I used to spend a lot of time on the road driving from school to school.
While I always kept an eye on the amount of petrol in the tank, I also needed to pay close attention to my own personal energy levels.
It was important to avoid pushing myself past empty and depleting my energy reserves because if I did, I would end up feeling emotionally wrecked.
I clearly remember one day when I pushed myself too hard. Looking back, it seems comical now. But I wasn’t laughing at the time.
It was my 24th birthday. I had woken up that morning with great intentions, thinking “It’s my birthday! Let’s make it a great day!”
I was trying too hard to make it a “great day”. I was forcing it, and perhaps that’s partly why everything went pear-shaped. Here’s what happened . . .
I had a school presentation later that day, so I spent the morning preparing for it before driving over an hour to deliver the presentation.
The time slot for the talk wasn’t ideal—my talk was scheduled for the last period on a Friday afternoon—but I was thinking, “Hey! It’s my birthday. Let’s make it a great day!”
What can I say?
The session didn’t go well.
There were IT issues and the students’ minds were elsewhere. But you couldn’t blame the students. They were tired and I was the only thing standing between them and the weekend.
When I wrapped up the session, I felt tired and hungry.
But I foolishly ignored my body’s needs. On an empty stomach, I began the long drive home. I was desperate to get back and be in my own space.
Within 10 minutes, I found myself stuck in peak-hour traffic. But I wasn’t just stuck in traffic; I was also stuck in an anxiety loop.
Psychologist Risa Williams explains an anxiety loop as “a negative thought cycle that makes you feel stuck in a rut”. You can’t rationalise your way out of an anxiety loop. Logic doesn’t cut it.
I kept thinking about how the talk could have gone better, why my birthday had been such a flop . . . these annoying tunes kept playing over and over in my mind and they kept getting louder and louder.
I was about halfway home when something unexpected happened: I began sobbing uncontrollably behind the wheel of my car. I just felt incredibly sad.
I realised it was dangerous to drive while crying, so I pulled over and called my mum.
My mum and I would chat on the phone most days, but I remember this conversation especially well because my mum didn’t pull any punches.
Here’s how the conversation went:
Mum: What’s wrong Jane? Why are you upset?
Me: It’s my birthday and I wanted to have a great day but I just feel so awful. Everything has gone wrong today. The day has been a total flop.
Mum: Jane, have you had anything to eat?
Me: No.
Mum: You’re hungry! I know what you’re like when you’re hungry. You need to find a place to eat.
Me: But there’s nothing healthy to eat around here . . . there are no healthy options.
Mum: I don’t care. Order something. Anything. You need to eat. Go do that right now!
I found a café that was still open (it was 3:30pm) and ordered a burger from the menu.
When the burger came out 10 minutes later, I felt emotionally wrecked.
But after eating that big, juicy burger, I felt instantly better.
A magical transformation had occurred, all thanks to a $15 burger.
The world now felt like a new and different place. I had strength again. With tear-free eyes, a calm mind, and more energy in my system, I got in my car and drove myself home safely.
That experience taught me an important lesson. I learnt I had to stop pushing myself past the point of empty (something I’d done far too often for too many years).
I had to start listening to my body and the signals it was sending me.
Feeling hungry? Have a healthy snack.
Tired? Take a quick nap.
Thirsty? Have a few sips of water.
Sitting for too long and in pain? Get up and move.
Eyes and brain hurting from staring at a screen for too long? Take a break and look out the window.
It also taught me how engaging in small behaviours (tiny habits) can significantly impact how you think and feel.
Here are some of my favourite tiny habits for healthy, calm, and grounded living :
- After I wake up, I will put on my gym clothes.
- After I put on my gym clothes, I will turn on my treadmill.
- After I step on my treadmill, I will move my body for a minimum of 20 minutes.
- After I shower, I will warm up my breakfast (overnight oats and berries).
- After I finish eating breakfast, I will sit down and do 5 minutes of meditation.
- After I finish meditating, I will write down three things I feel grateful for.
- When I feel mentally fatigued, I will step away from my work and go outside.
- After sitting for 25 minutes, I will walk on my treadmill for 5 minutes.
- When I find myself feeling sleepy, I will set a timer for 15 minutes and take a nap.
- When I find myself feeling flat, I will hit play on an upbeat song.
- After I complete a task, I will have a sip of water.
- When I notice I am feeling hungry, I will grab a piece of fruit.
- When I get my keys to leave the house, I will put on a n95 mask.
- When I see it’s past 8pm, I will plug my phone in to charge in another room and say out loud, “No more screens”.
- When I put my head on my pillow, I will pick up my notebook and write down three wins for the day.
All of these habits are designed to boost and conserve my energy. That’s the great thing about habits: they conserve your energy by automating your behaviour and combating decision fatigue. As Kevin Kelly states in his book Excellent Advice for Living:
“The purpose of a habit is to remove that action from self-negotiation. You no longer expend energy deciding whether to do it. You just do it.”
These 15 tiny habits are so deeply ingrained that I do all of them most days. I don’t waste time and energy thinking, “Should I go on the treadmill or stay in bed and read a book?” or “Do I do my gratitude practice or eat breakfast?” I have established a routine of healthy behaviours that work for me.
These tiny habits don’t take long to do, and best of all, they stop me from running out of energy and crashing. I also haven’t been sick in over three years (mainly due to Habit #13: Wearing a n95 mask).
You might be wondering why I’m still wearing a mask when covid restrictions have eased. There are a few reasons: I know several people with long covid (and they are suffering). Their quality of life is not what it once was.
I’ve also read a lot of the research on covid. Research shows covid can cause significant changes in brain structure and function.
This study found that people who had a mild covid infection showed cognitive decline equivalent to a three-point loss in IQ and reinfection resulted in an additional two-point loss in IQ.
Other studies have found covid can disrupt the blood brain barrier and cause inflammation of the brain. Since I rely on my brain to do everything, wearing a n95 mask (not a cloth or surgical mask) is a simple and effective habit I’m happy to keep up to protect my brain and body.
At the end of the day, cultivating healthy habits is about noticing the little (and big) things that make a difference and then experimenting with those things.
For example, Habit #3 (Moving on a treadmill first thing every morning) came about when I noticed the dramatic difference in how I felt on the days I ran on the treadmill compared to the days I didn’t (I felt mildly depressed on the days when I didn’t go for a run).
Habit #4 emerged after I noticed that eating a particular breakfast (overnight oats with berries) made me feel amazingly good compared to having a smoothie or a bowl of processed cereal for breakfast (which would spike my blood sugar levels).
Here’s how I see things . . .
Your health influences everything in life—and I mean absolutely everything. It influences how you interact with the people in your life, how well you learn and focus, your energy levels, and how you do your work.
As Robin Sharma explains in his book The Wealth Money Can’t Buy, health is a form of wealth.
Sharma writes:
“If you don’t feel good physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, all the money, possessions and fame in the world mean nothing. Lose your wellness (which I pray you never will) and I promise you that you’ll spend the rest of your days trying to get it back.”
One way you can build your wealth is by cultivating tiny healthy habits.
Final Thoughts
As I think back to my younger self, 24 years old and ignoring the warning signs my body was sending me, I can’t help but feel a bit embarrassed. But as Kevin Kelly says, “If you are not embarrassed by your past self, you have probably not grown up”.
I’ve grown up a lot. I’ve come to realise developing awareness and taking time out to step back and reflect are critical to living a healthy, grounded life. When you notice what makes you feel good and not so good, you can make tiny tweaks to improve your life.
If you aim to do more of the things that leave you feeling good and less of the things that leave you feeling depleted and fatigued, you can’t really go wrong.
In the words of Psychologist Dr Faith Harper, “Keeping our brains healthy and holding centre is a radical act of self-care”.
On that note, take a moment to check in with your body. What does it need right now? Could you do something small to treat your body and mind with a little more care? Step away from the screen and do it now.