Stress and the Teenage Brain (Part 1): The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

Stress and the teenage brain

Here’s a fact that may surprise you:

The average high school student today experiences the same level of anxiety as the average psychiatric patient of the 1950s.

Take a moment to let that sink in: teenagers who are now considered normal would have been referred for specialist treatment in the 1950s.

What’s causing teenagers to feel so anxious?

Professor of Psychology at San Diego State University Dr Jean Twenge believes the increase in mental health issues is due to how teenagers spend their time – on smartphones and social media. She states:

“Right when smartphones became common, and teens started spending less time face-to-face, their psychological well-being plummeted.”

screen time and mental health

It turns out the more time you spend in front of a screen and on social media, the more depressed and anxious you’re likely to feel. This article helps to explain why this is the case.

The problem with stress

Stress stops you from enjoying minutes, hours and days of your life. It also makes learning information incredibly difficult.

A stressed brain is like a computer that has been infected with a Trojan virus. It can’t process information efficiently. It runs really slowly and often freezes. Its systems have gone haywire.

stressed teenage brain

Studies show the build up of toxic stress in the brain can shorten our telomeres making us age faster and lead to the development of Alzheimer’s.

But let’s be clear, not all stress is the same …

There’s good stress and then there’s bad stress.

Good stress can help motivate you and propel you into action. It can make you mentally sharper and help you lift your game.

Bad stress is toxic stress that lingers in your brain and body. If not managed well, it can cause serious damage.

If you’re now thinking, That’s it! I’m dropping out of school and university. It’s just too stressful!, think again. Why? Because stress that lingers isn’t always harmful.

Neuroscientists Doctors Dean and Ayesha Sherzai (authors of The Alzheimer’s Solution) argue that we should welcome some forms of chronic stress. They state:

“Pursuing long-term goals towards an important milestone (getting an academic degree, for example, or changing a lifelong habit) can seem overwhelming, but this kind of purposeful action actually creates significant cognitive reserve (a measure of the brain’s resilience). The associated stress may in fact be chronic, but it fits your vision and purpose. The stress has both a direction and a timeline: you set the goal, and you’re in control.”

Here’s the critical factor when it comes to stress: you need to be the boss of it (i.e. in control and able to manage it).

But what if you’re not in control of your stress? What can this do to the developing teenage brain?

Neuroscientist Doctor Richard Restak (author of Think Smart) states:

“It [the adolescent brain] doesn’t manage stress very well. Typically stress in an adult brain causes a rise in cortisol levels (a measure of stress) followed by a gradual decrease over an hour or two.

In adolescents, that burst of cortisol hangs around a lot longer, resulting in sustained exposure of the brain to harmful effects, such as shrinkage of cells in the hippocampus (resulting in memory loss and depression) and the amygdala (resulting in anxiety and other overwhelming emotions).”

He goes onto state:

“This has important consequences because the hippocampus, the amygdala, and the prefrontal cortex are the three brain areas that undergo major changes during adolescence. If these brain areas are damaged by stress hormones, the effect can extend into adulthood …”

In short, stress that is poorly managed can mess with the growth and resilience of the teenage brain.

What can you do to combat toxic stress?

brain power
You need tools, hacks and strategies because toxic stress is an ugly beast. The good news is there is no shortage of effective strategies out there: meditation, walks in nature, avoiding multi-tasking, having time-out from technology (e.g. The Back to the 1950s technique), exercise, etc.

The challenge is to make stress management a top priority. Set aside some time each day to engage in activities that relax your body and brain. If you want to optimise your brainpower, it’s well worth spending the time to do this.

In the next blog post, I’ll share a range of different strategies to decrease and manage toxic stress in your life.

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McMind Mapping

Lately, I’ve been thinking more like an Amish person.

Before adopting any new technology, the Amish will carefully consider how the device or app could impact their values, community, and way of life.

In these times of rapid change, I believe this is a valuable practice for all of us.

I recently received an email from a company that had developed an AI mind-mapping tool.

The email included a special offer. If I blogged about this AI mind mapping tool, I’d receive a year’s free pro-subscription.

Look, I love free stuff. When I see the word ‘free’, something funny happens in my brain.

I come from a thrifty family who hate waste and excessive consumption. For as long as I can remember, we’ve always received free items from others. Old bikes, broken laptops, and fridges (you name it!): we’d take the stuff, fix it, and use it.

As a family friend used to joke, “If it’s too good to throw away, give it to the Genoveses!”

But as I looked at this offer of a free subscription to mind mapping software, the usual rush of dopamine I’d get when I saw the word ‘FREE’ just wasn’t happening.

I felt nervous and uneasy.

I took a closer look at the website. At first glance, the tool looked quite impressive. You could import text, PDFs, images, and books into it, and the tool would automatically generate a mind map for you within seconds.

The website claimed this was a tool “Empowering 100,000+ thinkers”. It said it could save me time. I could generate and seamlessly edit mind maps. All of this sounded good in theory.

So, why was I having such a strong negative reaction to this new AI tool?

I recently finished reading a book called The Extinction of Experience: Reclaiming Our Humanity in a Digital World.

The extinction of experience

In this book, author Christine Rosen argues that we are facing a human crisis caused by Big Tech. The widespread adoption of technologies, such as social media, dating apps, and smartphones, has fundamentally altered the human experience — and not for the better.

Interacting with screens all day long and living in virtual worlds that reward us for sharing our most private thoughts has diminished the human experience and left us feeling disconnected.

Rosen argues we run the risk of developing habits of mind and machine-like behaviours that lead us towards an impoverished experience of the world.

In one part of her book, Rosen discusses the decline of skills like handwriting. She states:

“Like species decline, skills decline gradually.”

This sentence made me stop in my tracks. It stood out to me. Why? Because I have felt some of my skills declining in recent years.

So, when I checked out this AI mind mapping tool, I put my Amish cap on and asked myself the following questions:

  • Could this mind mapping tool diminish my mind mapping experience?
  • What possible consequences could arise from switching from hand-drawn mind maps to digital ones?
  • What could happen if I outsourced my mind mapping to a machine?

 

If I were new to the practice of mind mapping and had only just discovered mind mapping software, things might have been different. I would have had no awareness of what I was missing out on.

But I have been mind mapping by hand, with pen and paper, for over 20 years. I don’t use any fancy apps or software (I never have).

This has been a deliberate choice on my part to preserve and sustain a practice that helps me understand and learn new information in a highly effective way.

I worry that switching from pen and paper to keyboard, mouse, and computer will cause something fundamental to change (and be lost) about my current mind mapping experience and practice.

Before adopting any app or device, you need to get clear on what job you are hiring this piece of technology to do. I use mind mapping to learn and clarify my thinking. Could this mind mapping tool do this for me?

This mind mapping software could produce a mind map for me within seconds. As one student writes in a testimonial on the website:

“I post my own lecture notes to generate a very concentrated mind map for me. I don’t have to spend 3-6 hours writing my own mind maps, which I often can’t do very well.”

Another person leaves a five-star review, “No more messy brainstorming”.

However, all of this completely misses the point of mind mapping.

The process of mind mapping is just as important as the final, often messy, mind map.

When I mind map, I’m not concerned about creating a work of art or saving time (it takes as long as it takes to understand a topic). I want to take my time, settle into the process, and avoid feeling rushed. Mind mapping by hand allows me to do this.

Use your hands to mind map

Creating a mind map on a computer screen quickly and outsourcing the job to AI puts me in a speedy, turbocharged frame of mind, which is not conducive to deep learning.

Mind mapping is a practice that forces me to slow down.

This slowing down is super important because the world around me is sending me signals to speed up and go faster and faster! When I’m in turbocharge mode, I’m more likely to get distracted and feel overwhelmed.

I’m trying to resist this frantic pace because I want to do things thoroughly and at my own speed. Watching a mind map get created within seconds isn’t what I want or need. It shifts me into overdrive mode, which makes it much harder to learn.

Mind mapping by hand also allows me to think deeply about ideas and how they are connected. The only way I can see those connections and understand them is by reading through the information, thinking about how I would convey that information as a picture and in mind map form.

When you outsource the process to mind mapping software, you don’t get the same deep understanding as you would if you took the time to do it yourself by hand. It feels superficial. To me, it feels like the McDonald’s of Mind Mapping: fast, convenient, but ultimately, not particularly nourishing for my brain.

Using mind mapping software also bypasses something else that brings me joy and satisfaction: it feels really nice to work with my hands.

As Rosen says, “We have a human need to see, touch and make things with our hands”.

Making a mind map with your hands may not be quick, easy, or convenient, but it provides a very rewarding experience for your brain and soul. Personally, it makes me feel calm, grounded, and more connected to ideas, myself, and the world.

Experimenting with mind mapping AI tools

I don’t want to be ignorant or closed-minded. This is why I created a free account with this mind mapping AI tool and attempted to generate three mind maps.

The first mind map was on an article I’d read. The mind map focused on just a small section of the article (conspiracy theories). If I hadn’t read the entire article, I would have missed the important science on this topic.

The second mind map was on creating a meal plan for a trip away. Although the mind map provided some ideas, I was left feeling dissatisfied and uninspired. You can see my hand-drawn mind map on a meal plan, which I created for a family trip, compared to the AI-generated one below.

Which mind map do you prefer?

AI meal plan mind map

My meal plan mind map

For the third and final mind map that I tried to create, I entered the following prompt:

“Create a mind map on the book ‘Die with Zero’ by Bill Perkins?”

I encountered this error message:

“System resources have been exhausted. Please try again later.”

System error

Instead of feeling frustrated, I was grateful for this message as it highlighted another problem with using mind mapping software: when the tech goes down or power goes out, you are rendered helpless. It also reminded me of how energy-intensive AI is to run.

I went away and mind mapped this book by hand (I’d just finished reading it and had marked up several ideas). You can see the mind map I created below (it took me approximately 40 minutes to do).

My mind map - Die with zero

I was curious to see if my mind map would resemble the one the mind mapping software generated. So the next day, I entered the same prompt again. Less than 3 seconds later, a mind map appeared on the screen (you can see it here). Was this a mind map on the same brilliant book I’d just read?

It seemed like AI slop.

AI mind map - Die with zero

I felt disconnected from the ideas. The spirit of the book just wasn’t there! I preferred my own mind map.

There is a freedom in mind mapping by hand, away from screens and without AI. The freedom comes not only from using your hands, brain, and creativity, but also from being able to focus on the task at hand.

It’s all too easy to get distracted when working on a computer. That’s why I have set up a dedicated space in my office, away from screens, where I do my mind mapping practice.

To sum up

Mind mapping is a sacred practice for me. Doing it on a computer and outsourcing the process feels abstract and detached. I can see and feel what is being lost from the process.

Some tech enthusiasts may label me a “luddite”, but as Rosen says, “not every new thing is an improvement on the old”.

I say, stick with what works. Let’s not overcomplicate something that is simple but highly effective when it comes to learning. Put aside your fear of creating messy mind maps, step away from the screen, and enjoy the experience of making a mind map by hand.

Just in time for the holidays, I’m sharing my favourite books from this year.

As someone who loves to read, I always look for great books to add to my shelves and the growing pile of books next to my bed. Over the past year, I’ve stumbled upon some amazing books that I’m excited to share with you.

Whether you’re looking to enhance your thinking, organise your life, create new habits, or get absorbed in an inspiring story, this list has something for everyone.

Here are nine standout books from my 2024 reading list that are well worth your time.

Let me know which ones you’re excited to pick up—and don’t forget to share your recommendations with me. Let’s go!

 

1. The Extended Mind: The Power of Thinking Outside the Brain by Annie Murphy Paul

“We use our brains entirely too much – to the detriment of our ability to think intelligently. What we need to do is think outside the brain.”

There’s an old assumption that thinking happens inside the brain. But this book blows that assumption apart. Annie Murphy Paul presents compelling research that shows there are many ways we can use the world around us to improve our ability to think, learn, and unleash creative ideas.

This book changed my behaviour in several ways:

  • I started incorporating more movement into my day (using a treadmill desk and cycle desk)
  • I started spending more time out in nature (e.g., going on hikes)
  • I brought more nature into my home (more indoor plants)
  • I became obsessed with getting things out of my head and writing things down on Post-it notes and whiteboards
  • I purchased two large computer monitors for my workspace
  • I started using my hands more to gesture as I learnt about new ideas
  • I started running new webinars to teach others new ideas I was learning about

 

I’ve been able to “extend my intelligence” using my body, physical space, and relationships. If you’re curious about the science behind these behaviours, I recommend reading this book.

 

2. How to Be Miserable: 40 Strategies You Already Use by Randy Paterson

“Avoid all exercise”, “Maximise screen time”, and “Can’t afford it? Get it anyway”.

These are just three of the 40 behaviours and habits psychologist Dr Randy Paterson encourages us to engage in to guarantee a lifetime of misery.

This book takes advice we all need to hear, flips it, and presents it in a way that cuts through.

I was surprised by how motivating this book was. It made me want to move my body, stay off screens, and engage in self-care acts way more than your usual self-help book. It also helped that it was laugh-out-loud funny.

How to be Miserable was such a delight to read that I purchased Paterson’s other book for young adults (How to be Miserable in Your Twenties). Both books I highly recommend.

 

3. Everything in Its Place: The Power of Mise-En-Place to Organize Your Life, Work, and Mind by Dan Charnas

“A restaurant is a promise: walk in and we’ll be ready. Select anything on our menu and we’ll cook it for you quickly and well.”

Chefs can’t wing it. They need to be organised and have a plan. We can learn a lot about how to organise ourselves and manage our commitments from the culinary world.

This book outlines the philosophy and strategies of running a successful commercial kitchen and shows how to apply these ideas to navigate our lives with power and ease.

Dan Charnas discusses ideas such as slowing down to speed up, knolling, rearranging spaces to remove resistance and making first moves. As someone who loves cooking and being organised, I thoroughly enjoyed this book.

 

4. Highway to Hell: Climate Change and Australia’s Future by Joëlle Gergis

“As Australia is the third-largest exporter of fossil fuels in the world, what we do over the next handful of years really, really matters. The time for standing on the sidelines has passed.”

Joelle Gergis is a climate scientist who gave up a prestigious academic position to sound the alarm on the climate emergency. In this Quarterly Essay, she lays out the latest climate science in a clear and compelling way and shows readers what is at stake if we continue business as usual (e.g., approving new fossil fuel projects).

This essay is a heavy but essential read for all Australians who want a liveable future.

 

5. Excellent Advice for Living: Wisdom I Wish I’d Known Earlier by Kevin Kelly

This book is a collection of nuggets of wisdom that Kevin Kelly wrote for his adult children. This is life advice he wishes he had known earlier.

At first glance, this looks like just another standard book of uplifting quotes. But don’t be mistaken. This is no ordinary book of quotes.

Kelly could have easily written entire waffly chapters on each quote, but I’m so glad he restrained himself. Each quote is small but mighty, providing plenty of food for thought and practical advice.

Here is a small selection of Kelly’s life advice that resonated with me:

“Be frugal in all things except in your passions. Select a few interests that you gleefully splurge on. In fact, be all-round thrifty so that you can splurge on your passions.”

“The best work ethic requires a good rest ethic.”

“We tend to overestimate what we can do in a day and underestimate what we can achieve in a decade. Miraculous things can be accomplished if you give it 10 years.”

 

6. The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness by Jonathan Haidt

The Australian government recently passed legislation to ban social media use by teenagers. Some have cited this book as the reason for the ban. If that’s true, I can certainly see why.

Social psychologist Dr Jonathan Haidt argues that we are overprotecting our children in the real world while underprotecting them online. This has led to disastrous consequences for young people’s mental health and development.

Before reading this book, I didn’t like social media companies and the manipulative strategies they use to hijack people’s time and attention. Over the years, I had read a lot of books outlining the harms of social media. What’s unique about this book is that Haidt presents a plan for cleaning up the mess these Big Tech companies have created and ensuring children develop in a healthy way.

Haidt’s plan involves keeping children off social media for as long as possible. Whether you’re a child or an adult, I firmly believe that everyone can benefit from some time away from these platforms. As Haidt succinctly puts it:

“The Anxious Generation is a book about how to reclaim human life for human beings in all generations.”

 

7. The Wealth Money Can’t Buy: The 8 Hidden Habits to Live Your Richest Life by Robin Sharma

This book argues that we’ve been brainwashed to measure whether we are winning at life by the size of our possessions and the amount of money we have. However, according to author Robin Sharma, this definition of success is far too narrow and limiting.

Sharma expands the definition of wealth and what it means to “live abundantly and beautifully” by sharing other forms of wealth often overlooked by capitalist culture.

If we invested more time in personal growth, building connections and community, and cultivating good health, we would feel deeply alive rather than exhausted from the hedonic treadmill.

I’ll leave you with this quote that struck a chord with me (written in the chapter on Health):

“If you don’t feel good physically, mentally and spiritually, all the money, possessions and fame in the world mean nothing. Lose your wellness (which I pray you never will) and I promise you that you’ll spend the rest of your days trying to get it back.”

 

8. Grumpy Monkey by Suzanne Lang and Max Lang

This delightful children’s book starts with Jim Panzee waking up feeling grumpy.

“The sun was too bright, the sky was too blue, and the bananas were too sweet”.

Have you ever woken up feeling a little bit off?

This book is a fun way for everyone (not just little kids) to understand human emotions. It’s okay to be grumpy! It’s okay to wake up feeling a bit off. Allow yourself to experience these emotions. In time, they shall pass.

 

9. Out of the Blue: Everything this Wiggle Journey has Taught Me by Anthony Field with Greg Truman

One of my relatives is obsessed with The Wiggles (an Australian children’s performance group). After reading Anthony Field’s memoir (the Blue Wiggle), I finally understand all the fuss. The Wiggles are amazing!

Field’s memoir takes a deep dive into how the band started, how they managed to stay true to their values and mission, and the challenges they faced along the way.

Field is honest about his difficult time in school, media blunders, and his struggles with physical and mental health issues over the years. What can I say? Out of the Blue is a refreshing, wholesome read.

“I’ve been thrilled to become the major on-stage instrumentalist playing guitar, bass, drums, mandolin, bouzouki, and anything else a curious child might want to explore musically. It turns out that the maintenance of a child-like wonder about the world isn’t so hard to retain, even after you turn 60.”

To sum up

There you have it! Nine books that shifted my perspective and changed my behaviour in some way. Now, it’s over to you – what books helped to shape your year? Are there any you’d recommend?

I’d love to hear your recommendations.

Technology can work for you or it can work against you.

If I’m honest with myself, there was a time when technology was doing me more harm than good.

On Facebook, I frequently fell into the comparison trap (comparing myself to people who had posted delicious dinners, amazing holiday photos, etc).

On Twitter, I’d get baited by trolls (and I’d foolishly take the bait).

Throughout the day, I’d constantly check my phone and email, which left me feeling jittery and chaotic.

Big Tech was constantly hijacking my time, energy, and attention. Every time I retreated to my devices for a quick shot of dopamine, I moved further away from my goals. I didn’t like this, and I knew something needed to change.

Over the past three years, I’ve implemented many practices to regain control of my time, energy, and attention (including deleting all social media).

These practices have made a big difference in my life. But I’m well aware that not everyone feels the same way I do about Big Tech, nor are they in a position to be able to delete all their accounts.

My Reality Check

Following a school presentation, I spoke with a small group of year 8 students. I shared with them that I didn’t use any social media, to which a year 8 girl quickly chimed in:

“My grandma has Facebook. What’s your excuse?”

Her words struck me like a bolt of lightning. I didn’t know what to say.

It highlighted how adopting these apps is the norm for a young person.

When everyone else has a smartphone and is using social media (including your parents and grandparents), why would you question using them?

I couldn’t forget the year 8 girl’s words. While I appreciated her candidness, it left me slightly disturbed.

At the same time, it increased my motivation to resist Big Tech. I started searching for role models: people actively resisting Big tech and this hyperconnected, fast-paced way of life.

One community kept popping up in my research: the Amish.

Lessons from the Amish

The Amish are often portrayed as being technologically impaired. A classic example is Weird Al Yankovic’s music video Amish Paradise (a parody of Coolio’s mega-hit Gangsta’s Paradise).

In this video, Weird Al sings:

I never wear buttons but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I really look good in black, fool
If you come to visit, you’ll be bored to tears
We haven’t even paid the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain’t really quaint, so please don’t point and stare
We’re just technologically impaired

There’s no phone, no lights, no motorcar
Not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe
It’s as primitive as can be

While the Amish still mainly travel by horse and buggy and shun many modern technologies, such as televisions, radios, and cars, they are not ‘technologically impaired’ as Weird Al makes out.

When it comes to cultivating healthy digital habits, there is a lot we can learn from the Amish.

The Amish have a set of strategies that guide the adoption and use of different technologies. These strategies have allowed them to avoid being pawns for the goals of Big Tech companies, which make massive profits by seizing people’s attention.

I recently read a fascinating book called Virtually Amish, written by Dr Lindsay Ems. For her PhD research, Dr Ems spoke to Amish people about their relationship to modern technology (e.g., smartphones).

She argues that the Amish take control of their tech tools and thrive. Through adopting similar practices, we can thrive, too.

Below, I share how you can thrive by emulating Amish practices and beliefs around technology:

1. Become a technoselective

The Amish are not technophobes. They are ‘technoloselectives’.

They carefully consider the tech tools they’ll adopt and their functionality, tweaking them to help them achieve their goals.

The Amish don’t mindlessly purchase the latest gadgets and gizmos. Instead, they think about their values and goals and how the technology could cause unintended harm to themselves and the wider Amish community.

What are your goals?
Do your tech tools help you achieve them, or do they distract you from them?

2. Be guided by your values

The Amish are guided by their values (i.e., the things that are most important to them). Their values underpin everything they do.

So, what exactly do Amish people value?

• Community
• Connections with others
• Living a simple and slow-paced life
• Living a spiritually rich life
• Being self-sufficient

The Amish use these values to guide their adoption of technology.

An example of this can be seen with the arrival of the home telephone (not smartphone). Dr Ems shares how the Amish decided to ban the telephone from being inside the family home.

This ban came about after careful consideration and reflection on their values. The Amish value connections with family, friends, and the community. They don’t want to be the kind of person who interrupts a conversation by answering a telephone call. For this reason, telephones are located outside Amish family homes or nearby.

What are the things that are most important to you?
How does technology impact on those things?
Does it enrich those things or diminish them?

3. Understand technology isn’t neutral

The Amish understand that technology can cause harm. Subsequently, they intentionally delay adopting new technology until they see its impact on others.

Does it destroy family life? Does it wreak havoc on their ability to pay attention and distract them from their spiritual life?

If so, the technology threatens their culture and religion, and for these reasons, it should be avoided.

Before adopting a piece of technology, the Amish need to be clear about two things:

1) The functionality of the technology (what it can do)
2) The potential social impacts of the technology

Once they deeply understand these things, it is then decided whether the technology is adopted or not.

It may come as no surprise that Amish people view the smartphone as an incredibly dangerous innovation. Many Amish communities have bans on this device.

How do you feel after spending time on social media?
Have you seen things posted on social media that weren’t true or were exaggerated?

4. Put the technology on trial

When an Amish person wants to use a new technology, that technology will go through a formal decision-making process.

The community (in particular, the leaders) will consider the future with this technology. They’ll try to imagine how the technology could change their way of life.

Questions the Amish reflect on include:

• What are the advantages and disadvantages of the technology?
• What might come with it that we might not anticipate?
• Could someone get addicted to it?
• Is it a need or a want?
• Can the technology be restrained?

In her book Virtually Amish, Dr Ems provides the example of an Amish business owner asking the community leaders if he could have permission to use a label maker for his business.

After careful consideration, the leaders ruled label makers could be allowed for the following reasons:

• They are not addictive
• They can’t be used for recreational purposes (e.g., playing games or entertainment)

Think of a new technology (device or app) you want to adopt. Could it become addictive?

5. What matters is how you use it

Many Amish people believe the issue is not whether you use a smartphone or social media but how you use it. It’s important that the Amish remain in control of their use of tech and place limits on it.

It’s also important that the technology is not visible (i.e., you don’t pull your smartphone out in Church or during a conversation). Being discrete in the way one uses technology shows respect for Amish values.

How do you use the tech in your life?
Are you in control of your use?

6. Reflect on who you become when you use the technology

Amish people think about not just how they use the technology but what kind of person they become when they use it.

This point resonated with me deeply. I can’t say I’ve always liked who I become when I use certain technology.

A few years ago, I babysat my friends’ children when my friends went out for a kid-free meal. I look back and cringe when I think about how the experience unfolded.

Before going to my friend’s place to start babysitting, I got into a heated text discussion with some people in a group chat. Things were said that upset me.

For most of the night, I was on my phone, texting back and forth, not present with these young children. At one point, the little boy tugged on my arm to get my attention. “Aunty Jane, come play!” he said.

What can I say? I felt terrible. This certainly was not my finest moment. I had become the kind of caregiver I am usually quick to judge: distracted and disengaged.

I vowed to avoid trying to resolve issues by text and leave my phone at home next time to be fully present with the kids.

When you use social media, what sort of person do you become?

7. Adopt sticky tech tools

The Amish take modern tech tools and modify them to help them achieve their goals.

The plain mobile phone is an example of this. Amish people have created a mobile phone that can only make calls. It doesn’t have a camera, games, access to the Internet, or the ability to send text messages.

Similarly, the plain computer allows Amish to make spreadsheets, do word processing, and construct simple drawings. This allows them to complete tasks without being distracted by other things.

In other words, the Amish create what David Kadavy (author of Mind Management, Not Time Management) would refer to as sticky tools. A sticky tool allows you to stay focused on a task without getting distracted.

What sticky tools could you consider adopting (e.g., a basic flip phone and Internet blocker app)?

8. Create, don’t consume

The Amish take pride in growing their own food, raising barns, baking their own bread, tinkering with robotics, inventing, and making their own clothes. They are not big consumers, but they embrace a simple lifestyle and encourage human creativity.

In the modern non-Amish world, many of us are doing the polar opposite of this. We have fallen into the trap of consuming content mindlessly online (e.g., watching people bake bread instead of baking our own bread).

Don’t get me wrong—the Internet is an excellent learning tool to help us build our skills. I have turned to YouTube for many instructional videos on how to make and fix things. But doing this requires discipline because it is all too easy to get derailed by other distracting videos.

The bottom line is this: the more time we spend online, the more ads we are likely exposed to and the more our consumptive desires are stirred up. Is it any wonder so many people feel so dissatisfied with their lives?

Instead of mindlessly consuming, what can you create today?

9. Embrace inconvenience

The Amish embrace tech with inbuilt friction. In fact, inconvenience is considered a virtue.

Dr Ems shares that many Amish technologies intentionally contain ‘speed bumps’ and ‘friction’. The reason for this friction is to prevent Amish people from wasting time on the device.

I’ve found this is one of the positives associated with using a ‘basic phone’.

Last year, I experimented with using a basic flip phone with limited functionality (I could only make calls and send texts). Texting on this phone was so painfully slow that it made me want to avoid getting into long text discussions with people. It was easier to pick up the phone and call people.

Using a smartphone to text your friends may be easier than making a phone call, but as the Amish strongly believe, easier is not always better.

How can you build friction into your tech use?
Can you embrace analog alternatives to decrease your screen time?

To sum up

How much control do you have over your time, energy, and attention? As Chris Bailey writes in his book How to Calm Your Mind, “On the Internet, our intentions very quickly slip from our grasp.”

If you want to thrive online and offline, consider adopting some of the tech habits of the Amish. By limiting their tech use, the Amish have been able to remain mentally free and protect their way of life.

If more of us adopted Amish tech practices (e.g., being intentional with our tech use and placing limits on it), we’d most likely feel calmer and less anxious. We’d also spend more time engaged in activities that bring us joy and are aligned with what we value.