The standards are ridiculously high.
All those perfect bodies, perfect meals, perfect smiles and perfectly decorated homes can make you feel lousy.
Could all these perfect images be messing with your brain?
Absolutely.
This why late last year I took the plunge and deleted all my social media accounts. All that social comparison (and the general toxic vibe) was getting me down. It may be getting you down, too.
You’ve probably seen the following optical illusion: The Muller-Lyer illusion
In this illusion lines of the same length appear to be different lengths. But they’re not. The lines are exactly the same length.
I love optical illusions because they show us how the human mind can play tricks on us. We are so sure we are right about something (“That line is longer!”) but it turns out, we’re wrong.
Social media presents us with a highly curated version of other people’s lives. You’re exposed to the very best bits. This distorts your perception of reality.
As Professor Dr Laurie Santos states:
“If you imagine people have a plot in their life of like things that are just kind of super boring, or bad, or to things that are awesome, people aren’t snap chatting this stuff [the super boring and bad stuff] unless it’s like really funny . . . they’re usually snap chatting this stuff [the awesome stuff], right?
So you’re not seeing the right distribution. But in your own life, you see the distribution. You look at other people’s Snapchats and you’re like, “Everybody else’s life is awesome and everybody else is like doing cool things that I’m not.”
It’s in our biology to trust what we see with your eyes. So we get easily fooled into believing the highlight reel on social media.
Behind the edited photos, we can’t see the other person’s struggles.
But unlike most of the people you follow on social media, you know yourself well. You know that your life is not all ponies, kittens and rainbows. Life is messy.
If I was to fill your social media feed with the thoughts and feelings of some of the students that I have worked with, here is what some status updates would say:
• “My teachers are talking too fast. I can’t keep up! #feelingstupid”
• “I find myself swinging from not eating at all to snacking excessively. What is wrong with me?”
• “I can’t sleep at night. I manage 1 to 2 hours max. I am sooooo tired.”
• “My maths teacher is a bully. She told me to start using the big brain that is inside my tiny head. My mental health is going down hill because of her.”
• “My ex-boyfriend is toxic. I have to see him everyday at school. Ugh. It’s awful.”
• “I can’t find part-time work. I need a job. No one wants to hire me. Why don’t they want me?”
• “I’m drowning in work. I don’t know how to study. I’m not sure I can do ATAR.”
• “Some boys were making jokes about my arms. They were saying I have hairy arms. So what did I do after school today? I shaved off all the hair on my arms.”
• “I keep failing OLNA. I can’t do maths. I think there must be something wrong with my brain. I need to get a diagnosis.”
• “On my first day of school I felt sick and I threw up before going to school. I felt so sick and anxious when I arrived at class. . . I really wanted to make a good first impression on my first day but I feel like I blew it.”
• “Now I’m in year 11 and things are more serious. I have to think about my future . . . it’s a bit scary because I have no idea what I want to do.”
When I talk to students, I can often see the worried look in their eyes. Their eyes say . . .
“What the hell is wrong with me?”
But here’s what I want to say to these students . . .
“There is nothing wrong with you. You’re perfectly fine. You’re doing just fine.”
The bottom line is this . . .
That doesn’t make you weird or defective. That just makes you human.
In the book Happy, Healthy Minds by the School of Life, the authors say the solution is simple:
I realise this sounds really harsh. But here’s what they mean by this . . .
We all do foolish things.
We all feel anxious and nervous from time to time.
We all bomb out on tests and assignments.
But that’s okay!
Remember, you are human.
Accepting you’re an idiot (just like everyone else) should give you some freedom to try new things. Next time things don’t quite turn out, you’re less likely to beat yourself up. You can practice a little self compassion.
The School of Life also says it’s important to remember this . . .
“ Every so often, things will go right: we make a friend, we get a part in the play, we learn a language . . . “
In short, life doesn’t have to be perfect to be good.
So embrace your quirks. Accept you’ll make mistakes. And please, go easy on yourself.
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When you feel slightly bored, do you feel a reflexive, gravitational pull to check your phone?
If you spend hours each day clicking, scrolling, and posting, I want you to know that it’s not your fault.
It’s not that your weak willed, lacking discipline, or a lazy person.
It’s none of these things.
It’s no mystery or secret why so many people waste so much time on social media. Like a poker machine, these platforms are designed to be highly addictive.
Apps like TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, SnapChat, X (formerly Twitter) and YouTube contain persuasive design features that hijack your most valuable and precious resources: your time, energy, and attention.
Because the more time we spend on their apps, the more data they can extract and sell for social influence.
The business model of Big Tech companies is simple: Keep people glued to their platforms for as many hours a day as possible.
In other words, your time and attention equal massive profits for these companies.
In his excellent book The Anxious Generation, social psychologist Dr Jonathan Haidt presents data showing teens aged 13-18 spend an average of six to eight hours every day on social media apps. That’s close to 50 hours a week.
Dr Haidt notes that this is just the time spent on the app. It doesn’t factor in the time spent thinking about social media while they multitask in the real world.
So, that’s 50+ hours that could have been spent outside in nature, learning a language, working a part-time (or full-time) job, making art, cooking, exercising, getting more sleep, and hanging out with friends.
Let’s also not forget that these apps intervere with and harm our wellbeing and ability to think and learn.
The multi-tasking that takes place as we engage with these apps throughout the day drains our brainpower, weakens our memory, and makes us tense and anxious.
The social comparisons we engage in on these platforms also warps our perception of reality and leaves us feeling like we’re not enough.
So, here’s something to consider . . .
It’s possible, and I’m going to show you how.
I recently discovered a simple tool that helps people stop mindlessly consuming social media and other addictive apps.
It’s an app called one sec.
one sec is a self-nudging tool that helps you to create barriers to Big Tech that align with your goals and values.
As you open up an addictive app, one sec intervenes by creating a 10-second delay in opening the app.
one sec creates the little bit of friction needed to make you pause and reconsider your behaviour.
After the delay, one sec presents you with a choice: Do you want to proceed with opening up the target app (e.g., TikTok)? Or close the app and do something else?
The creators of one sec explain it works by utilising three intervention strategies:
It’s important to highlight that you’re in control of the whole experience. You specify what apps you want one sec to target. You can also modify the time delay (making it shorter or longer) and change the deliberate messaging.
Or is it just another gimmicky product that fails to change your behaviour in a significant way?
I’ve been experimenting with this app for the last month, and I’m pleased to say it’s working for me!
Even though I don’t have social media and the wicked algorithms that come with them, I recently noticed that I was spending far too much time in group chats.
one sec has helped me be more intentional and deliberate with how I engage with these chat groups.
Instead of mindlessly checking these apps whenever I have time to kill, I now have dedicated periods when I engage with them. I’m following Dr Faye Begeti’s advice when she recommends in her book The Phone Fix to “Set a finite number of times for checking social media, condensing a large number of short checks into defined, longer ones.”
This is what one sec has helped me to do, and as a result, my focus and well-being have improved. I feel calmer. My days feel longer and less frenetic.
But I realise I’m a sample size of one. Plus, I’m highly motivated to reduce my time on addictive apps.
The short answer is yes.
This research study found the app one sec helped people to significantly decrease their social media consumption.
In this study, 280 participants used the one sec app for a six-week period. Here’s what the researchers found:
36% of the time participants attempted to open a target app, they chose to close the app using one sec (i.e., they did not proceed with using the target app).
Over time, participants also opened the target apps less.
Opening problematic apps less or choosing to close problematic apps before engaging with them is actually a really big deal. Here’s why . . .
Less engagement with these addictive apps means less hits of dopamine.
Every quick and easy hit of dopamine you get from social media leads you to crave more stimulation from these apps. Before you know it, you’re in a full blown dopamine driven feedback loop.
Whenever I’m stuck in a dopamine loop, I’m not #livingmybestlife. Far from it! I feel overstimulated, chaotic, and jittery. Here’s why . . .
In his book How to Calm Your Mind, Chris Bailey explains that the brain networks for dopamine and calm are anti-correlated.
What does this mean?
It means when the dopamine network is activated, the calm network isn’t.
Imagine every time you mindlessly reach for your phone to check social media, you’re moving further and further away from a state of calm.
This may explain why participants in the one sec study reported experiencing increased satisfaction and happiness after decreasing their consumption of problematic apps.
The main intervention features (i.e., the time delay and option to not proceed with the target app) will help you decrease your consumption of addictive apps.
But there are many other features available with this app.
As you explore the additional features, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. There’s a lot of extra bells and whistles. For example, there is the “Don’t get lost” notifications (i.e., scheduled reminders to close the target app when you are using it) and website blocking.
But like a lot of things in life, more features don’t necessarily result in a better user experience.
Ultimately, I decided to follow BJ Fogg’s behaviour design principle of ‘Simplicity changes behaviour’. I stuck with using just the basic features of this app.
I knew if I overcomplicated the app, I probably wouldn’t use it.
All that being said, there were two additional features I incorporated:
I use the strict block feature every day. To be clear, the strict block feature is not to be confused with the basic block feature. What’s the difference?
If you select a basic block, you’re not really blocking yourself from the app. But there’s a barrier in place. If you try to open the target app, it brings up the following message:
“Be honest with yourself. Do you really want to stop this block?”
Whereas a strict block is a genuine bona fide block. You cannot use your target apps until the block is over.
If you have developed a mindless habit of reaching for your phone and checking certain apps, you need a strict block in place until your brain has had a chance to recalibrate itself.
Here is the tiny habit I created to give my brain a chance to rewire to lower hit of dopamine from my smartphone:
After I pick up my phone in the morning, I will open one sec and press strict block for six hours.
Activating a strict block means I’m in charge for the first six hours of my day (and the addictive apps are not running the show). This sets the tone for the day and puts me in proactive mode rather than chasing quick hits of dopamine. It also helps me stay calm and grounded.
A word of warning:
Even when you feel like you have regained control over your target apps, you must remain vigilant. It’s super easy to get drawn back into a dopamine-driven feedback loop.
The journal prompt is simple and effective. Before accessing the target apps, I am prompted to write about what I have done and what I feel grateful for.
I write 25 words before proceeding to the target app. This gives me a moment to reflect, which is always a worthwhile practice.
There is a free version of one sec you can use, but it limits you to applying one sec to only one target app.
If you have multiple addictive apps on your phone (as most of us do), I recommend the paid version to unlock all the features.
It costs $25AUD for the year, which is value for money if you ask me. The app has already paid for itself in terms of the time, energy, and attention I’ve reclaimed.
I should mention that I had trouble initially installing one sec and getting it to work on the target apps. The process was a little finicky, and I nearly gave up after 20 minutes of trying to figure out how to get the app to work.
You can find similar intervention apps that are free and easier to install, such as ScreenZen. ScreenZen appears to be based on similar mechanisms (i.e., introducing a time delay and friction to the target app).
My brother recently started using ScreenZen to help combat his mindless habit of scrolling through social media. When I asked for his thoughts on this self-nudging app, he said, “It’s annoying.” But then he quickly added, “But that’s the point. It’s annoying, and that’s why you use the apps less.”
Another great feature of ScreenZen is that after spending seven minutes on the target app, it puts a stopping mechanism in place by prompting you to think about if you want to keep using the app.
I don’t think anyone consciously sets a goal to spend 20, 30, or 50+ hours a week on social media. But if you don’t have strategies to combat the addictive apps on your phone, one thing is certain: Big Tech companies will hijack your time, energy, and attention.
As Michael Harris states in his book The End of Absence:
“Never forget that you live in an ecosystem designed to disrupt you, and it will take you for a ride if you let it.”
So, don’t be taken for a ride. You can easily access self-nudging tools, such as one sec and ScreenZen, to help you defend your time, energy, and attention.
Think of the things you’ve always wanted to do but tell yourself, “I don’t have the time. I’m too busy”. What if you could reclaim a significant chunk of time to do those things today? Would it be worth taking a chance on a self-nudging app?
You’ve got nothing to lose except potentially $25.
I encourage you to test out one of these apps to protect your most precious resources (i.e., your time, energy, and attention).
Note: In case you’re wondering, I have not been paid or sponsored by one sec to write this article.
Procrastination feels heavy.
But what if we could turn combating procrastination into a fun game?
Lately, when I catch myself avoiding a task, I’ll play a little game to see if I can get myself to move in the right direction.
I’ve discovered that it’s best to approach any task with a curious and playful mindset. If you take yourself too seriously, all the joy and fun can get stripped from the process.
Often, when I play this game, I surprise myself because the strategy works! I’ll be off and running with a task I procrastinated on for days.
But sometimes a strategy won’t work. That’s okay. When this happens, I usually take a little break before trying another approach.
I don’t claim to be a grandmaster at playing the game of combating procrastination. But these days, I can catch myself when procrastinating, notice the warning signs, and get moving in the right direction.
In this blog, I share how you can combat procrastination in a fun and playful way to fulfil your intentions and accomplish your goals.
Are you ready to play?
Let’s begin!
If you want to play this game of combating procrastination, you first need to understand what procrastination is and the rules of the game.
I recommend you play this game on your own so you’re not competing against anyone else. There’s no first or second place, no runners-up, and no one wins a trophy.
You can play with others, but it’s a collaborative game where you cheer each other on and gently coach each other into action.
It’s also a game that never ends because the work never ends. You are constantly learning and growing.
In her book ‘Procrastination: What it is, why it’s a problem and what you can do about it’ Dr Fuschia Sirois defines procrastination as:
“ . . . a common self regulation problem involving the unnecessary and voluntary delay in the start or completion of important intended tasks despite the recognition that this delay may have negative consequences.”
In other words, procrastination is:
Delaying a task + you know you are causing your Future Self pain and suffering.
There are some simple rules you need to understand to combat procrastination. Once you cement these rules in your brain, life becomes easier. Instead of experiencing constant resistance, you discover ease and flow.
Difficult work tends to bring up unpleasant emotions, such as boredom, stress, anxiety, fear, and frustration.
Most of us don’t like experiencing these feelings, so to repair our mood, we procrastinate. We avoid work and engage in easier, more fun tasks (e.g., scrolling through social media).
At the heart of combating procrastination is allowing yourself to sit with unpleasant feelings and push past them. Resist the urge to run to your devices. If you can do this, that’s 80% of the battle.
Pushing through the discomfort and making a start is a significant milestone worth celebrating.
Often, we wait for the perfect time to start a task. But it’s an illusion that there is a perfect time.
The perfect time is right now, amid the messiness and chaos of life.
“But I’m not feeling motivated!” I hear you say.
That’s okay. Make a start regardless of how you feel because here’s the part most people don’t understand:
Motivation follows action
In other words, you have to get moving for motivation to show up.
There are many great strategies and tools that can help you get started with a task, even when your motivation levels are low.
Once you have a selection of strategies and tools and you’ve practised using them a few times, you will feel more confident in your ability to combat procrastination.
Here are a few of my favourite strategies and tools for getting started with my work:
Fear is a significant driver of procrastination: fear that you won’t be able to do it, fear of failure, and fear of the unknown.
When you move your body, you decrease fear and anxiety. Movement can also help to calm and focus your mind and boost positive emotions.
This is why I start my day with a 20-30 minute run on my treadmill. It bathes my brain in feel-good chemicals, makes me feel stronger, and prepares me for the challenging work I’m about to face.
When a task feels big and overwhelming, it’s easy to procrastinate. But can you do 10 minutes on the task?
When I set a timer for 10 minutes, my brain thinks, “I can do 10 minutes. Easy!”
My brain then knows the task (and the unpleasant feelings) won’t last forever. The worst-case scenario is I experience 10 minutes of mild to moderate discomfort. When the timer goes off, I have a way out. I can do something else.
But what usually happens is after 10 minutes, I realise the task isn’t as bad as I thought it would be. The motivation has kicked in, and I’m on a roll.
When struggling to write my PhD, I attended a workshop led by an academic coach. She encouraged me to “Write crap” (her words, not mine).
This helped me to get over the perfection hump and make a start.
Most (if not all) great works started as rough drafts. The problem is we don’t see those rough early versions. We only see the polished final product. This messes with our minds and can lead to perfectionist tendencies kicking in.
Embrace the first messy draft. Celebrate it! You have to do it to get to the good stuff.
In the book ‘Everything in its Place’, Dan Charnas recommends the ‘Slow-but-don’t-stop’ technique for doing things you don’t want to do.
Here’s how it works:
If you’re feeling resistance towards a task, start doing it, but move very slowly. Breathe into the discomfort. Take your time.
Charnas writes that as you use this technique:
“You’ll still hate it [the task] but your task has become a moving meditation or like a game.”
For example, I used this strategy on the weekend to sort my laundry. The first step was to pick up the basket full of clothes and place it on my bed. Then, I picked up one item at a time and put them into piles (e.g., socks, activewear, and undies). I then selected a pile of items (socks) and dealt with one item at a time.
I’d usually rush to fold my clothes and feel slightly annoyed by the whole process (“Ugh, what a chore!”), but this time, it felt different. It felt like a meditation. I felt calm and grounded as I folded my socks.
The beauty of this technique is that the work will still get done, but as Charnas points out, you don’t give up control. You still have forward momentum.
As the Mexican proverb goes:
“An ant on the move does more than a dozing ox.”
Are there things in your workspace that distract you? Is there anything that reminds you of more fun stuff you could be doing (e.g., a video game console or your phone)?
Please get rid of those things or make them harder to access.
My phone is my biggest distraction. This is why I keep it away from my body in another room whenever I need to do focused work.
I’m currently experimenting with Mel Robbin’s 5-Second Rule. The 5-Second Rule is simple:
The moment you have the instinct to do a task before your brain can come up with an excuse not to do it, you count backwards ‘5 . . . 4 . . . 3 . . . 2 . . . 1!’ and you do it.
In her book ‘The 5 Second Rule’ Robbins explains the psychology underpinning the strategy. She writes:
“The counting distracts you from your excuses and focuses your mind on moving in a new direction. When you physically move instead of stopping to think, your physiology changes and your mind falls in line . . . the Rule is (in the language of habit research) a “starting ritual” that activates the prefrontal cortex, helping to change your behavior.”
The ultimate way to combat procrastination is to create a habit or a ritual. You need something that signals to your brain it’s time to engage in a particular behaviour.
With habits, you don’t have to stop and think, “What do I need to do now?”. Habits are automatic. Your brain knows exactly what it needs to do, and you do it.
For example, I have a habit of running on my treadmill before I launch into my day. My brain knows that after I put on my gym clothes and shoes, I turn on my treadmill and hit the speed button to start my warm-up.
I carry these behaviours out even when I’m not in the mood to run. That’s the power of habits.
Then, I suggest you cut yourself some slack.
Forgive yourself for procrastinating, pick a strategy, and get moving.
Most of us don’t do this, though.
We bag ourselves out in an attempt to motivate ourselves. The problem is this rarely works.
Dr Sirois says that intense self-criticism leads to negative thoughts, which lead to negative feelings. We end up feeling demotivated, which causes us to procrastinate even more!
You can stop the vicious cycle of procrastination by practising being kind to yourself.
If you follow these simple rules and be playful with experimenting with these strategies, you can get a better handle on procrastination.
Like anything in life, the key is practice. The more you practice allowing yourself to feel the unpleasant emotions instead of running from them, the better you’ll do. The more times you practice a strategy, the more natural it will feel and the sooner it will become a habit.
One foot in front of the other. You can do this.
If I’m honest with myself, there was a time when technology was doing me more harm than good.
On Facebook, I frequently fell into the comparison trap (comparing myself to people who had posted delicious dinners, amazing holiday photos, etc).
On Twitter, I’d get baited by trolls (and I’d foolishly take the bait).
Throughout the day, I’d constantly check my phone and email, which left me feeling jittery and chaotic.
Big Tech was constantly hijacking my time, energy, and attention. Every time I retreated to my devices for a quick shot of dopamine, I moved further away from my goals. I didn’t like this, and I knew something needed to change.
Over the past three years, I’ve implemented many practices to regain control of my time, energy, and attention (including deleting all social media).
These practices have made a big difference in my life. But I’m well aware that not everyone feels the same way I do about Big Tech, nor are they in a position to be able to delete all their accounts.
Following a school presentation, I spoke with a small group of year 8 students. I shared with them that I didn’t use any social media, to which a year 8 girl quickly chimed in:
“My grandma has Facebook. What’s your excuse?”
Her words struck me like a bolt of lightning. I didn’t know what to say.
It highlighted how adopting these apps is the norm for a young person.
When everyone else has a smartphone and is using social media (including your parents and grandparents), why would you question using them?
I couldn’t forget the year 8 girl’s words. While I appreciated her candidness, it left me slightly disturbed.
At the same time, it increased my motivation to resist Big Tech. I started searching for role models: people actively resisting Big tech and this hyperconnected, fast-paced way of life.
One community kept popping up in my research: the Amish.
The Amish are often portrayed as being technologically impaired. A classic example is Weird Al Yankovic’s music video Amish Paradise (a parody of Coolio’s mega-hit Gangsta’s Paradise).
In this video, Weird Al sings:
I never wear buttons but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I really look good in black, fool
If you come to visit, you’ll be bored to tears
We haven’t even paid the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain’t really quaint, so please don’t point and stare
We’re just technologically impairedThere’s no phone, no lights, no motorcar
Not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe
It’s as primitive as can be
While the Amish still mainly travel by horse and buggy and shun many modern technologies, such as televisions, radios, and cars, they are not ‘technologically impaired’ as Weird Al makes out.
When it comes to cultivating healthy digital habits, there is a lot we can learn from the Amish.
The Amish have a set of strategies that guide the adoption and use of different technologies. These strategies have allowed them to avoid being pawns for the goals of Big Tech companies, which make massive profits by seizing people’s attention.
I recently read a fascinating book called Virtually Amish, written by Dr Lindsay Ems. For her PhD research, Dr Ems spoke to Amish people about their relationship to modern technology (e.g., smartphones).
She argues that the Amish take control of their tech tools and thrive. Through adopting similar practices, we can thrive, too.
Below, I share how you can thrive by emulating Amish practices and beliefs around technology:
The Amish are not technophobes. They are ‘technoloselectives’.
They carefully consider the tech tools they’ll adopt and their functionality, tweaking them to help them achieve their goals.
The Amish don’t mindlessly purchase the latest gadgets and gizmos. Instead, they think about their values and goals and how the technology could cause unintended harm to themselves and the wider Amish community.
What are your goals?
Do your tech tools help you achieve them, or do they distract you from them?
The Amish are guided by their values (i.e., the things that are most important to them). Their values underpin everything they do.
So, what exactly do Amish people value?
• Community
• Connections with others
• Living a simple and slow-paced life
• Living a spiritually rich life
• Being self-sufficient
The Amish use these values to guide their adoption of technology.
An example of this can be seen with the arrival of the home telephone (not smartphone). Dr Ems shares how the Amish decided to ban the telephone from being inside the family home.
This ban came about after careful consideration and reflection on their values. The Amish value connections with family, friends, and the community. They don’t want to be the kind of person who interrupts a conversation by answering a telephone call. For this reason, telephones are located outside Amish family homes or nearby.
What are the things that are most important to you?
How does technology impact on those things?
Does it enrich those things or diminish them?
The Amish understand that technology can cause harm. Subsequently, they intentionally delay adopting new technology until they see its impact on others.
Does it destroy family life? Does it wreak havoc on their ability to pay attention and distract them from their spiritual life?
If so, the technology threatens their culture and religion, and for these reasons, it should be avoided.
Before adopting a piece of technology, the Amish need to be clear about two things:
1) The functionality of the technology (what it can do)
2) The potential social impacts of the technology
Once they deeply understand these things, it is then decided whether the technology is adopted or not.
It may come as no surprise that Amish people view the smartphone as an incredibly dangerous innovation. Many Amish communities have bans on this device.
How do you feel after spending time on social media?
Have you seen things posted on social media that weren’t true or were exaggerated?
When an Amish person wants to use a new technology, that technology will go through a formal decision-making process.
The community (in particular, the leaders) will consider the future with this technology. They’ll try to imagine how the technology could change their way of life.
Questions the Amish reflect on include:
• What are the advantages and disadvantages of the technology?
• What might come with it that we might not anticipate?
• Could someone get addicted to it?
• Is it a need or a want?
• Can the technology be restrained?
In her book Virtually Amish, Dr Ems provides the example of an Amish business owner asking the community leaders if he could have permission to use a label maker for his business.
After careful consideration, the leaders ruled label makers could be allowed for the following reasons:
• They are not addictive
• They can’t be used for recreational purposes (e.g., playing games or entertainment)
Think of a new technology (device or app) you want to adopt. Could it become addictive?
Many Amish people believe the issue is not whether you use a smartphone or social media but how you use it. It’s important that the Amish remain in control of their use of tech and place limits on it.
It’s also important that the technology is not visible (i.e., you don’t pull your smartphone out in Church or during a conversation). Being discrete in the way one uses technology shows respect for Amish values.
How do you use the tech in your life?
Are you in control of your use?
Amish people think about not just how they use the technology but what kind of person they become when they use it.
This point resonated with me deeply. I can’t say I’ve always liked who I become when I use certain technology.
A few years ago, I babysat my friends’ children when my friends went out for a kid-free meal. I look back and cringe when I think about how the experience unfolded.
Before going to my friend’s place to start babysitting, I got into a heated text discussion with some people in a group chat. Things were said that upset me.
For most of the night, I was on my phone, texting back and forth, not present with these young children. At one point, the little boy tugged on my arm to get my attention. “Aunty Jane, come play!” he said.
What can I say? I felt terrible. This certainly was not my finest moment. I had become the kind of caregiver I am usually quick to judge: distracted and disengaged.
I vowed to avoid trying to resolve issues by text and leave my phone at home next time to be fully present with the kids.
When you use social media, what sort of person do you become?
The Amish take modern tech tools and modify them to help them achieve their goals.
The plain mobile phone is an example of this. Amish people have created a mobile phone that can only make calls. It doesn’t have a camera, games, access to the Internet, or the ability to send text messages.
Similarly, the plain computer allows Amish to make spreadsheets, do word processing, and construct simple drawings. This allows them to complete tasks without being distracted by other things.
In other words, the Amish create what David Kadavy (author of Mind Management, Not Time Management) would refer to as sticky tools. A sticky tool allows you to stay focused on a task without getting distracted.
What sticky tools could you consider adopting (e.g., a basic flip phone and Internet blocker app)?
The Amish take pride in growing their own food, raising barns, baking their own bread, tinkering with robotics, inventing, and making their own clothes. They are not big consumers, but they embrace a simple lifestyle and encourage human creativity.
In the modern non-Amish world, many of us are doing the polar opposite of this. We have fallen into the trap of consuming content mindlessly online (e.g., watching people bake bread instead of baking our own bread).
Don’t get me wrong—the Internet is an excellent learning tool to help us build our skills. I have turned to YouTube for many instructional videos on how to make and fix things. But doing this requires discipline because it is all too easy to get derailed by other distracting videos.
The bottom line is this: the more time we spend online, the more ads we are likely exposed to and the more our consumptive desires are stirred up. Is it any wonder so many people feel so dissatisfied with their lives?
Instead of mindlessly consuming, what can you create today?
The Amish embrace tech with inbuilt friction. In fact, inconvenience is considered a virtue.
Dr Ems shares that many Amish technologies intentionally contain ‘speed bumps’ and ‘friction’. The reason for this friction is to prevent Amish people from wasting time on the device.
I’ve found this is one of the positives associated with using a ‘basic phone’.
Last year, I experimented with using a basic flip phone with limited functionality (I could only make calls and send texts). Texting on this phone was so painfully slow that it made me want to avoid getting into long text discussions with people. It was easier to pick up the phone and call people.
Using a smartphone to text your friends may be easier than making a phone call, but as the Amish strongly believe, easier is not always better.
How can you build friction into your tech use?
Can you embrace analog alternatives to decrease your screen time?
How much control do you have over your time, energy, and attention? As Chris Bailey writes in his book How to Calm Your Mind, “On the Internet, our intentions very quickly slip from our grasp.”
If you want to thrive online and offline, consider adopting some of the tech habits of the Amish. By limiting their tech use, the Amish have been able to remain mentally free and protect their way of life.
If more of us adopted Amish tech practices (e.g., being intentional with our tech use and placing limits on it), we’d most likely feel calmer and less anxious. We’d also spend more time engaged in activities that bring us joy and are aligned with what we value.
Dr Jane Genovese delivers interactive and engaging study skills sessions for Australian secondary schools. She has worked with thousands of secondary students, parents, teachers and lifelong learners over the past 15 years.
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