get rid of those things or make them harder to access.
My phone is my biggest distraction. This is why I keep it away from my body in another room whenever I need to do focused work.
I’m currently experimenting with Mel Robbin’s 5-Second Rule. The 5-Second Rule is simple:
The moment you have the instinct to do a task before your brain can come up with an excuse not to do it, you count backwards ‘5 . . . 4 . . . 3 . . . 2 . . . 1!’ and you do it.
In her book ‘The 5 Second Rule’ Robbins explains the psychology underpinning the strategy. She writes:
“The counting distracts you from your excuses and focuses your mind on moving in a new direction. When you physically move instead of stopping to think, your physiology changes and your mind falls in line . . . the Rule is (in the language of habit research) a “starting ritual” that activates the prefrontal cortex, helping to change your behavior.”
The ultimate way to combat procrastination is to create a habit or a ritual. You need something that signals to your brain it’s time to engage in a particular behaviour.
With habits, you don’t have to stop and think, “What do I need to do now?”. Habits are automatic. Your brain knows exactly what it needs to do, and you do it.
For example, I have a habit of running on my treadmill before I launch into my day. My brain knows that after I put on my gym clothes and shoes, I turn on my treadmill and hit the speed button to start my warm-up.
I carry these behaviours out even when I’m not in the mood to run. That’s the power of habits.
Then, I suggest you cut yourself some slack.
Forgive yourself for procrastinating, pick a strategy, and get moving.
Most of us don’t do this, though.
We bag ourselves out in an attempt to motivate ourselves. The problem is this rarely works.
Dr Sirois says that intense self-criticism leads to negative thoughts, which lead to negative feelings. We end up feeling demotivated, which causes us to procrastinate even more!
You can stop the vicious cycle of procrastination by practising being kind to yourself.
If you follow these simple rules and be playful with experimenting with these strategies, you can get a better handle on procrastination.
Like anything in life, the key is practice. The more you practice allowing yourself to feel the unpleasant emotions instead of running from them, the better you’ll do. The more times you practice a strategy, the more natural it will feel and the sooner it will become a habit.
One foot in front of the other. You can do this.
Dr Jane Genovese delivers interactive and engaging study skills sessions for Australian secondary schools. She has worked with thousands of secondary students, parents, teachers and lifelong learners over the past 15 years.
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