Arnie says “You can do it!”: How to failproof your goals


As a young bodybuilder with a thick Austrian accent Arnold Schwarzenegger declared to a sports journalist that he was going to be Hollywood’s biggest star.

When he’d accomplished that, his next goal was to enter politics. In 2003, he became the Governor of California and proceeded to implement measures to radically reduce California’s greenhouse gas emissions.

Arnie is a great example of the power of goal setting. Arnie knows how to flex his goal setting muscle. He knows what it takes to get results.

Back in 2015 at the Paris climate talks, Arnie shared one of the secrets to his success: removing the word ‘impossible’ from his vocabulary.

He said this (to hear Arnie say it in his awesome accent, go to 1.48 in this video.

“Ladies and gentlemen, I have heard the word impossible my entire life. I never ever listen to the naysayers. I eliminated the word impossible from my vocabulary. So when people said “It can’t be done”, I did it.”

With the start of the New Year, perhaps it’s time for us to embrace a bit of Arnie’s philosophy. If you removed the word impossible from your vocabulary and you could do anything, what would you do?

Perhaps you’ve already tried to become more organized/productive/healthier, etc but things didn’t work out.

As author and coach M.J. Ryan states when we don’t achieve results overnight “we resign ourselves to staying the same, convinced that we are hopeless, weak and unmotivated- which makes us even more stuck”.

But what many of us don’t realise is that change can be hard. It’s usually a really messy process. You’re going to slip up (many times). That’s just how it goes.

It’s the thought that things should be smooth sailing and easy that leads people to give up too soon.

The good news is there are simple things you can do to boost your chances of sticking to your goals. In her book This Year I Will … M.J. Ryan explores a range of different strategies that can help you to do what’s most important to you and do the things you’ve always wanted to do.

Below are 10 ways you can avoid the pitfalls most people make when it comes to setting new years resolutions/goals.

1. Accept that making change can be awkward

Making change can feel awkward and uncomfortable, especially at the beginning. You shouldn’t interpret this discomfort as a sign that you can’t or shouldn’t stick to your goals.

Remember, you’re trying to change a deeply ingrained habit, which you’ve probably done for many years. Expect that it’s going to feel awkward for a time.

Instead of thinking something is wrong, embrace the discomfort.

For example, as I write this I’m working at my treadmill desk. I’m walking and writing, which feels completely different to sitting and writing. The experience feels a bit like riding a bike for the first time (just not quite as wobbly). It has taken a few sessions to work out the right walking speed to be able to write. But it’s getting easier. After every session, I feel a bit more comfortable walking/working at my treadmill desk.

2. Have a backup plan (and backup plans to your backup plans)

You may have good intentions to take action on your goals every day, but life is unpredictable and does not always go to plan. Don’t use this as an excuse not to take action. You need to have a backup plan.

For example, you could have a goal to exercise every day by walking or going to the gym. If it starts to rain on a walking day, don’t use that as an excuse not to exercise. Your back up plan could be to grab an umbrella and start walking. Pull out a yoga mat and do some stretches in your lounge. Or be flexible with your routine and head to the gym.

Imagining where and how things can go wrong and devising backup plans increases our chances of following through with our intentions.

You may even want to consider devising backup plans to your backup plans!

3. Focus your mind on one thing at a time

The human brain can be easily overwhelmed by taking on too much. Focusing the brain on making one big change at a time can help you to stay focused and take positive action steps forward.

M.J. Ryan suggests giving your year a theme around your goal. For example, this year could be the year of learning to say no or the year of fun/play. Using a frame for your goal can be a powerful reminder and can help to propel you into action.

4. Stop setting unrealistic, over-the-top, crazy goals

I was in the library the other day, browsing through some of the magazines. I couldn’t help but notice some of the bold and ridiculous claims on the covers. Claims such as “Lose 25 kilograms in 30 days”.

According to M.J. Ryan such claims are completely irresponsible. They create unrealistic expectations that lead people to give up on their goals.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s good to aim high. But we need to look at what is going to be realistic and humanly possible given our life circumstances.

You can certainly lose 25 kilograms (if that’s what you want to do). But rather than it taking 25 days, give yourself at least 25 weeks.

5. Discover your success formula

Books can be a wealth of knowledge and provide lots of practical advice and strategies. But they can also leave us feeling mentally overwhelmed.

There is no shortage of books and websites on certain topics. Instead of taking action to achieve your goals, we can get lost in reading rather than the actual doing.

It’s time to stop looking for answers in books and websites.

M.J. Ryan challenges us to explore our own success formula. Here’s how you do it:

Think about some of the things you’ve accomplished in your life (e.g. finishing school, being a good friend and/or learning a particular skill). How did you do these things? What strategies and strengths did you need?

See if you can see any patterns emerging. Bring those key strategies and traits to your next challenge.

6. Go for growth

Stanford researcher Carol Dweck says there are two different mindsets you can have when it comes to learning: a growth or fixed mindset.

A growth mindset will support you to stick at pursuing your goals, whereas a fixed mindset is likely to lead to giving up early on when confronted with the smallest of obstacles.

What does a growth mindset look like?

It’s characterized by a love of learning. A sense of curiosity (What can I learn from this slip up?). Persisting in the face of challenges.

If you have a growth mindset, you think “If I keep at it, I’ll see results. I’ll get better at this”. Effort equals results.

People with a growth mindset also tend to plan out how they’ll achieve their goals by considering what, where, how and when they’ll take action. In contrast, people with a fixed mindset don’t plan and simply say “I’m just going to do it!”. But do what? These vague statements result in people often not accomplishing their goals.

7. Start before you feel ready

The conditions may not be ideal. You may not even feel ready or 100% sure about whether you want to do this. But force yourself to start.

Motivation works in an interesting way. If we waited for motivation to strike before we did anything, chances are nothing would ever get done.

Motivation actually comes from taking action and seeing results. You can read more about this here.

8. Stop asking Why? Start asking What?

“Why do I procrastinate?”, “Why am I so disorganized?” and “Why am I so lazy?”

M.J Ryan says too much navel gazing and asking “why” doesn’t help us to change our behaviour.

It’s far more effective to focus your energy and attention on what you can do to become the person you want to be.

Instead of asking “Why am I so disorganised?”, ask “What do I need to do to be more organised?”

9. Remind yourself of your goal

Sometimes we forget what our goals are. The surrounding environment can be so tempting that what we say we are committed to goes out the window.

For example, one of my goals is to eat healthy foods that nourish my body and mind. But last night when I was at a party I found myself standing near a bowl of potato chips, munching away on them. It wasn’t until I felt a slight pain in my stomach that I was reminded of my goal to eat healthy foods! I stepped away from the bowl of chips and got myself a glass of water.

What could I have done to avoid eating all those chips?

I could have asked my friend to remind me of my healthy eating goal. I could have envisaged the junk food before going to the party and planned to bring my own healthy food. There’s lots of things I could have done, but keeping my goal clear in my mind would have helped me to stay on track.

10. Engineer your environment for change

Set up your home environment so it nudges you towards the behaviours you want to engage in. For instance, if you want to add more movement to your day, why not place a treadmill or exercise bike in front of the television? Or some hand weights and a stretch band next to your desk?

Sure, there’s no guarantee that you will use them, but having them visable can help to remind you of your goal to move more. Having them easily accessible (and not packed away in boxes in a spare room) means you’ve removed some the barriers to using them.

M.J. Ryan suggests ‘temptation proofing’ your environment. Don’t have things in your house that will tempt you to eat badly, waste your time, etc.

Last year I set a goal to decrease my digital distractions. I made my home wifi free during the day. This may sound a little extreme but it meant I was able to focus on writing my doctoral thesis and push through the discomfort. If I had access to the Internet, it would have been too easy to distract myself with funny videos and facebook when things got tough.

What if, armed with these psychological strategies for change, you managed to stick to your goals and see positive (even life changing) results this year? What if you tried removing the word impossible from your vocabulary? Even for just one day?

See what happens. You’ve got nothing to lose.

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At the hairdressers

I’ve had many great conversations while sitting in the hairdresser’s chair.

The other day, I was getting my haircut when my hairdresser told me something her 15-year-old son had said. His words took her completely by surprise. He said:

“Mum, I need to try harder this year.”

I hear those words a lot. Try harder.

I hear them from students who want to do better at school and from teachers who are trying to motivate students (“You need to try harder”).

But what does it actually mean to “try harder”?

The problem is that this advice is too vague and abstract.

If you don’t have a clear picture of what ‘trying harder’ looks like, you’re in dangerous territory because you’re attempting to motivate yourself towards an abstraction.

Tiny Habits by BJ Fogg

In the book Tiny Habits, Professor BJ Fogg explains the problems associated with motivating yourself to achieve a vague goal. He writes:

“You’ve probably seen a well-meaning public-health poster in the doctor’s office that shows lots of colourful vegetables with the headline: EAT THE RAINBOW!

At first glance, you think: Yes, I need to eat better food. But then you’re not sure what practical steps to take. How much green and how much red? That means salad and apples, right? It can’t mean mint ice-cream and red licorice, can it? You are motivated to “eat the rainbow,” but maybe you don’t know how. You feel frustrated and end up being a little hard on yourself.”

I didn’t want my hairdresser’s son to feel frustrated and annoyed with himself. He clearly had good intentions.

I asked my hairdresser, “What does trying harder look like for your son? If he’s trying harder, what is he doing?”

She said she wasn’t sure. So, I kept asking questions.

“Does it look like him sitting down and testing himself with flashcards before a test? Taking notes in class? Listening to the teacher instead of chatting with his mates?”

The answer was clear. She said, “Listening to the teacher! He needs to start listening to his teachers.”

I also mentioned that it would help if he learnt his teachers’ names (you’d be surprised how many teachers tell me their students don’t know their names).

Remembering a teacher’s name, staying focused on what they have to say, resisting distractions, taking notes and reading your textbook may sound easy, but these are skills that require continuous practice.

If you’re not used to doing them, they can feel hard.

Even with years of practice under my belt, understanding new ideas still feels hard. These days, reading feels like weightlifting for my mind!

After getting my haircut, for the next 24 hours, I kept thinking about those words “try harder”.

Something was bugging me about it because I felt it wasn’t helpful to tell yourself to “try harder”. . . and then, like a bolt of lightning, the answer hit me: my hairdresser’s son doesn’t need to try harder. He needs to focus on doing a few specific hard things.

Do hard things

By ‘specific hard things’, I mean concrete behaviours he can do right now (or at a specific point in time) to improve his understanding of his school subjects.

For example, if he wanted to start a home study routine, here are some concrete behaviours I’d recommend he try:

  • Put your phone away from your body in another room
  • Walk or jog for five minutes before sitting down to study
  • Draw a picture of a concept you need to understand for an upcoming test
  • Test yourself with a deck of flashcards
  • Step up to a whiteboard (or grab a large sheet of paper) and use it to explain an idea

 

These are just a few behaviours that come to mind when I think about “trying harder” with your studies.

Doing these concrete behaviours just once won’t make you go from good to great. But you’ll be surprised by how much meaningful progress you can make in a single, effective study session.

Welcome discomfort into your world

We live in a world where comfort and convenience are increasingly normalised. We expect things, including learning, to be easy.

Life wasn't suppose to be easy

You don’t have to cook (thank you Uber Eats).

You don’t have to move (thank you car).

You don’t have to experience boredom (thank you social media and Netflix).

You don’t even have to use your brain anymore (thank you ChatGPT and Claude).

By outsourcing tasks that require physical and cognitive effort, we may save time, but there are hidden costs.

What are the hidden costs?

People are losing their skills, destroying their health, and atrophying their brains, all while being flooded with unhealthy levels of dopamine. I’d even go as far as saying that people are losing their lives and what it means to be human.

In every moment, we have a choice: we can do the easy thing that gives us a quick dopamine hit, or we can do the hard thing that gives us a slow and healthy release of dopamine.

Choose to do hard things

Here are some examples of what I’m talking about . . .

When you wake up, you can scroll on your phone or do some physical activity.

At the end of the day, you can order takeaway that is engineered to light up the reward pathways in your brain, or you can prepare a healthy homemade meal.

When you’ve got a spare 30 minutes, you can watch some YouTube or go for a walk outside.

You can use ChatGPT to write your essay, or you can use your brain and build your skills.

You can talk to an AI chatbot and have a friction-free relationship, or you can organise to meet up with a friend.

Every time you choose the hard thing over the easy thing, you build your confidence. You can trust yourself to do hard things and survive them. Over time, as you build your skills, those hard things don’t feel as hard as they once did.

For instance, if the Internet goes down and you’re not dependent on ChatGPT, you know you’ll be okay. You can rely on yourself to think and entertain yourself (thank you brain).

This is why I’m committing to doing hard things this year. I’m challenging myself, and I know I’ll be better for it.

Just to be clear, I’m not talking about self-harm or inflicting extreme pain on myself.

I’m referring to activities that bring up a cringey discomfort and make me think, “Ahhh, I don’t want to do this!”.

These include activities that require sustained focus and/or mental and physical effort, such as writing an article, going for a run, riding my bike to the shops, and meditating.

How can you get yourself to do hard things if you’ve become used to taking the path of comfort and convenience?

The simplest way is to ease into doing those hard things. Turn those hard things into tiny habits.

Here is a list of tiny habits for hard things I’m focusing on doing:

  • After I wake up and put on my gym clothes, I will make my bed.
  • After I make my bed, I will block myself from accessing addictive apps on my phone and hop on my treadmill.
  • After I hop on my treadmill, I will run for 30 minutes.
  • After I get ready for the day, I will put my phone on silent mode and place it away from my body in another room (far away from my workspace).
  • After I have breakfast, I will do five minutes of meditation.
  • After my meditation session, I will spend five minutes making a plan for the day.
  • After I finish creating my plan, I will use my brain to write for 25 minutes at my treadmill desk.
  • After I finish writing, I will sit down and do 20 minutes of mind mapping.
  • When I need to research a topic, I will use Google and Google Scholar (not ChatGPT).
  • When travelling on public transport, I’ll put my phone away and try to strike up a conversation with a stranger.

 

Some of these things may not seem like much, but all of these behaviours require mental and physical effort. Remember, there’s a much easier alternative: sitting, tapping, swiping, and scrolling on your phone.

For instance, I don’t need to chop vegetables and cook my meals. I could eat out or order food to my door. This would save me time and effort (cooking my meals can feel like a part-time job).

But I know I would suffer at some point (physically, mentally, and financially).

Chopping vegetables and cooking take effort, but it helps me cultivate calm. When done with a focused mind (not listening to podcasts or talking on the phone), I really enjoy these activities.

If I were to outsource these activities, I’d be going backwards, because I’d most likely lose my valuable cooking skills over time.

Similarly, writing articles like this one feels hard. But hard doesn’t mean bad. It’s satisfying to focus my mind, wrestle with ideas, and write.

Many of us mistakenly believe that an easy life is a better life. But it’s not. A life where you are constantly pursuing pleasure and taking the easy path can lead to anhedonia.

What is anhedonia?

Anhedonia is the inability to experience pleasure in things that were once pleasurable (e.g., a homecooked meal or a sunset). Some people describe it as life in greyscale.

Life in greyscale mode

It turns out the more pleasure we pursue, the more pleasure we need and the more pain we experience.

It may sound counterintuitive, but pursuing hard things makes you feel more motivated and more positive about life.

As humans, we want to challenge ourselves. We’re wired for it.

Psychiatrist Dr Anna Lembke encourages us to take on difficult, even painful, activities as a way of “aligning our primitive wiring with our modern ecosystem”. She writes:

“We are survivors. We’re wired for struggle, especially of physical nature. Yet we live in a world in which we’re largely insulated from pain. And not just pain, but also discomfort of any kind. Everything is supplied to us at the touch of a finger. Now we struggle just to get up off the couch. Our modern ecosystem incentivizes inactivity. Inactivity breeds lethargy. Lethargy breeds anxiety and depression. We must fight against this.”

So, forget trying harder. Work out a few hard things you want to do and focus on doing them instead.

 

Do one thing at a time

Over 10 years ago, I interviewed a woman who was addicted to her phone.

For context, she was a sales manager who used a BlackBerry phone for work (a fancy, expensive device at the time).

Every minute of the interview, her phone pinged with a notification or she received an email alert on her laptop. She’d glance at one of her devices and, with a panicked look, say, “I need to answer this!”

It was an awkward and disjointed conversation, full of stops and starts. I have to admit, her behaviour annoyed me. I soon realised I wasn’t the only person feeling this way.

The sales manager mentioned that she had a 4-year-old daughter who would get upset with her.

She told me that her little girl would beg her to put her phone and computer away. She’d tug at her clothes and cry, “Mummy! Mummy! Put your phone away!”

Put your phone away!

I appreciated this woman’s honesty, especially when she said to me:

“On the weekend, I’m with my kids but not truly with them… if you know what I mean”.

I knew exactly what she meant.

That was over 10 years ago. Fast forward to today, and we’re all a bit like that sales manager. But things are a lot worse now.

Instead of being overwhelmed and distracted by phone calls and work emails, we’re dealing with powerful Big Tech companies that hijack our time, energy, and attention.

They’ve made us weak-willed and impulsive.

We’re now in a position where distraction is something we crave rather than put up with.

When we have a gap in our schedule or we have to wait in line, what do most of us do? We reach for our phones without even thinking.

Rather than be alone with our thoughts, we desperately try to fill the space with ‘phone snacks’.

When we feel confused, frustrated, or bored, we run to our devices to escape the discomfort and our brains reward us for doing so.

Every time we switch tasks, our brain releases a little shot of dopamine.

It’s these quick hits of dopamine that train us to crave checking our phones and, ultimately, multitasking.

In an environment of unrestricted tech use, my brain is like a wild monkey. It wants to run around, make a mess, and explore many different things all at once.

Wild monkey brain

I can relate to Dr Nancy Colier when she writes in The Power of Off, the mind on technology is like a “wild, locked-up monkey that’s drunk two bottles of wine chased by a shot of Scotch and been stung by a whole swarm of bees”.

When I start multitasking (and it doesn’t take much to get me going), I feel amped up, frenzied, and agitated. My energy feels a little crazy.

Research shows that as we quickly switch from one task to another, we rapidly deplete our finite mental resources and put our brains under a lot of stress.

But it gets worse . . .

When we multitask, we also experience what researcher Sophie Leroy calls Attention Residue.

In a research paper called Why is it so hard to do my work? Leroy explains Attention Residue as the extent to which your attention is only partially focused on the current activity because a prior activity (the task you rapidly switched from) is still holding part of your attention.

Attention residue paper

Why does this matter?

Leroy’s research found that when you experience Attention Residue, your performance suffers.

It’s as if you’ve taken a big dollop of the previous task and put a thick slather of it all over the current task, thereby making a mess of the present moment.

The quest to be (and stay) present

The good news is we can stop messing with our precious moments by focusing on one task at a time.

In his excellent book Time Surfing, Zen Monk Paul Loomans encourages us to focus on one task at a time, with minimal interruptions, and do it until completion. He says if we do this, we will experience a sense of calm and pleasure in everything we do.

Time Surfing by Paul Loomans

Even tasks we consider boring or mundane (e.g., peeling potatoes or cleaning your room) can be transformed into artistry when you are truly present.

Part of the problem is that we’re often in a rush to get to the next thing on our to-do lists. But as Loomans warns, “Rushing is like gulping down time. You’re not living for now but for later”.

To counter this frenetic urge to race ahead, Loomans suggests that we accept whatever we are doing as “the activity of the moment”. In other words, we view the task before us as the most important thing we can be doing in this moment and we forget the rest.

It’s a simple but powerful mental shift.

I’ve noticed that when I accept whatever I am doing as the thing I should be doing right now, I no longer feel the urge to work with such intense energy. I feel calmer. An added bonus is that when I slow down, I make fewer mistakes and tend to do a better job.

At the heart of it, doing one thing at a time means showing up to life and being present, to the good stuff but also the painful, boring bits.

If you find yourself reaching for your phone more than you’d like, ask yourself this question:

“Am I reaching for my phone to escape the present moment?”

For me, the answer is usually yes. I’m trying to avoid the discomfort of life. But life tends to be more meaningful and enjoyable when I stay fully present to what’s happening around me, with my phone out of sight.

Strategies to help you live with greater intention and focus

Technology will dominate your life, and multitasking will be an issue unless you have strategies to protect your time, energy, and attention.

What motivates me to set limits on my tech use (specifically my phone) is a desire to feel calm, grounded, and focused. I also want to live a life of substance, not one in which I am constantly chasing instant gratification.

Here are the strategies that I am currently practising to help me decrease multitasking and cultivate calm:

1. My phone is out of sight for most of the day

My phone is not within arm's reach

When I’m with someone or working on an important task, I put my phone away and keep it out of sight. I want to be fully present with the person I’m with or the task at hand. Why?

Because attention is how we show others they matter.

When someone is checking their phone in a social situation, it communicates “I’m more interested in what’s happening on this screen than I am in you”.

When I think back to the interview with the sales manager, it would have been a better experience for everyone if she had put her phone on silent, left it in her bag, and closed her laptop.

There would have been fewer times saying “What was the question again?” and “Sorry, I can’t remember what we were talking about”.

We probably would have felt more connected, too.

Note: Even when my phone isn’t within arm’s reach, I can still catch myself rapidly switching between web browsers and tasks. However, I’ve noticed that my multitasking significantly increases when my phone is within arm’s reach.

2. I do intermittent phone fasting

You’ve probably heard of intermittent fasting, where you have a window for eating (e.g., 10am to 6pm). But have you heard of phone fasting?

Phone fasting is a period during the day when your phone is not within reach.

As TJ Power states in The Dose Effect:

“A phone fast enables your dopamine to replenish and creates the opportunity for connection and restoration.”

So, as an experiment, for 30 days, I phone fasted from 8pm until 12noon the next day (allowing myself to make urgent calls if needed). I discovered that this made a big difference to my ability to focus. I also experienced a sense of calm like never before.

3. I create a wish list at the start of the day

At the start of the day, I create a ‘Wish List’ (another wonderful concept from Paul Looman’s Time Surfing book).

I write down all the things I’d like to do in the day, but there’s no pressure to do all of them. I then put the list away, and depending on how I feel, I listen to my intuition and trust myself to choose the right activity to begin with.

Before I start a work session, I also declare what I intend to do (e.g., “Chop vegetables for curry” or “Write for 45 minutes”). If possible, I also like to share what I plan to do with another human (I use an online coworking community called Cave Day to do this).

4. I take regular movement breaks

Regular movement breaks

After every 25-30 minutes of work, I aim to take a short movement break (usually 2-5 minutes in duration). This helps me to stay energised and alert. But most importantly, it gives me a brain boost.

What I wish I had understood when I was younger is that you can’t focus for hours on end. It’s not humanly possible because your brain has a finite amount of attentional resources. This means as you focus on doing a task, your attentional resources get depleted (and if you multitask, you accelerate the depletion even more!).

However, research shows you can boost your attentional resources by taking short breaks or, as Paul Loomans likes to call them, ‘breathers’.

A ‘breather’ is any activity that allows you to get out of your head and grounded in your body.

Some of my favourite breather activities include going for a short walk, chopping vegetables, or riding my bike to pick up a package from the post office. These activities allow my brain and thoughts to roam free.

Although many of us default to checking our phones during breaks, resist the urge. The problem with using your phone on a break is that you’re still in your head. This means you’re churning through your attentional resources instead of replenishing them.

Final thoughts

The sense of calm and pleasure I experience when I stop multitasking and focus on doing one thing at a time is second to none.

But in the age of the Attention Economy, with so many companies trying to hijack our attention, it takes discipline and practice to stay focused.

Without strategies in place to protect your focus, the default will be multitasking and its friends – chaos, stress, and fatigue.

We may not have a 4-year-old child tugging on our clothes when we’re using our phones. But perhaps we should all listen to the wisdom of that little girl and put our phones away.

We all have days when we don’t feel like doing our work.

On these days, the temptation to procrastinate and distract oneself can be strong.

I recently spent a few days with my family in the countryside, where I enjoyed reading by a crackling fire. But when I found myself back home in my office, I struggled to get back into the swing of things.

I was experiencing a full-blown holiday comedown.

For some context, I had printed out the slides for an upcoming presentation that I needed to practise, but I felt resistance every time I looked at the slides.

My mind screamed, “Nooo! I don’t want to practise!”. Without even thinking, I kept pushing the slides away like a toddler smooshing their vegetables around on their plate.

But at some point, I caught myself in the act. Without berating myself, I managed to turn things around and ease into my practice.

In this blog, I’ll share a couple of simple strategies I use to get a better handle on my procrastination and overcome resistance.

 

Strategy 1: Get curious about the resistance

According to Procrastination scholar Tim Pychyl, procrastination isn’t a time management issue. It’s an emotion management issue. If you can get a better handle on your emotions, you’ll have a better handle on procrastination.

Let’s unpack this…

Often, when we procrastinate, it’s because we’re trying to avoid experiencing negative emotions. The task we need to do brings up feelings of discomfort (e.g., boredom, fear, guilt, anxiety, and stress), so we avoid the task to make ourselves feel better.

But avoidance makes no sense when you think about it.

Oliver Burkeman explains the problems associated with avoidance in his book Meditations for Mortals. He writes:

“The more you organise your life around not addressing the things that make you anxious, the more likely they are to develop into serious problems – and even if they don’t, the longer you fail to confront them, the more unhappy time you spend being scared of what might be lurking in the places you don’t want to go. It’s ironic that this is known, in self-help circles, as ‘remaining in your comfort zone’, because there’s nothing comfortable about it. In fact, it entails accepting a constant background tug of discomfort – an undertow of worry that can sometimes feel useful or virtuous, though it isn’t – as the price you pay to avoid a more acute spike of anxiety.”

Dutch Zen Monk Paul Loomans labels the tasks we avoid as ‘gnawing rats’. He says these tasks “eat away at you under the surface”.

Have you noticed that whenever you try to avoid a task, it’s usually still on your mind, using up your precious mental resources?

That’s what Loomans means by the task eating away at you under the surface.

Why does he use the peculiar term ‘gnawing rat’? Looman’s daughter used to have pet rats that would eat loudly under his bed, keeping him awake at night.

Loomans explains that if you can befriend your gnawing rats, you can transform them into white sheep. Just like a white sheep follows you around passively, once you transform a task into a white sheep, it’s a lot easier to make a start.

The question is, how do you transform a ‘gnawing rat’ (a task you are avoiding) into a white sheep?

The key is to approach procrastination from a place of curiosity.

Loomans suggests creating a positive, open relationship with the task you’ve been avoiding. You need to sit with it or visualise the task. Instead of giving yourself a hard time, get curious about why you have such a strained relationship with this task.

Loomans advises:

“… you’re not being asked to immediately do whatever it is that’s gnawing at you. The assignment is only to establish a relationship with it. You let all the various facets sink in and then let them go again.

The rat no longer gnaws at you, and it has settled down. It’s no longer trying to get your attention, but follows quietly behind. It now has white legs and curly fleece – it’s turned into a white sheep.”

I decided to follow Looman’s advice with this presentation I had been avoiding. To begin with, I pulled out my slides and I just sat with them.

I closed my eyes, tuned into my body and asked myself:

“Why am I feeling resistance towards practising this presentation? What’s going on?”

Within 30 seconds, the answer came to me. The resistance came from how I thought I’d feel after doing my speech practice: exhausted and emotionally depleted.

You see, when I practice a presentation, I typically go into turbocharge mode. It’s like I’m delivering the real thing: I gesticulate, project my voice, pace around the room, and rely on my memory and the pictures on my slides to remember the content (I don’t refer to my notes).

All of this takes a lot of mental and physical effort.

So, naturally, when I looked at my slides for this one-hour presentation, I felt flat and heavy.

I equated one hour of presentation practice with having a fried brain by the end.

But then I had a brilliant idea. I thought, “What if this practice session didn’t have to feel like a hard slog? What if it could be fun, light and easy but still effective? What would that look like?”

It immediately occurred to me that I had to shorten my practice session, which brings me to the next strategy . . .

Strategy 2: Go Tiny

To keep my practice session fun, light and easy, I settled on doing just five minutes of speech practice.

Instead of pacing around my office and practising in turbocharge mode for an hour, I sat myself down with a hot chocolate. I set a timer for five minutes, pulled out a mini whiteboard and started recalling the content (scribbling out and drawing pictures of what I needed to say).

When the timer went off, I checked my notes to see how I went (What did I remember? What did I forget to say?).

Then, I checked in with myself – “How am I feeling after that mini practice session?”. Instead of feeling depleted, I was feeling good! I felt less overwhelmed by this presentation. The resistance had subsided. As Paul Loomans would say, the presentation had transformed from a gnawing rat into a white sheep!

I felt excited, even a little inspired.

I could have easily kept practising for another 10-20 minutes, but I decided to give myself a break to re-energise (I got up and walked on the treadmill for 2 minutes).

This gave me insight into the need to vary the intensity and mode of each study session, depending on my energy levels and what I have planned for the rest of the day. Sometimes it’s good to go into turbocharge mode, but not always.

Not every study/work session has to be hardcore. Work sessions that leave you feeling completely drained by the end can be counterproductive. As Professor BJ Fogg says, “Tiny is mighty”.

Why are tiny study sessions powerful?

Firstly, tiny study sessions are less scary for your brain. Five minutes of speech practice and flashcard practice feels easy. You think, “I can do 5 minutes!”.

In contrast, one hour of study feels scary for your brain, which means you’re more likely to procrastinate.

When you go tiny, it’s also easier to give your full focus to the task at hand. Here’s the thing about focus: focusing your mind takes a lot of your brainpower. And you have a limited supply of brainpower!

As you sit there and study, your brainpower gets depleted. But research shows one way to boost your attentional resources (i.e. your brainpower) is by taking regular breaks. If you study in short focused bursts and then take a break, you can stay refreshed and ensure your study sessions are effective.

But most importantly, tiny study sessions help to create momentum, and they leave you feeling good!

I tend to push myself to the point of exhaustion when I practise my talks. But I can see now that this makes it hard for me to want to practise in the future.

By dedicating just 5–10 minutes to the task and enjoying it, I’m more likely to do another 5 minutes (or more) of practice tomorrow. Doing five minutes of practice every day is infinitely better than doing no practice or cramming a long practice session in the day before.

To sum up

You’re not going to go from good to great in one tiny study session. But you can make meaningful progress and create the momentum you need to keep going.

So, don’t turn your nose up at five minutes of flashcard practice or 10 minutes of doing a practice test. If done with focus and intention, that’s a solid study session that can set you on the path to success.

 

Image credit:

Toddler (featured in image 2): “Skeptical” by quinn.anya is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0.

Rat: “Fancy rat blaze” by AlexK100 is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0.