These images can mess with our minds, resulting in stress, unrealistic expectations and a fear of trying new things (“What if I stuff up?”).
But there’s a simple technique you can practise to help you rise above all the stress and chaos of life. It’s called …
Dan Harris in his book 10% Happier describes meditation as being “rigorous exercise for the brain”. He says:
“You can sculpt your brain through meditation just as you can build and tone your body through exercise – to grow grey matter the way doing curls grows your biceps.”
I meditate every morning. And you should know this …
Like many people in this fast paced world, I have struggled to sit and focus on my breath going in and out… in and out …
When I first started meditating, here’s what would race through my mind:
“How am I going to do this until the timer goes off?”
“I’m not in the mood for this …”
“I’m terrible at this.”
But I forced myself to keep at it. And now it’s an essential part of my daily routine.
Because it’s one of the best ways to give your brain a rest from technology and information overload. It’s also a fantastic way to improve your ability to focus and lower your stress levels.
When you practise meditation on a regular basis, you’re less likely to freak out when life throws challenges your way. You start to notice that things don’t bother you as much as they usually do.
Instead of automatically freaking out about something, you pause and think:
You also become more aware of patterns of thinking and behaviour (i.e. worries, memories, and strong urges that your mind keeps returning to). You can notice where your mind is going and decide that you’re not going to go there (e.g. “I feel the urge to check social media but I don’t need to do that right now.”).
In short, meditation helps you to strengthen and take control of your brain.
But not only that, research has found meditation can extend your lifespan.
A study by Jacobs et al (2011) looked at the connection between practising meditation, psychological factors and telomerase activity. This study involved a group of 30 participants going on a meditation retreat. They had to meditate for 6-hours a day for 3-months.
By the end of the 3-months, the meditators had significantly greater telomerase activity than the control group (the non meditators). The researchers concluded that this had implications for telomere length.
So you may be thinking …
Telomeres are protective DNA sequences at the end of chromosomes. They ensure genomic stability during cellular replication. But the thing about your telomeres is they shorten under conditions of psychological stress. And as your telomeres start to get shorter, your cells start to age and you get sicker.
But the study by Jacobs et al (2011) found practising meditation could help restore DNA and build longer telomeres as a result of increased telomerase activity (i.e. an enzyme which creates new telomeres).
As Nobel Prize winner Elizabeth Blackburn and Elissa Epel state in their book The Telomere Effect:
“You have the power to influence whether your telomeres are going to shorten early, or whether they are going to stay supported and healthy.”
Meditation seems to be one promising pathway to healthier and longer telomeres!
So forget purchasing expensive anti-ageing skin creams and supplements. It’s time to start meditating!
Step 1. Sit comfortably. You can sit in a chair or you can sit cross-legged on the floor – take your pick. Wriggle around before you get started to find a position that feels good for you.
Step 2. Focus on your breath. Feel your breath going in and out…in and out…
Step 3. When a random thought enters your mind, just notice it, let it go and return your attention to your breath.
Expect that all kinds of random thoughts will enter your mind while you meditate (e.g. “What’s for dinner?” or “I need a haircut.”). Don’t panic. This is normal.
The key thing is to keep at it. You’ve got to meditate daily to experience the benefits. The hardest part about the whole process is remembering to sit down and do it. This is where habits can help.
There are a few strategies that have helped me to establish a regular meditation habit. Here’s what has worked for me:
You need to see or hear something that will remind you to stop whatever you’re doing and meditate. It could be an alarm going off, a screensaver message or a note on your fridge door.
What do you do everyday without fail? What habits have you already established? Pick a habit and attach your meditation practice to the end of it. For example, “When I finish brushing my teeth, I will meditate for 5 minutes”.
Before most meditation sessions, I make my favourite chocolate blueberry smoothie. I sit down on my couch and place the smoothie next to my feet. I set my meditation timer for 10 minutes, scheduling gongs to go off every 3 minutes.
Every time a gong goes off, I treat myself to a couple of sips of smoothie. This is my reward (“I just meditated for 3 minutes. Woohoo!”).
When you first start meditating it helps to have someone guide you through the process. This is where meditation apps, CDs and online courses can be really handy. Check out the following:
Meditation app: 10% happier
Meditation app: Smiling mind
Free online course: Mindfulness for wellbeing and peak performance (Monash University)
If you find yourself thinking random thoughts instead of focusing on your breath, relax! The key is to not get bogged down when you get distracted.
Just notice the thought, let it go and return your focus back to your breath.
Don’t even attempt to do a 30-minute meditation on day 1 of your meditation journey. Keep your meditations short. Here’s what your meditation schedule might look like:
Day 1: 20 second meditation
Day 2: 2 minute meditation
Day 3: 3 minute meditation
Day 4: 3 minute meditation
Day 5: 3 minute meditation
When you feel ready, push yourself to do 5 minutes.
This means you don’t need to keep looking at your watch and you won’t be constantly thinking, “Is the meditation over?”. Outsource these thoughts to your timer.
Weighted blankets are extra heavy blankets made from micro glass bead fill. When I place the weighted blanket on my lap, it grounds me (I’m less likely to get up and stop the meditation). The blanket also helps me to relax, so I find I can go deeper into my meditation practice. I highly recommend the Australian made weighted blankets produced by Calming Moments.
If you’ve never meditated before, start small and do a little practice everyday. You may not feel the benefits immediately, but persevere. As Dr Dzung says in his book The Mindful Teen, “Keep at it … you may think it’s not working but your brain is growing and developing in ways that you can’t recognise right away”.
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But just to be clear – this car wasn’t in bad shape when I first got it. I turned this car into a jalopy through neglect and ignoring basic warning signs.
Whenever I gave my friends a lift in this car, I remember that they always looked visibly uncomfortable. They’d say with a nervous laugh:
“Jane, what’s that strange rattling sound?”
“Why is there a red warning light on your dashboard?”
I wasn’t fussed about the red light or the strange rattling sound.
Somehow, I’d missed the adulting lesson on basic car maintenance.
For many years, I never bothered to get my car serviced. I drove it to the point where it rattled and shook violently, the engine would cut out while driving, and the brakes squealed at a painfully high pitch.
It got to the point where I could no longer ignore these problems, but by then, it was too late. My car was beyond repair and could only be salvaged for scrap metal.
I’m embarrassed to share this, as that’s no way to treat a car that gets you from A to B and uses the Earth’s finite resources. But stay with me because there’s an important point I want to make, and it’s this. . .
When I was younger, I engaged in several unhealthy lifestyle practices. Whilst I never smoked, took drugs, or consumed alcohol, I ate huge amounts of processed junk food (I didn’t know how to cook).
I also frequently sacrificed sleep to pull all-nighters to complete my assignments (I struggled with procrastination).
My body seemed resilient. It appeared capable of handling the shocks. But over time, I started feeling tired and rundown. Still, I kept pushing myself like my old car. The only time I could rest was when I got sick.
These days, everything’s quite different.
I am physically unable to thrash my body around like an old jalopy.
Something as simple as consuming too much salt or sugar can send my brain spiralling out of control.
I was reminded of this a couple of weeks ago when I visited a friend in hospital. Because I was spending a lot of time at the hospital, my usual routines of grocery shopping and cooking from scratch were disrupted.
But then to make matters worse, I was given $80 worth of vouchers to spend at the hospital cafeteria. I thought, “How bad can hospital cafeteria food be?”.
It turns out really bad.
Cheese kranskys (sausages), heaps of salty hot chips, deep-fried chicken, and soft drinks were the main options at this hospital cafeteria.
Unhealthy food seemed completely normalised in this hospital environment. My jaw dropped when I saw a patient order not just one but five cheese kransky sausages!
In this hospital setting, I also started to eat poorly. It was on my third day of eating hot chips from the hospital cafeteria when I noticed that these chips weren’t doing me any favours. I was feeling off my game.
So I decided enough was enough. I gave the remaining hospital food vouchers to a homeless man who was hanging around the cafeteria, desperate for a feed. It was back to home cooked meals for me!
This greasy processed hospital food had a ripple effect on the rest of my life. I slept badly, which impacted my ability to run the next morning (my joints hurt). I felt resistance to using my treadmill desk because everything felt much harder than usual. Since I was moving less, I was more distracted.
I know all this might sound a bit dramatic, especially to those of us who enjoy a few hot chips (e.g., my husband). Given my friend was in a hospital bed and couldn’t walk, I am fully aware of how lucky I am to be able to run in the first place (even with sore joints).
The point I’m trying to make is this . . .
I also know that small decisions, like eating too many hot chips or staying up late, can add up and take their toll on your mind and body. These tiny decisions can have a big impact on the way you feel.
When I was younger, I could eat whatever I wanted and still feel pretty good. Sometimes I’d feel a bit off, but not in a noticeable way.
As Dr Randy J Paterson states in his book How to Be Miserable in Your Twenties:
“In your twenties, some people can do practically anything to their bodies, experience no immediate physical consequences, and feel emotionally more or less well. Random sleep cycle, sedentary lifestyle, lousy diet, 90 percent of the day staring at screen, binge-drinking, isolation, the works. The body doesn’t completely fall apart, and the mind, while not thrilled, hangs on.
Later on, the effect is more immediate. Live exactly the same way at thirty-five, at forty-five, and things don’t go so well. Take a middle-aged car and drive it aggressively down jolting roads, loaded to the max, old oil clogging the engine, and it’s not going to last long. The baseline mood at forty-with no maintenance, no exercise, no dietary adjustment, no stability, and no social life- is misery. ”
Like a car, the human body requires regular basic maintenance. I see this basic maintenance as a collection of small behaviours that leave me feeling calm, grounded, and focused.
Here are a few things I need to do to keep myself running smoothly:
Every now and then, I’ll abandon these behaviours. I’ll have a day where I eat and do whatever I like. I’ll order takeaway, sit on the couch and binge-watch a series until late at night. I usually pay for it the next day, but it also gives me a better appreciation of these healthy practices and what they do for my body and mind.
It’s all about tuning in and noticing how certain things make you feel. For example, when I was in my mid-20s, I noticed every time I ate deep-fried chicken, I experienced sharp stomach pains.
That was like the red warning light on my car dashboard going off in my body. But instead of ignoring it, I paid close attention. Eventually, I decided it wasn’t worth the pain. So I stopped buying greasy deep-fried chicken and eventually went plant-based, which immediately improved my mental and physical health.
There’s no doubt that modern life can be hectic and stressful. When you’re rushing from one thing to another, it’s easy to overlook the basics and ignore the warning signs.
I’m not proud of how I treated my first car, but I learnt from the experience. Now I make sure I get my car serviced regularly. This saves me time, money, and stress in the long run.
Similarly, we need to pay attention to the way in which we look after ourselves. By dedicating time, energy, and attention to the small things that make us feel better, our experience of the present moment becomes richer. As longevity researcher Dan Buettner says, “You can add years to your life and life to your years”.
“Suzuki Swift 1.3 GTi 1990” by RL GNZLZ is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0. (used in image 1)
“Scrap yard 22l3” by Snowmanradio at English Wikipedia (Original text: snowmanradio) is licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0. (used in image 2)
“KFC Wicked Wings” by avlxyz is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0. (used in image 5)
I experienced this firsthand when I was an exchange student living abroad. When I was 16, I travelled to the south of Italy to live in a small village called Spinazzola.
This had been my dream, and my parents forked out over $2,000 to make it come true (thanks, Mum and Dad!).,
I wanted to make the most of this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, so I set off with an ambitious goal to come back fluent in Italian.
Before I left for Italy, several people had told me that I would pick up the language “just like that!”. I was told that I’d be fluent in no time.
I took their words as gospel truth.
So I became concerned when, after just a few days in Italy, I wasn’t speaking like the locals. I thought, “Why am I not fluent in Italian by now? What’s going on? Is something wrong with me?”
Panic and worry set in. I became stuck in an anxiety loop. Thoughts rolled through my head, such as:
“Am I learning the language fast enough?”
“Am I going to come back knowing enough?”
“How will I compare to the other Australian exchange students? What if my Italian sucks?”
This anxiety spilled over into almost every amazing experience I found myself in: a trip to the local pizzeria with my new friends from school, family dinners, and day trips with other exchange students.
To counteract my fears, I doubled down on my study, carrying a mini pocket Italian dictionary with me everywhere I went (this was well before mobile phones and Google Translate existed).
About a month into my student exchange experience, out of the blue, a young man snatched the pocket dictionary out of my hands.
This man was called Gianluca. He was my host sister’s 18-year-old cousin who had travelled with his parents from Milan to spend Christmas with my host family.
Gianluca was a character. He had wild, voluminous curly hair, a cheeky smile, and a sense of style.
Gianluca was also a slightly arrogant man. He would say whatever was on his mind, seemingly without caring if he upset or offended others.
For example, one of my first interactions with Gianluca was when I sat down on a stool, thereby exposing my white socks. He gasped loudly and said in Italian:
“Jane Christine, white socks with black shoes is a fashion crime! No, No, No!”
I took his words very seriously and have never repeated this fashion faux pas.
But it was the moment when Gianluca snatched the dictionary out of my hands that I remember more than anything else. This moment had a profound impact on the rest of my exchange experience, and I am deeply grateful to him for that.
It was late in the evening. A group of us had been talking and playing Italian card games. Remember, these were simpler times (there were very few mobile phones back in those days and no social media).
I was struggling to follow the conversation in Italian, so I picked up my dictionary to look up a word, but Gianluca stopped me. He grabbed hold of the dictionary and said:
“Put the dictionary down. You don’t need this! Just be here in this moment!”
Gianluca was trying to tell me to relax. To stop hiding behind my dictionary. To stop trying so hard to learn Italian.
He was right. Sometimes, when you try too hard and are too fixated on achieving a future goal, it can get in the way of actually doing what you need to do (in my case, learning Italian).
Oliver Burkeman writes about this in his book Meditations for Mortals. He argues that there are benefits in not trying so hard. He writes:
“The less I’m trying to get something out of an experience, the more I find I can get into it, and the more I can be present for other people involved.”
Those first few weeks in Italy, I had been trying too hard to master the language and get the most out of my student exchange experience. I was trying to frantically get to a place where I could tick the ‘Fluent in Italian’ box.
I can now see clearly that by trying so hard to learn Italian, I was sacrificing my enjoyment in the present moment. I was also undermining my ability to learn Italian.
You’ve probably heard the phrase “La Dolce Vita”. This directly translates to “The Sweet Life”.
But what it means is a relaxed, easy-going approach to life. An approach where you enjoy the simple things: a hearty, simple meal shared with your family, a reviving nap in the middle of the day, and an evening stroll (‘passeggiatta’) down the main street with friends.
Whenever I picked up my dictionary, which was frequently during those first few weeks in Italy, I embodied the polar opposite of “La Dolce Vita”. I transformed a potentially fun, rich moment into an anxiety-fuelled study session.
I also took myself out of the present moment. And effective learning (and living) is all about being present.
Gianluca’s words – “Put the dictionary down!” – hit home. That evening, I put my pocket dictionary away and gave up on trying to master Italian in a day. I took the pressure off myself and relaxed into the experience.
Soon after, I asked my host mother Rosa if I could join a local exercise class. I knew that movement always made me feel better. It relaxed me. I was so happy when Mamma Rosa agreed.
At this class, I’d slip on some special socks over my shoes and slide from side to side on a slippery mat (a slide board).
I took this crazy exercise class with a bunch of middle-aged Italian women wearing spandex and leg warmers (it was Winter). Occasionally, someone would lose control on their slide board and fall to the ground.
For 60 minutes, I was able to get out of my head and get grounded in my body. This exercise class, as strange as it was, made all the difference. It relieved my anxiety and fears straightaway. It calmed my mind and made me feel like I was doing okay.
Ironically, once I felt calmer and less pressured to ‘learn Italian’, I started to pick things up. Learning the language became easier and easier. It didn’t happen in an instant. But it was happening. Slowly but surely, my language skills improved.
When I came back to Australia, I hadn’t mastered Italian (can you ever really master anything?), but I could hold a solid conversation with my nonna in Australia.
The whole student exchange experience fundamentally changed me. I learnt so much more than just Italian.
I learnt the power of a good nap after lunch (strictly enforced by my host mother), the importance of connection and community, and that if you’re having pasta, you must mop up the last bit of sauce with some bread (this Italian tradition is called ‘scarpetta’).
But I also learned not to try so hard. Instead of rushing to get to a specific destination, it’s okay to just explore, learn, and grow at your own pace.
“Mappa ferr Spinazzola-Barletta” (Used in Image 1) by Arbalete is licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0
While I always kept an eye on the amount of petrol in the tank, I also needed to pay close attention to my own personal energy levels.
It was important to avoid pushing myself past empty and depleting my energy reserves because if I did, I would end up feeling emotionally wrecked.
I clearly remember one day when I pushed myself too hard. Looking back, it seems comical now. But I wasn’t laughing at the time.
It was my 24th birthday. I had woken up that morning with great intentions, thinking “It’s my birthday! Let’s make it a great day!”
I was trying too hard to make it a “great day”. I was forcing it, and perhaps that’s partly why everything went pear-shaped. Here’s what happened . . .
I had a school presentation later that day, so I spent the morning preparing for it before driving over an hour to deliver the presentation.
The time slot for the talk wasn’t ideal—my talk was scheduled for the last period on a Friday afternoon—but I was thinking, “Hey! It’s my birthday. Let’s make it a great day!”
What can I say?
The session didn’t go well.
There were IT issues and the students’ minds were elsewhere. But you couldn’t blame the students. They were tired and I was the only thing standing between them and the weekend.
When I wrapped up the session, I felt tired and hungry.
But I foolishly ignored my body’s needs. On an empty stomach, I began the long drive home. I was desperate to get back and be in my own space.
Within 10 minutes, I found myself stuck in peak-hour traffic. But I wasn’t just stuck in traffic; I was also stuck in an anxiety loop.
Psychologist Risa Williams explains an anxiety loop as “a negative thought cycle that makes you feel stuck in a rut”. You can’t rationalise your way out of an anxiety loop. Logic doesn’t cut it.
I kept thinking about how the talk could have gone better, why my birthday had been such a flop . . . these annoying tunes kept playing over and over in my mind and they kept getting louder and louder.
I was about halfway home when something unexpected happened: I began sobbing uncontrollably behind the wheel of my car. I just felt incredibly sad.
I realised it was dangerous to drive while crying, so I pulled over and called my mum.
My mum and I would chat on the phone most days, but I remember this conversation especially well because my mum didn’t pull any punches.
Mum: What’s wrong Jane? Why are you upset?
Me: It’s my birthday and I wanted to have a great day but I just feel so awful. Everything has gone wrong today. The day has been a total flop.
Mum: Jane, have you had anything to eat?
Me: No.
Mum: You’re hungry! I know what you’re like when you’re hungry. You need to find a place to eat.
Me: But there’s nothing healthy to eat around here . . . there are no healthy options.
Mum: I don’t care. Order something. Anything. You need to eat. Go do that right now!
I found a café that was still open (it was 3:30pm) and ordered a burger from the menu.
When the burger came out 10 minutes later, I felt emotionally wrecked.
But after eating that big, juicy burger, I felt instantly better.
The world now felt like a new and different place. I had strength again. With tear-free eyes, a calm mind, and more energy in my system, I got in my car and drove myself home safely.
That experience taught me an important lesson. I learnt I had to stop pushing myself past the point of empty (something I’d done far too often for too many years).
I had to start listening to my body and the signals it was sending me.
Feeling hungry? Have a healthy snack.
Tired? Take a quick nap.
Thirsty? Have a few sips of water.
Sitting for too long and in pain? Get up and move.
Eyes and brain hurting from staring at a screen for too long? Take a break and look out the window.
It also taught me how engaging in small behaviours (tiny habits) can significantly impact how you think and feel.
All of these habits are designed to boost and conserve my energy. That’s the great thing about habits: they conserve your energy by automating your behaviour and combating decision fatigue. As Kevin Kelly states in his book Excellent Advice for Living:
“The purpose of a habit is to remove that action from self-negotiation. You no longer expend energy deciding whether to do it. You just do it.”
These 15 tiny habits are so deeply ingrained that I do all of them most days. I don’t waste time and energy thinking, “Should I go on the treadmill or stay in bed and read a book?” or “Do I do my gratitude practice or eat breakfast?” I have established a routine of healthy behaviours that work for me.
These tiny habits don’t take long to do, and best of all, they stop me from running out of energy and crashing. I also haven’t been sick in over three years (mainly due to Habit #13: Wearing a n95 mask).
You might be wondering why I’m still wearing a mask when covid restrictions have eased. There are a few reasons: I know several people with long covid (and they are suffering). Their quality of life is not what it once was.
I’ve also read a lot of the research on covid. Research shows covid can cause significant changes in brain structure and function.
This study found that people who had a mild covid infection showed cognitive decline equivalent to a three-point loss in IQ and reinfection resulted in an additional two-point loss in IQ.
Other studies have found covid can disrupt the blood brain barrier and cause inflammation of the brain. Since I rely on my brain to do everything, wearing a n95 mask (not a cloth or surgical mask) is a simple and effective habit I’m happy to keep up to protect my brain and body.
At the end of the day, cultivating healthy habits is about noticing the little (and big) things that make a difference and then experimenting with those things.
For example, Habit #3 (Moving on a treadmill first thing every morning) came about when I noticed the dramatic difference in how I felt on the days I ran on the treadmill compared to the days I didn’t (I felt mildly depressed on the days when I didn’t go for a run).
Habit #4 emerged after I noticed that eating a particular breakfast (overnight oats with berries) made me feel amazingly good compared to having a smoothie or a bowl of processed cereal for breakfast (which would spike my blood sugar levels).
Your health influences everything in life—and I mean absolutely everything. It influences how you interact with the people in your life, how well you learn and focus, your energy levels, and how you do your work.
As Robin Sharma explains in his book The Wealth Money Can’t Buy, health is a form of wealth.
Sharma writes:
“If you don’t feel good physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, all the money, possessions and fame in the world mean nothing. Lose your wellness (which I pray you never will) and I promise you that you’ll spend the rest of your days trying to get it back.”
One way you can build your wealth is by cultivating tiny healthy habits.
As I think back to my younger self, 24 years old and ignoring the warning signs my body was sending me, I can’t help but feel a bit embarrassed. But as Kevin Kelly says, “If you are not embarrassed by your past self, you have probably not grown up”.
I’ve grown up a lot. I’ve come to realise developing awareness and taking time out to step back and reflect are critical to living a healthy, grounded life. When you notice what makes you feel good and not so good, you can make tiny tweaks to improve your life.
If you aim to do more of the things that leave you feeling good and less of the things that leave you feeling depleted and fatigued, you can’t really go wrong.
In the words of Psychologist Dr Faith Harper, “Keeping our brains healthy and holding centre is a radical act of self-care”.
On that note, take a moment to check in with your body. What does it need right now? Could you do something small to treat your body and mind with a little more care? Step away from the screen and do it now.
Dr Jane Genovese delivers interactive and engaging study skills sessions for Australian secondary schools. She has worked with thousands of secondary students, parents, teachers and lifelong learners over the past 15 years.
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