Cook your way to calm

What activities help you get through tough times?

Over the years, I’ve experimented with a range of weird and wonderful stress-busting activities, including yoga, pilates, meditation classes, floatation tanks, massages, acupuncture, and sound healings (to name a few).

I’ll be the first to admit that cash-grabbing wellness gurus and advertisers have sucked me in.

In our capitalist culture, we’re sold this idea that in order to relax, we need to spend big dollars. But I now realise that the best relaxation experiences are cheap or free.

In this blog, I want to share one of my favourite relaxation practices: cooking.

I’ve created rituals around cooking that help me stay calm, grounded, and focused throughout the day.

These days, cooking is my number one way to relax. My kitchen is my happy place, and it can be your happy place, too.

Perhaps this sounds a bit strange. But hear me out.

I haven’t always found cooking to be relaxing or particularly enjoyable.

Being half Italian, I used to get involved with the occasional food tradition, such as tomato sauce-making day. But it wasn’t like I grew up with the delicious smells of homecooked food wafting through the house.

My teenage years and early twenties were filled with processed junk foods: a dizzying array of Hungry Jacks combos, greasy fish and chips, and takeaway meat lovers pizzas.

Cooking was a relaxation practice I stumbled upon much later in life.

Since upping my kitchen game and trading the expensive wellness activities for a sharp knife, solid chopping board, and fresh vegetables, my savings and confidence have grown.

How does one cultivate calm in the kitchen?

To emerge from the kitchen in a calm and tranquil state, a few conditions have to be in place:

1. You cannot feel rushed
2. Your kitchen counter must be clean and clutter-free
3. You need a sharp knife to chop with
4. Your phone must be out of sight (like most things in life, it’s best not to multitask)

If these conditions are met, cooking can feel like a meditation or an empowering yoga class.

I’m not the only person who feels this way.

In the book ‘Uncook Yourself: A Ratbag’s Rules for Life’, Nat’s What I Reckon shares how he cooks his way through tough times. He writes:

“I reckon getting in the kitchen and un-cooking yourself from the tough moments in your head every now and then is a way better self-help routine than throwing five grand at some short-lived back pat from a cash grabbing blowhard at a self-help seminar just to tell you you’re not doing life right.”

How does cooking lead to a sense of calm? What are the underlying mechanisms?

One reason is you need to focus your mind.

When chopping with a sharp knife, you must pay attention to what you’re doing. If you get distracted, and I have (many times), you might pay the price with a cut to the finger.

Chopping is also a repetitive activity that delivers an immediate outcome. One minute, the bok choy is on the chopping board in full form; the next, it has been chopped and is ready for tonight’s stir-fry.

Cooking also requires you to slow down.

When you’re online, you tend to jump around in a frenzy. But when you’re cooking, you have to follow a recipe step-by-step. This requires focus. This focus helps to clear your mind.

Cooking also gives you a sense of control, power, and agency. As food journalist Michael Pollan says:

“Eating out breeds helplessness, dependence and ignorance, and eventually, it undermines any sense of responsibility.”

When you cook, you’re in control of the process (not some big corporate fast food company). Plus, compared to that commodified wellness experience, cooking is super cheap (all it costs is the price of a few ingredients).

It also produces a nourishing meal at the end. That meal will give you energy, help regulate your mood, and keep you calm and steady.

Food impacts your brain

In the book ‘The Food Mood Connection’, Uma Naidoo argues that to decrease anxiety, you should pay attention to what you’re eating. She writes:

“A crucial part of battling anxiety is making sure your diet is full of foods that are calming and free of foods that put you on edge.”

What foods could put you on edge?

Fast foods and highly processed foods. These foods (e.g., greasy hot chips and baked goods) are problematic because they lack fibre and the fragile micronutrients and phytochemicals needed for good brain health.

Naidoo recommends increasing your fibre intake by consuming more plants and whole foods, such as beans, brown rice, baked potatoes with the skin on, broccoli, pears, apples, and oats.

“But isn’t it easier and cheaper to buy takeaway?”

A few years ago, I delivered a talk called ‘Rediscovering the Ancient Art of Thrift’ at a local library. In my presentation, I shared the thrifty practice of avoiding eating out and cooking meals at home.

At this point in the presentation, an elderly gentleman put up his hand and said:

“But vegetables are expensive. Why not just get McDonald’s? It’s cheap, and there’s no cleaning up at the end.”

I immediately thought of a friend who, at the time, ate only McDonald’s (for breakfast, lunch, and dinner). His housemates had confided in me that his feet had developed a pungent odour.

Although my diet was far from perfect, I was concerned. If my friend kept going down this path, I could see him heading for serious trouble.

Fast forward a year: How was my friend doing?

He was not well.

He had put on a significant amount of weight and seemed depressed, rarely leaving his room except to get his next McDonald’s meal (back in those days, there was no Uber Eats).

I explained to this elderly gentleman in the library workshop:

“Maybe you’ll save a bit of time and money in the short term [buying the fast food], but eating processed food will cost you down the track. It will cost you in medical bills and poor health. Your quality of life will suffer.”

He nodded, but I could tell he wasn’t entirely convinced.

Cultivating calm and confidence in the kitchen

Until you’ve cut out the processed junk food, allowed a couple of weeks for your tastebuds to readjust, and developed the habit of home cooking, it’s easy to be sceptical. After all, we live in a world that values convenience. Opening an app, pressing a button, and having dinner delivered to your door in less than 20 minutes has some definite appeal.

But every time you order Uber Eats, you miss out on a valuable opportunity to practice slowing down and calming your mind. You also undermine your cooking skills.

If you haven’t developed the habit of cooking or cooking makes you feel anxious, there are a few simple things you can do to cultivate calm and confidence in the kitchen:

1. Give yourself permission to make a mess

Cooking is a messy process. While I may start with a clean kitchen bench, it quickly becomes a mess. That’s how the process goes (I try to clean as I go).

It’s also okay to mess up a meal. Not every meal is going to be an absolute winner. In ‘The Four Hour Chef’, Tim Ferris encourages the reader to see meals that don’t work out as cheap cooking classes. Learn the lesson and move on.

2. Break down the process

When you think of cooking as one activity, it can feel overwhelming. I divide the cooking process into two stages:

1) Preparing the mise en place: chopping vegetables, taking out utensils, etc, and
2) Pulling it all together: cooking the dish.

In the morning, I take out all the ingredients for a dish so they are ready to go when I need to take a break from my work. I chop earlier in the day and cook the dish in the afternoon/early evening.

If I’m overwhelmed by the idea of chopping vegetables, I break it down to chopping just one vegetable at a time. I’ll say to myself:

“Just chop the capsicum. That’s all you need to do.”

3. Invest in good tools

It’s not fun chopping with a knife with a dull blade. A sharp knife combined with a lovely chopping board makes all the difference.

4. Learn how to chop

Learning basic chopping skills is a game changer. With the proper technique and a sharp knife, there’s no need to worry about cutting yourself. You can chop with ease.

I took a chopping skills course with the online cooking school Rouxbe, but you can find YouTube videos teaching you good chopping techniques.

5. Take your time

You’re not running a restaurant. You don’t have to rush to get meals out to hungry customers. Take your time and enjoy the process of chopping each vegetable.

To sum up

If approached with the right mindset, cooking can deliver a sense of calm and ground you in the present moment. You also get to experience the mental and physical benefits of a nourishing home-cooked meal. The bonus extra is saving a bit of money.

So, what are you waiting for? Pull out some ingredients and start cooking today.

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Do one thing at a time

Over 10 years ago, I interviewed a woman who was addicted to her phone.

For context, she was a sales manager who used a BlackBerry phone for work (a fancy, expensive device at the time).

Every minute of the interview, her phone pinged with a notification or she received an email alert on her laptop. She’d glance at one of her devices and, with a panicked look, say, “I need to answer this!”

It was an awkward and disjointed conversation, full of stops and starts. I have to admit, her behaviour annoyed me. I soon realised I wasn’t the only person feeling this way.

The sales manager mentioned that she had a 4-year-old daughter who would get upset with her.

She told me that her little girl would beg her to put her phone and computer away. She’d tug at her clothes and cry, “Mummy! Mummy! Put your phone away!”

Put your phone away!

I appreciated this woman’s honesty, especially when she said to me:

“On the weekend, I’m with my kids but not truly with them… if you know what I mean”.

I knew exactly what she meant.

That was over 10 years ago. Fast forward to today, and we’re all a bit like that sales manager. But things are a lot worse now.

Instead of being overwhelmed and distracted by phone calls and work emails, we’re dealing with powerful Big Tech companies that hijack our time, energy, and attention.

They’ve made us weak-willed and impulsive.

We’re now in a position where distraction is something we crave rather than put up with.

When we have a gap in our schedule or we have to wait in line, what do most of us do? We reach for our phones without even thinking.

Rather than be alone with our thoughts, we desperately try to fill the space with ‘phone snacks’.

When we feel confused, frustrated, or bored, we run to our devices to escape the discomfort and our brains reward us for doing so.

Every time we switch tasks, our brain releases a little shot of dopamine.

It’s these quick hits of dopamine that train us to crave checking our phones and, ultimately, multitasking.

In an environment of unrestricted tech use, my brain is like a wild monkey. It wants to run around, make a mess, and explore many different things all at once.

Wild monkey brain

I can relate to Dr Nancy Colier when she writes in The Power of Off, the mind on technology is like a “wild, locked-up monkey that’s drunk two bottles of wine chased by a shot of Scotch and been stung by a whole swarm of bees”.

When I start multitasking (and it doesn’t take much to get me going), I feel amped up, frenzied, and agitated. My energy feels a little crazy.

Research shows that as we quickly switch from one task to another, we rapidly deplete our finite mental resources and put our brains under a lot of stress.

But it gets worse . . .

When we multitask, we also experience what researcher Sophie Leroy calls Attention Residue.

In a research paper called Why is it so hard to do my work? Leroy explains Attention Residue as the extent to which your attention is only partially focused on the current activity because a prior activity (the task you rapidly switched from) is still holding part of your attention.

Attention residue paper

Why does this matter?

Leroy’s research found that when you experience Attention Residue, your performance suffers.

It’s as if you’ve taken a big dollop of the previous task and put a thick slather of it all over the current task, thereby making a mess of the present moment.

The quest to be (and stay) present

The good news is we can stop messing with our precious moments by focusing on one task at a time.

In his excellent book Time Surfing, Zen Monk Paul Loomans encourages us to focus on one task at a time, with minimal interruptions, and do it until completion. He says if we do this, we will experience a sense of calm and pleasure in everything we do.

Time Surfing by Paul Loomans

Even tasks we consider boring or mundane (e.g., peeling potatoes or cleaning your room) can be transformed into artistry when you are truly present.

Part of the problem is that we’re often in a rush to get to the next thing on our to-do lists. But as Loomans warns, “Rushing is like gulping down time. You’re not living for now but for later”.

To counter this frenetic urge to race ahead, Loomans suggests that we accept whatever we are doing as “the activity of the moment”. In other words, we view the task before us as the most important thing we can be doing in this moment and we forget the rest.

It’s a simple but powerful mental shift.

I’ve noticed that when I accept whatever I am doing as the thing I should be doing right now, I no longer feel the urge to work with such intense energy. I feel calmer. An added bonus is that when I slow down, I make fewer mistakes and tend to do a better job.

At the heart of it, doing one thing at a time means showing up to life and being present, to the good stuff but also the painful, boring bits.

If you find yourself reaching for your phone more than you’d like, ask yourself this question:

“Am I reaching for my phone to escape the present moment?”

For me, the answer is usually yes. I’m trying to avoid the discomfort of life. But life tends to be more meaningful and enjoyable when I stay fully present to what’s happening around me, with my phone out of sight.

Strategies to help you live with greater intention and focus

Technology will dominate your life, and multitasking will be an issue unless you have strategies to protect your time, energy, and attention.

What motivates me to set limits on my tech use (specifically my phone) is a desire to feel calm, grounded, and focused. I also want to live a life of substance, not one in which I am constantly chasing instant gratification.

Here are the strategies that I am currently practising to help me decrease multitasking and cultivate calm:

1. My phone is out of sight for most of the day

My phone is not within arm's reach

When I’m with someone or working on an important task, I put my phone away and keep it out of sight. I want to be fully present with the person I’m with or the task at hand. Why?

Because attention is how we show others they matter.

When someone is checking their phone in a social situation, it communicates “I’m more interested in what’s happening on this screen than I am in you”.

When I think back to the interview with the sales manager, it would have been a better experience for everyone if she had put her phone on silent, left it in her bag, and closed her laptop.

There would have been fewer times saying “What was the question again?” and “Sorry, I can’t remember what we were talking about”.

We probably would have felt more connected, too.

Note: Even when my phone isn’t within arm’s reach, I can still catch myself rapidly switching between web browsers and tasks. However, I’ve noticed that my multitasking significantly increases when my phone is within arm’s reach.

2. I do intermittent phone fasting

You’ve probably heard of intermittent fasting, where you have a window for eating (e.g., 10am to 6pm). But have you heard of phone fasting?

Phone fasting is a period during the day when your phone is not within reach.

As TJ Power states in The Dose Effect:

“A phone fast enables your dopamine to replenish and creates the opportunity for connection and restoration.”

So, as an experiment, for 30 days, I phone fasted from 8pm until 12noon the next day (allowing myself to make urgent calls if needed). I discovered that this made a big difference to my ability to focus. I also experienced a sense of calm like never before.

3. I create a wish list at the start of the day

At the start of the day, I create a ‘Wish List’ (another wonderful concept from Paul Looman’s Time Surfing book).

I write down all the things I’d like to do in the day, but there’s no pressure to do all of them. I then put the list away, and depending on how I feel, I listen to my intuition and trust myself to choose the right activity to begin with.

Before I start a work session, I also declare what I intend to do (e.g., “Chop vegetables for curry” or “Write for 45 minutes”). If possible, I also like to share what I plan to do with another human (I use an online coworking community called Cave Day to do this).

4. I take regular movement breaks

Regular movement breaks

After every 25-30 minutes of work, I aim to take a short movement break (usually 2-5 minutes in duration). This helps me to stay energised and alert. But most importantly, it gives me a brain boost.

What I wish I had understood when I was younger is that you can’t focus for hours on end. It’s not humanly possible because your brain has a finite amount of attentional resources. This means as you focus on doing a task, your attentional resources get depleted (and if you multitask, you accelerate the depletion even more!).

However, research shows you can boost your attentional resources by taking short breaks or, as Paul Loomans likes to call them, ‘breathers’.

A ‘breather’ is any activity that allows you to get out of your head and grounded in your body.

Some of my favourite breather activities include going for a short walk, chopping vegetables, or riding my bike to pick up a package from the post office. These activities allow my brain and thoughts to roam free.

Although many of us default to checking our phones during breaks, resist the urge. The problem with using your phone on a break is that you’re still in your head. This means you’re churning through your attentional resources instead of replenishing them.

Final thoughts

The sense of calm and pleasure I experience when I stop multitasking and focus on doing one thing at a time is second to none.

But in the age of the Attention Economy, with so many companies trying to hijack our attention, it takes discipline and practice to stay focused.

Without strategies in place to protect your focus, the default will be multitasking and its friends – chaos, stress, and fatigue.

We may not have a 4-year-old child tugging on our clothes when we’re using our phones. But perhaps we should all listen to the wisdom of that little girl and put our phones away.

My first car was a dilapidated Suzuki Swift.  

But just to be clear – this car wasn’t in bad shape when I first got it. I turned this car into a jalopy through neglect and ignoring basic warning signs.

Whenever I gave my friends a lift in this car, I remember that they always looked visibly uncomfortable. They’d say with a nervous laugh:

“Jane, what’s that strange rattling sound?”

“Why is there a red warning light on your dashboard?”

I wasn’t fussed about the red light or the strange rattling sound.

Somehow, I’d missed the adulting lesson on basic car maintenance.

For many years, I never bothered to get my car serviced. I drove it to the point where it rattled and shook violently, the engine would cut out while driving, and the brakes squealed at a painfully high pitch.

It got to the point where I could no longer ignore these problems, but by then, it was too late. My car was beyond repair and could only be salvaged for scrap metal.

I’m embarrassed to share this, as that’s no way to treat a car that gets you from A to B and uses the Earth’s finite resources. But stay with me because there’s an important point I want to make, and it’s this. . .

The way that I treated my first car is symbolic of how many people treat their bodies, especially when they’re young.

When I was younger, I engaged in several unhealthy lifestyle practices. Whilst I never smoked, took drugs, or consumed alcohol, I ate huge amounts of processed junk food (I didn’t know how to cook).

I also frequently sacrificed sleep to pull all-nighters to complete my assignments (I struggled with procrastination).

My body seemed resilient. It appeared capable of handling the shocks. But over time, I started feeling tired and rundown. Still, I kept pushing myself like my old car. The only time I could rest was when I got sick.

These days, everything’s quite different.

I am physically unable to thrash my body around like an old jalopy.

Something as simple as consuming too much salt or sugar can send my brain spiralling out of control.

I was reminded of this a couple of weeks ago when I visited a friend in hospital. Because I was spending a lot of time at the hospital, my usual routines of grocery shopping and cooking from scratch were disrupted.

But then to make matters worse, I was given $80 worth of vouchers to spend at the hospital cafeteria. I thought, “How bad can hospital cafeteria food be?”.

It turns out really bad.

Cheese kranskys (sausages), heaps of salty hot chips, deep-fried chicken, and soft drinks were the main options at this hospital cafeteria.

Unhealthy food seemed completely normalised in this hospital environment. My jaw dropped when I saw a patient order not just one but five cheese kransky sausages!

In this hospital setting, I also started to eat poorly. It was on my third day of eating hot chips from the hospital cafeteria when I noticed that these chips weren’t doing me any favours. I was feeling off my game.

So I decided enough was enough. I gave the remaining hospital food vouchers to a homeless man who was hanging around the cafeteria, desperate for a feed. It was back to home cooked meals for me!

Who would have thought some hot chips could wreak so much havoc with my brain and body?

This greasy processed hospital food had a ripple effect on the rest of my life. I slept badly, which impacted my ability to run the next morning (my joints hurt). I felt resistance to using my treadmill desk because everything felt much harder than usual. Since I was moving less, I was more distracted.

I know all this might sound a bit dramatic, especially to those of us who enjoy a few hot chips (e.g., my husband). Given my friend was in a hospital bed and couldn’t walk, I am fully aware of how lucky I am to be able to run in the first place (even with sore joints).

The point I’m trying to make is this . . .

I know what it feels like to feel really good, and I value that feeling. When I feel good, everything feels easier.

I also know that small decisions, like eating too many hot chips or staying up late, can add up and take their toll on your mind and body. These tiny decisions can have a big impact on the way you feel.

When I was younger, I could eat whatever I wanted and still feel pretty good. Sometimes I’d feel a bit off, but not in a noticeable way.

As Dr Randy J Paterson states in his book How to Be Miserable in Your Twenties:

“In your twenties, some people can do practically anything to their bodies, experience no immediate physical consequences, and feel emotionally more or less well. Random sleep cycle, sedentary lifestyle, lousy diet, 90 percent of the day staring at screen, binge-drinking, isolation, the works. The body doesn’t completely fall apart, and the mind, while not thrilled, hangs on.

Later on, the effect is more immediate. Live exactly the same way at thirty-five, at forty-five, and things don’t go so well. Take a middle-aged car and drive it aggressively down jolting roads, loaded to the max, old oil clogging the engine, and it’s not going to last long. The baseline mood at forty-with no maintenance, no exercise, no dietary adjustment, no stability, and no social life- is misery. ”

Like a car, the human body requires regular basic maintenance. I see this basic maintenance as a collection of small behaviours that leave me feeling calm, grounded, and focused.

Here are a few things I need to do to keep myself running smoothly:

  • Engage in high-intensity exercise every morning
  • Limit my intake of salt and refined sugar
  • Be in bed by 9.30pm each night
  • Stay off social media and limit my time looking at screens
  • Give myself the right fuel (i.e., eat lots of plants and wholefoods and drink plenty of water)
  • Minimise my consumption of processed foods
  • Connect with friends and family
  • Avoid sitting for long periods of time
  • Go outside and spend time in nature
  • Give myself fun rest breaks
  • Try to do one thing at a time (multitasking scrambles my brain)

 

Every now and then, I’ll abandon these behaviours. I’ll have a day where I eat and do whatever I like. I’ll order takeaway, sit on the couch and binge-watch a series until late at night. I usually pay for it the next day, but it also gives me a better appreciation of these healthy practices and what they do for my body and mind.

It’s all about tuning in and noticing how certain things make you feel. For example, when I was in my mid-20s, I noticed every time I ate deep-fried chicken, I experienced sharp stomach pains.

That was like the red warning light on my car dashboard going off in my body. But instead of ignoring it, I paid close attention. Eventually, I decided it wasn’t worth the pain. So I stopped buying greasy deep-fried chicken and eventually went plant-based, which immediately improved my mental and physical health.

Final thoughts

There’s no doubt that modern life can be hectic and stressful. When you’re rushing from one thing to another, it’s easy to overlook the basics and ignore the warning signs.

I’m not proud of how I treated my first car, but I learnt from the experience. Now I make sure I get my car serviced regularly. This saves me time, money, and stress in the long run.

Similarly, we need to pay attention to the way in which we look after ourselves. By dedicating time, energy, and attention to the small things that make us feel better, our experience of the present moment becomes richer. As longevity researcher Dan Buettner says, “You can add years to your life and life to your years”.

 

Image Credit

Suzuki Swift 1.3 GTi 1990” by RL GNZLZ is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0. (used in image 1)

Scrap yard 22l3” by Snowmanradio at English Wikipedia (Original text: snowmanradio) is licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0. (used in image 2)

KFC Wicked Wings” by avlxyz is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0. (used in image 5)

Tiny habits for healthy living

I used to spend a lot of time on the road driving from school to school.

While I always kept an eye on the amount of petrol in the tank, I also needed to pay close attention to my own personal energy levels.

It was important to avoid pushing myself past empty and depleting my energy reserves because if I did, I would end up feeling emotionally wrecked.

I clearly remember one day when I pushed myself too hard. Looking back, it seems comical now. But I wasn’t laughing at the time.

It was my 24th birthday. I had woken up that morning with great intentions, thinking “It’s my birthday! Let’s make it a great day!”

I was trying too hard to make it a “great day”. I was forcing it, and perhaps that’s partly why everything went pear-shaped.  Here’s what happened . . .

I had a school presentation later that day, so I spent the morning preparing for it before driving over an hour to deliver the presentation.

The time slot for the talk wasn’t ideal—my talk was scheduled for the last period on a Friday afternoon—but I was thinking, “Hey! It’s my birthday. Let’s make it a great day!”

What can I say?

The session didn’t go well.

There were IT issues and the students’ minds were elsewhere. But you couldn’t blame the students. They were tired and I was the only thing standing between them and the weekend.

When I wrapped up the session, I felt tired and hungry.

But I foolishly ignored my body’s needs. On an empty stomach, I began the long drive home. I was desperate to get back and be in my own space.

Within 10 minutes, I found myself stuck in peak-hour traffic. But I wasn’t just stuck in traffic; I was also stuck in an anxiety loop.

Psychologist Risa Williams explains an anxiety loop as “a negative thought cycle that makes you feel stuck in a rut”. You can’t rationalise your way out of an anxiety loop. Logic doesn’t cut it.

I kept thinking about how the talk could have gone better, why my birthday had been such a flop . . . these annoying tunes kept playing over and over in my mind and they kept getting louder and louder.

I was about halfway home when something unexpected happened: I began sobbing uncontrollably behind the wheel of my car. I just felt incredibly sad.

I realised it was dangerous to drive while crying, so I pulled over and called my mum.

My mum and I would chat on the phone most days, but I remember this conversation especially well because my mum didn’t pull any punches.

Here’s how the conversation went:

Mum: What’s wrong Jane? Why are you upset?

Me: It’s my birthday and I wanted to have a great day but I just feel so awful. Everything has gone wrong today. The day has been a total flop.

Mum: Jane, have you had anything to eat?

Me: No.

Mum: You’re hungry! I know what you’re like when you’re hungry. You need to find a place to eat.

Me: But there’s nothing healthy to eat around here . . . there are no healthy options.

Mum: I don’t care. Order something. Anything. You need to eat. Go do that right now!

I found a café that was still open (it was 3:30pm) and ordered a burger from the menu.

When the burger came out 10 minutes later, I felt emotionally wrecked.

But after eating that big, juicy burger, I felt instantly better.

Burger Transformation

A magical transformation had occurred, all thanks to a $15 burger.

The world now felt like a new and different place. I had strength again. With tear-free eyes, a calm mind, and more energy in my system, I got in my car and drove myself home safely.

That experience taught me an important lesson. I learnt I had to stop pushing myself past the point of empty (something I’d done far too often for too many years).

I had to start listening to my body and the signals it was sending me.

Feeling hungry? Have a healthy snack.

Tired? Take a quick nap.

Thirsty? Have a few sips of water.

Sitting for too long and in pain? Get up and move.

Eyes and brain hurting from staring at a screen for too long? Take a break and look out the window.

It also taught me how engaging in small behaviours (tiny habits) can significantly impact how you think and feel.

Here are some of my favourite tiny habits for healthy, calm, and grounded living :
  1. After I wake up, I will put on my gym clothes.
  2. After I put on my gym clothes, I will turn on my treadmill.
  3. After I step on my treadmill, I will move my body for a minimum of 20 minutes.
  4. After I shower, I will warm up my breakfast (overnight oats and berries).
  5. After I finish eating breakfast, I will sit down and do 5 minutes of meditation.
  6. After I finish meditating, I will write down three things I feel grateful for.
  7. When I feel mentally fatigued, I will step away from my work and go outside.
  8. After sitting for 25 minutes, I will walk on my treadmill for 5 minutes.
  9. When I find myself feeling sleepy, I will set a timer for 15 minutes and take a nap.
  10. When I find myself feeling flat, I will hit play on an upbeat song.
  11. After I complete a task, I will have a sip of water.
  12. When I notice I am feeling hungry, I will grab a piece of fruit.
  13. When I get my keys to leave the house, I will put on a n95 mask.
  14. When I see it’s past 8pm, I will plug my phone in to charge in another room and say out loud, “No more screens”.
  15. When I put my head on my pillow, I will pick up my notebook and write down three wins for the day.

 

All of these habits are designed to boost and conserve my energy. That’s the great thing about habits: they conserve your energy by automating your behaviour and combating decision fatigue. As Kevin Kelly states in his book Excellent Advice for Living:

“The purpose of a habit is to remove that action from self-negotiation. You no longer expend energy deciding whether to do it. You just do it.”

Boost your energy

These 15 tiny habits are so deeply ingrained that I do all of them most days. I don’t waste time and energy thinking, “Should I go on the treadmill or stay in bed and read a book?” or “Do I do my gratitude practice or eat breakfast?” I have established a routine of healthy behaviours that work for me.

These tiny habits don’t take long to do, and best of all, they stop me from running out of energy and crashing. I also haven’t been sick in over three years (mainly due to Habit #13: Wearing a n95 mask).

You might be wondering why I’m still wearing a mask when covid restrictions have eased. There are a few reasons: I know several people with long covid (and they are suffering). Their quality of life is not what it once was.

I’ve also read a lot of the research on covid. Research shows covid can cause significant changes in brain structure and function.

This study found that people who had a mild covid infection showed cognitive decline equivalent to a three-point loss in IQ and reinfection resulted in an additional two-point loss in IQ.

Covid and the brain study

Other studies have found covid can disrupt the blood brain barrier and cause inflammation of the brain. Since I rely on my brain to do everything, wearing a n95 mask (not a cloth or surgical mask) is a simple and effective habit I’m happy to keep up to protect my brain and body.

At the end of the day, cultivating healthy habits is about noticing the little (and big) things that make a difference and then experimenting with those things.

For example, Habit #3 (Moving on a treadmill first thing every morning) came about when I noticed the dramatic difference in how I felt on the days I ran on the treadmill compared to the days I didn’t (I felt mildly depressed on the days when I didn’t go for a run).

Habit #4 emerged after I noticed that eating a particular breakfast (overnight oats with berries) made me feel amazingly good compared to having a smoothie or a bowl of processed cereal for breakfast (which would spike my blood sugar levels).

Here’s how I see things . . .

Your health influences everything in life—and I mean absolutely everything. It influences how you interact with the people in your life, how well you learn and focus, your energy levels, and how you do your work.

As Robin Sharma explains in his book The Wealth Money Can’t Buy, health is a form of wealth.

The wealth money can't buy

Sharma writes:

“If you don’t feel good physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, all the money, possessions and fame in the world mean nothing. Lose your wellness (which I pray you never will) and I promise you that you’ll spend the rest of your days trying to get it back.”

One way you can build your wealth is by cultivating tiny healthy habits.

Final Thoughts

As I think back to my younger self, 24 years old and ignoring the warning signs my body was sending me, I can’t help but feel a bit embarrassed. But as Kevin Kelly says, “If you are not embarrassed by your past self, you have probably not grown up”.

I’ve grown up a lot. I’ve come to realise developing awareness and taking time out to step back and reflect are critical to living a healthy, grounded life. When you notice what makes you feel good and not so good, you can make tiny tweaks to improve your life.

If you aim to do more of the things that leave you feeling good and less of the things that leave you feeling depleted and fatigued, you can’t really go wrong.

In the words of Psychologist Dr Faith Harper, “Keeping our brains healthy and holding centre is a radical act of self-care”.

On that note, take a moment to check in with your body. What does it need right now? Could you do something small to treat your body and mind with a little more care? Step away from the screen and do it now.