A conversation I had with a friend last year nicely illustrates this point. We were discussing the year ahead and he said –

“This year is going to be better than last. This year I’m going to be fit and healthy. No more smoking!”

A moment later, he pulled out a cigarette, lit it up and took a puff.

Naturally, some of us have become cynical about new year’s resolutions. “They don’t work” and “Don’t waste your time with them” I hear my friends and family say.

But research findings indicate that we may have underestimated the power of new year’s resolutions. A longitudinal study by Norcross, Ratzin and Payne tracked over 200 people and the progress of their new year’s resolutions. They asked themselves the research question “How long would these people last in sticking to their new years resolutions?”

The results were impressive. Over 77% of participants had kept their main resolutions after 1 week, 55% after 1 month and 40% after 6 months.

This study also looked at the factors and strategies people used to stick to their new year’s resolutions and examined the effectiveness of each.

There appeared to be two main factors that predicted people’s success when it came to sticking to their goals. Firstly, people had to be ready to change and take action. Simply having a strong desire to change wasn’t enough. Secondly, they had to believe that they could. Having confidence in their ability to change their behaviour was key.

We can also look to people who have successfully overcome powerful addictions (e.g. alcoholism and smoking) for insights into how to break bad habits and develop healthier ones.

The researcher Glasgow and his team followed over 100 people who were trying to quit smoking. Those that managed to do so, used more positive self-talk than those that failed to quit.

For example, instead of saying positie statements such as “I’ll feel great and be able to breathe more easily”, they’d say “I’ll be a loser if I can’t quit the smokes”. Positive self talk appears to make a huge difference.

“Stimulus control” and “reinforcement management” are other psychobabble terms that are used to explain strategies that can help you to change your behaviour. According to behavioural psychologists, the surrounding environment shapes human behaviour.

In other words, if you have an endless supply of chocolates and lollies in your pantry, then most likely you’re going to eat them and may even develop a sugar addiction. Similarly, if your friends and family always offer you cake and chocolate and even praise you for eating these foods (i.e. reinforcement), then it’s highly likely you’re going to develop some bad habits.

The idea behind stimulus control is really quite simple. Look around and ask yourself “What is triggering me to eat chocolate?” (i.e. what’s the stimulus or trigger of the undesirable behaviour?) It may be the sight of the chocolate on your desk. So then what? Get rid of the chocolate. Throw it in the bin and don’t buy any more. Too easy.

But what about that big Aunt who always force feeds you her chocolates as a way of expressing her love, and gives you boxes of the stuff for Christmas? Well, according to behavioural psychology you need to manage the stimulus and reinforcer, which means Bye Bye Aunty. Stop seeing her.

But if you’re like me and you know you just couldn’t do that, this is where the power of impis come in.

Impis (short for implementation intentions) take the form of “If…then…” statements and allow you to make a desired behaviour automatic. For example, I could set myself the impi of –

If my aunt offers me chocolates, then I will politely say “No thanks”.

The beauty of impis is that they are pre-decisions. This means you have made the decision before the situation arises, so the next time you see your aunt you immediately know what you’ll say and do. “No thanks”.

Here’s the thing, I don’t smoke. I don’t drink alcohol. In fact, I’m pretty fit and healthy but I’m not going to pretend that my life is perfect because it isn’t.

Like most people, I want 2012 to be better than previous years. There’s room for improvement. I know that I spend more time than I would like on the internet. So I’m resolving to cut back on my internet use. No internet before 10:30am. Checking emails only twice a day.

In a nutshell, the research is clear – new year’s resolutions can and do work. Now is as good a time as any to establish some healthier habits for a happier year. So what are you setting out to create for the new year? Let me know by posting a comment below.

In her book “Mindfulness” Langer argues that from a young age we are taught to focus on goals rather than the process by which they are achieved.

With such an intense focus on achieving goals and high results you may have become locked in a certain way of thinking. “Mindless” is how Langer describes this state.

Instead of asking “How do I do this?” or “How can I do this?” you find yourself anxiously thinking “Can I do this?” and “What if I fail?”. The joy of learning ceases to exist.

It can be tough being a student in a highly competitive, results oriented school system. As Author and Educator Allison Zmuda states -

“In their efforts to do well in school, students have largely become low level bureaucrats who complete the requisite paperwork but suffer from the monotony of the experience”.

Sadly, this was the case for me. In high school I was a rote learning parrot. Bored out of my brain but extremely driven.

Did I care about whether I had a deep understanding of my subjects? No, not at all. All I wanted were gold stars, high percentages and the letter A on my work.

Then almost overnight everything changed.

I got 1 out of 20 on my first test at Law school.

That’s right. 1 out of 20. And boy, did that hurt.

High school had trained me to become a masterful rote learner, capable of churning out hundreds of abstract, sterile facts. But this skill no longer served me well in a system that required you to have a deep understanding of complex ideas.

In my heartbreak of receiving such a lousy mark, I remember asking myself –

“What is the point of going through another 5 years of study if it’s only for a piece of paper? Is there any point if I don’t enjoy myself and grow as a person?”

At that point I let go of my obsession with results. I became fascinated by the process of learning (eg. How does one learn information at a deep level?). For the first time in my life I started to enjoy learning. I mean really enjoy learning. Some subjects gave me such joy and changed my entire outlook on life.

10 years later, I am now doing my PhD. My uncle would call me a “professional student” but I don’t see it that way. I love learning.

I spend my days exploring original ideas that fascinate me. It’s common for me to stumble across an idea that makes me want to scream out with joy. I only wish it hadn’t taken me so long to arrive at this point.

When you shift your focus from results to the process, not only do you experience greater happiness and fulfilment, but you stop comparing yourself to others. I’m sure you’ve had the experience where you compared yourself to another person and subsequently, felt jealous.

Langer argues that often when we feel jealous of another’s accomplishments it’s because we focus on the end result (not the process the person has gone through).

When I first started my PhD I would compare myself to a 70 year old accomplished professor. I found myself thinking “He is so smart”, “Look at these articles he has written…I can’t write like this” and “His ideas are so deep…I’m so simple”.

Here I was embarking on the beginning of my research career comparing myself to a professor who had been developing and thinking about ideas for over 50 years!

This is indeed a trap that many postgraduate students fall into. Langer states –

“They begin their dissertations with inordinate anxiety because they have seen other peoples completed and polished work and mistakenly compare it to their own first tentative steps.

With their noses deep in file cards and half-baked hypotheses, they look in awe at Dr So-and-Sos published book as if it had been born without effort or false starts, directly from brain to printed page.

By investigating how someone got somewhere, we are more likely to see the achievement as hard won and our own chances as more plausible”.

In my experience, learning can be a tremendous source of fulfilment and joy. But to experience this takes valuing the process over the end result and not comparing yourself to others.

The paradox is that when you immerse yourself in the process, you will most likely get a better result and experience far more rewards along the way.

At the age of 11 I had one of those experiences. I entered my first ever public speaking competition.

I remember arriving at the competition feeling incredibly nervous. And it wasn’t just because I had to deliver a speech on birds. There I was in my public school uniform (tracksuit pants, a faded t-shirt and dirty sneakers) standing next to contestants from private schools who were all wearing ties, white collared shirts, formal pants and black lace up shoes.

When it came time to deliver my speech, I accidently dropped my palm cards on the floor and nervously raced through the content I could remember. My performance wasn’t great and it was no surprise that I wasn’t selected to continue onto the next round.

As my dad drove me home from the event, I remember feeling disappointed with myself. I vowed that I would enter the competition again and do much better the following year.

In 1996, I re-entered the competition with a speech on the Barbie doll. By this stage, I felt a lot more confident in myself as a speaker and not only did I make it through rounds 1 and 2 (the preliminary final) but I ended up winning the State final.

How on earth did I go from being kicked out in round 1 the first year to winning the entire competition the next year?

The simple answer is – it took a lot of hard work and coaching from others.

You can’t do it on your own – It’s a team effort

A cleverly crafted speech is like a work of art and I don’t think many people realise the amount of work that is required to create an engaging presentation. As brilliant as you may be at the age of 11 or 12, everyone needs help and feedback when it comes to writing a speech. My mum and dad, my school teacher, a university student on her teaching prac and my speech/drama teacher all helped me to write my speech.

Today for the first time in 15 years, I read over my speech (it was called “Figure of the 90′s” on the negative influence that the Barbie doll has on young girls) and I have to say, it’s not a bad speech!

And before I get a massive ego thinking “How clever was I!” I have to remind myself that I didn’t do it on my own. I had a team working with me.

Key point: Crafting a speech or any piece of engaging writing isn’t easy. It takes hard work and feedback from others. Don’t think you need to do it all on your own.

Learn by doing – Practice makes perfect

A few weeks after I was first kicked out of the competition, my mum found me a speech and drama teacher who I started having private lessons with every week. In these classes I learnt how to pronounce words correctly, vary my voice, control my hand gestures, warm up my vocal cords, etc. I also started doing group drama classes at the Helen O’Grady Drama Academy.

My school teacher, Mrs Prasser, also noticed that I was keen to improve, so she would get me to speak in front of different audiences at school. Sometimes it was just reading from a book in front of the class, other times it was delivering a speech to the entire school and being the MC for a school concert.

For my second and last chance at the competition, I remember practicing my speech on Barbie almost religiously every day. I could spend up to an hour just perfecting a single phrase. For example, I had to the say the line “Hasta la vista baby” in my talk, so I got my dad to hire a copy of the movie Terminator 2. I played Arnie’s famous phrase over and over, repeating it after him for well over an hour. I was determined to sound as authentic as possible!

Key point: Practice, practice and practice some more. Don’t be afraid to try new things and step out of your comfort zone.

It’s not over until it’s over – Keep up your standards

I never expected to make it to the final of “Speak Up Award”. Having made it to round 2 was enough for me. In my mind, whatever happened from this point on was a bonus.

Interestingly, a couple of weeks before the grand final I started to feel really bored with my talk (by this stage I had delivered it hundreds of times). I just wanted to the finals to be over! I remember running into my school teacher, Mrs Prasser, at the local shopping centre during the school holidays. She said to me –

“Don’t drop your standards now. It’s not over yet! You keep practising that talk Miss Jane”.

I continued to practice but it was with a sense of burden…I was just going with the motions.

It wasn’t until my dad sat me down a few nights before the grand final and said “Jane, I think you can win this” that something shifted for me. I thought “Maybe dad is right?” I started practising with a new focus and energy. I was determined to get rid of my last palm card so I could fully connect with the audience.

Key point: Don’t slack off. Give it everything you’ve got right until the very end.

Presentation Matters – Look and feel your best

I knew if I wanted to be taken seriously in the finals, I had to look my best. I had to say goodbye to my comfy tracksuit pants and jogging shoes and look like the other private school contestants – well groomed and professional. My primary school realised this too and subsequently lent me a tie, a white blouse and a special pleated skirt.

The night before the contest, I remember pulling out a pair of black shoes and polishing them with every bit of energy I had. My mum’s reaction to this was -

“What are you doing? Why are you polishing your shoes? Who is going to care what your shoes look like?”

But I knew that every bit of my performance, not just the content of my speech, but the way I carried and presented myself was going to make a difference.

Key point: Focus your energy on the areas that are important. Every little bit counts.

Many years later after I had won the competition, my mum said to me -

“I was skeptical at first but I now understand why you polished your shoes that night”.

She reminded me of my intense focus as a child and the fact that my focus wasn’t on winning either. I was 100% focused on the talk. Not the cash prize or what the audience would think. I was only focused on delivering a great speech. And if I did that, I figured it didn’t matter if I won because I had still played the game like a champion speaker.

I think this is the best way to play the game of life – not being narrowly focused on “winning” or being the best (e.g. having lots of money or stuff) but to throw yourself into whatever activity you’re doing. And if you give it your all, if you play the game like a champion from start to finish, it shouldn’t matter if you win or lose. Why? Because you’ll have a sense of intrinsic satisfaction and joy which no one can take away from you.

Can you think of a time when you felt fully immersed in an activity and you weren’t concerned about the end result? What was it? How did you feel? Post your comments and thoughts below.

People usually persist with bad habits because they get some personal satisfaction or reward from engaging in the behaviour.

Let’s face it, bad habits are hard to break. Forming new, healthier habits can be even harder.

According to Dr Nora Volkow the human brain is hard wired to give greater value to an immediate reward as opposed to something that is delayed.

You have a choice: Eat the chocolate now or have a carrot instead?

For most of us, simply knowing that eating the carrot is going to eventually result in weight loss and feeling healthier usually won’t be enough to sway us. What we want is the immediate reward of sugary, delicious chocolate.

And the reason for this can be found in the neurotransmitter dopamine. Dopamine is linked to pleasurable experiences and our perception of positive experiences. So every time you eat a piece of chocolate or a delicious slice of pizza this pleasure sensing chemical is released in the brain.

This dopamine hit acts like a reward to us and reinforces the activity and neural connection in the brain. It is for this reason that we often engage in behaviours in an automatic way without much conscious thought or effort.

The good news is that every day people are successful in changing their behaviour, whether it be foregoing a packet of cigarettes, running on the treadmill or cutting back on junk food. Change is possible.

But how can you effectively break a bad habit? Here are some suggestions from the experts.

Make the behaviour impossible

Researcher Wander Jager believes that the best way to change a habit is to make it impossible. She states “..closing the shopping centre of a town for car traffic can break the habit of shopping by car, and changing the menu of a canteen may break the unhealthy lunching habit”.

I saw this technique used on a group of people suffering from type 1 and 2 diabetes in the documentary, “Simply Raw”. Six individuals were selected to undergo an experiment to see if they could be off their medication and insulin by cutting out fast food and adopting a completely raw food diet over the period of 30 days. To achieve this, they were sent to a retreat in the middle of the Arizona desert (far away from shops and fast food outlets) and served only raw vegan foods.

The thing about this strategy is it doesn’t always work and can sometimes backfire. In the documentary it was interesting to observe one participant became strongly resistant and rebelled against the approach by hitchhiking across the Mexican border to get alcohol and buy Mexican food.

Change and control your environment

The next best and probably the most practical thing you can do to break a bad habit is to change your environment so that the bad habit is less likely to be automatically performed.

The question to ask is – What is it in my environment that is triggering the behaviour (i.e. bad habit)?

For example, if you’re trying to lose weight it doesn’t make sense to have chocolates in your home or office at work.

You see, humans have a certain amount of will power that they have to expend throughout the day. In our low moments, particularly when we are tired and/or stressed or it is later in the day, our ability to regulate our behaviour and emotions significantly decreases.

And it’s in those moments when our will power reserves are running low or on empty that we are most likely to give into the temptation and reach for a chocolate. Therefore, you want to eliminate anything in your environment that will set you back.

Have your environment work for you by creating healthy habit back up plans. For instance, if you’re trying to eat healthier foods, have some chopped up vegetables and freshly washed fruit on standby for those low moments when a junk food craving hits.

Establish a regular routine

This involves getting clear on what it is that you want to do and then doing it over and over and over at a set time or place. Easier said than done, right?

Well, yes and no.

Peter Gollwitzer is an expert on how to make actions automatic and a regular part of one’s routine. His research shows that to make a particular behaviour automatic you must start by selecting the desired behaviour that you want to adopt (e.g. eating more vegetables and doing more physical exercise) and then link this behaviour to a specific situation such as a particular time, place or feeling.

He states –

“The mental act of linking a specific situation to an intended behaviour in the form of an if-then plan leads to automatic action initiation…[the action] does not require conscious intent once the critical situation is encountered”.

So let’s say your desired behaviour is to eat more vegetables. This behaviour could be linked to one of several things – particular meal times (e.g. dinner and morning tea), when at a restaurant browsing over the menu or if a hunger pang hits.

An example of an if-then plan could be as follows – “If it is morning tea, then I will eat a carrot”.

I know, it sounds incredibly simple and straightforward, but the act of committing to this takes the need for any conscious thought and effort out of the equation. The behaviour does indeed become automatic.

Final Thoughts

Bad habits can be hard to break, but there are clear and effective strategies to help you adopt healthier behaviours. By making the habit impossible to engage in, changing your environment and establishing a regular routine through ‘if-then’ plans, it is possible to rewire your brain for the better.

Have you succesfully broken a bad habit? If so, what was it and how did you do it?

A measly 53%.

Why is this the case?

Professor of Psychology at New York University, Dr Peter Gollwitzer, believes that there are a number of things that derail us from achieving our goals.

We may find ourselves being distracted by Facebook and email, overwhelmed with negative thoughts or perhaps we just can’t seem to get started (i.e. we procrastinate).

So what’s missing from goal setting? IMPI is missing.

IMPI is short for implementation intentions.

Most people either gawk or their eyes glaze over when I say the term “implementation intention”. I know, it sounds awfully academic and a bit scary. So for the sake of this blog post, I’ll just refer to this strategy as “IMPI” (plural: IMPIs)

What is an IMPI?

IMPIs are different from goals in that they specify the when, where and how of a goal. They are particularly good to use for achieving unpleasant goals and goals that are easy to forget.

Here’s how they work –

Whilst a goal typically take the form of “I will do X”, an IMPI takes the form of an “If-then” plan (“If situation Y arises, then I will do X”).

For example, if I have the following goal of “I will not eat sugar”, then I could set an IMPI of “If I am offered some sugary food, then I will firmly say no thank you”.

Basically, IMPIs are just pre-decisions that make the desired behaviour (e.g. not eating sugar) automatic when a particular situation arises. They stops you from having to expend mental energy thinking “Do I have the donut or not? Looks kind of tasty but I really shouldn’t….”

Dr Gollwitzer states –

“The idea is that people do not have to deliberate anymore about when and how they should act when they have formed an implementation intention [i.e. IMPI]”

Research indicates that IMPIs can help us act quickly, deal effectively with cognitive demands and significantly increase the likelihood of taking action on goals.

In one experiment, students were asked to write a report during their holidays about how they spent their Christmas. The students who set an IMPI to complete this task (i.e. they specified when, where and how they would get started on the report) were 3 times more likely to write the report than students who just set a goal (e.g. “I will write the report over the holidays”).

Other studies have shown that IMPIs are effective for helping people to lose weight, manage their time, recycle, perform better on academic tasks and deal with negative self talk.

For too long teachers and self help gurus have been telling us the power of setting goals whilst overlooking the obvious – that most of us have trouble just getting started and taking action towards our goals.

IMPIs are a simple and effective way to help you get in action without much thought and effort being required.

One thing I really want to stress is that impis are more than just deciding on a time and day when you’re going to perform a certain behaviour. Studies have actually found that the particular “If-then” format of the sentence is critical to the effectiveness of the IMPI strategy.

If you’re still having trouble getting your head around the IMPI strategy, here are some examples:

I challenge you to choose a behaviour you want to change or perhaps a new years resolutions that you have given up on and to set an IMPI (“If-then” plan) to help you accomplish it.

‘SMART’ represents a set criteria to help you evaluate your goals. Goal setters are asked to consider ‘Is your goal specific? Measurable? Attainable? Realistic? and timely (has a deadline)?

S = Specific
M = Measurable
A = Attainable
R = Realistic
T = Timely

Personal development gurus and teachers tell us time and time again “Goals should be SMART”. I can appreciate this advice, especially after recently stumbling upon a list of goals I had set for myself several years ago. I couldn’t help but cringe at how vague these goals were (e.g. “Enjoy life more” and “Save money more effectively”). It was of no surprise to discover that I hadn’t achieved half the things on my list of goals.

But quite frankly the SMART criteria just doesn’t do it for me anymore.

I have got to the stage where I find this formula for success (or at least the way it is phrased and presented) uninspiring.

The SMART criteria fails to excite my imagination and leaves me feeling like goal setting is nothing but a boring chore similar to scrubbing the floor or filling out an application form.

At the heart of it, goal setting is about your dreams. It’s about going for something that would really change your life if you achieved it. It’s about breathing life into areas that have gone dead/stale or you may have given up on.

David Rock in his book ‘Personal Best’ writes about how to set goals worth going for. Rock goes beyond the stock standard SMART criteria and discusses some other nifty strategies to help beef up your goals.

1. Don’t be conceptual, work towards a project with a real conclusion

Back in 2007, I set this goal for myself “Be more creative/create contemporary art”. Nice idea, but do you think I did this? No. Besides totally abandoning and failing to meet the SMART criteria, this goal had no real end point. What was lacking was an exciting project to work towards.

David Rock suggest that a better goal to set would be “Have an exhibition” (even if it’s just with friends and family). If you want to get fitter, instead of a goal of “Get fitter” you could set “Salsa dance for one hour non stop”.

2. Go for goals that extend you but are still achievable

David Rock encourages us to extend ourselves and to be open to being challenged and learning new skills. He believes the best goals are the ones you may not know how to achieve but you have this feeling that no matter what you’ll be able to work it out if you apply yourself.

I have always felt restricted by the ‘Achievable’ criteria when it comes to the A in the SMART goal setting criteria. I used to think to myself when evaluating my goals “I think this is achievable but what if I’m being overly ambitious? What if I can’t actually do this?”. There was always this feeling of holding back and not fully going for something if there was even the smallest doubt I wouldn’t be able to achieve it.

Alternatively, there were times when I set totally outrageous goals such as “Be earning $100,000 a year” (in my final year of university), only to later look back on that goal and think “What on earth was I thinking?”

In relation to setting achievable goals David Rock states –

“Sometimes you might start out with a goal that you think is achievable, then a few weeks into it you realise it isn’t, it’s okay to change your goals at that time….there’s nothing wrong with giving something all you’ve got, then discovering you need to change course mid-stream”.

I find this idea helps to take the pressure off setting goals perfectly. There really is no reason to hold yourself back when you know you can stop, re-assess and change your goals at any point in time.

3. Keep your goals short and snappy

Since you want to be taking action towards your goals every day, you want to be thinking of your goals and saying them to yourself on a daily basis. In order to do this, David Rock tells us to keep them “short and snappy”. He also mentions that “the best goals are around five words, not long statements”. Instead of “Pay off my HECS debt and car loan” a snappier goal could be “To be debt free” or “To love my bank statements” as Rock suggests.

4. Give your goal a visual element

Many of us respond well to visual images, so we should try to capture each of our goals in striking visual images that moves us. For example, ‘Wear a bikini to the beach’ is much more powerful than ‘Lose 10 kilograms’.

If you respond well to other senses (e.g. smell and taste) try to tap into those. Rock gives the examples of “live where I can smell the ocean” and “hear my song played on the radio”

5. Give your goals a 90 day (3 month) deadline

You won’t be able to achieve all of your goals in a 90 day period, but significant action can certainly be taken to bring you closer towards achieving your bigger goals. David Rock states -

“I have found that 90 days is enough time to really make an impact on people’s lives, but short enough to maintain motivation and excitement”

On your wall calendars and in your diary, schedule in a 90 day countdown for your goals.

6. Take your time creating your goals

We live in a world that is obsessed by speed (fast food, faster computers and internet connection, etc). Perhaps this explains why many of us get easily frustrated when we fail to come up with goals in a few minutes that inspire us. We want instant inspiration.

The fact of the matter is that setting great goals worth going for takes time. You may need to write your goal down, put it aside and then come back to it a few days later.

I recently stumbled across a great goal setting website called 43 things.

It allows you to list your goals, share your progress and encourage others to do the same.

Better still, people who have achieved the same goal that you are currently after can tell you how they did it and what made a difference to them!

When I’m on 43 things, it’s like I’m on facebook. The only difference is I’m not wasting time looking at random photos and thinking about what to update my status to. Instead, I’m setting goals and getting inspired about my life (which is a way more productive use of my time if you ask me).

The basic idea behind the website is simple: if you write your goals down in a list, then you’re half way there to achieving them.

Sounds too simple? Too good to be true? Well, maybe that’s a little oversimplified but I love the basic idea behind the site.

My only gripe is often we set goals for ourselves and then feel completely overwhelmed by them. The website doesn’t really appear to go into detail about how to maximise your chances of actually achieving the goals written on your list.

‘How will I get from here (where I am now – thesis not finished) to over there (where I want to be – thesis finished)? It seems all too hard!’ is what goes through my mind nearly every day.

But then a hungry jacks whopper will flash before my eyes.

No, I’m not binging on hungry jacks. The whopper is symbolic.

Years ago (when I was feeling overwhelmed by a big project) a friend sat me down and said:

Friend: ‘Jane, how would you normally eat a burger?’
Me: ‘I guess I’d press down the top first…’
Friend: ‘Yeah and what else would you do?’
Me: ‘I’d take a bite…’
Friend: ‘And then what?’
Me: ‘umm…if it tasted good, I’d take another bite’
Friend: ‘You wouldn’t put the whole thing in your mouth at once would you?’
Me: ‘No, that would be stupid…I’d feel sick and bloated..’

My friend went on to tell me that the burger represents my long term goal (the project I am working on) and the bites out of the burger are my short term goals. It’s only through taking one bite at a time that I’d be able to eat the whole burger. The thing is all those little bites add up.

That image of the burger has stayed with me ever since. I now know that if I want to achieve a goal, I need to break it down into all the little action steps. A mind map usually does the trick.

Then of course, I need to take action.

But where do I start?

David Allen in his book ‘How to get things done’ recommends we ask ourselves ‘What’s the next action I can take to move me forward on this project?’

So in a nutshell: Write it down, break it down, ask yourself ‘What’s next?’ and then do it.

They say the Colonel was 65 years old when he received his first pension cheque in the mail. He took one look at it, saw that it was for $105 and felt angry. He had to come up with a way of earning some extra money. Over the years he had been perfecting a chicken recipe that friends and family couldn’t resist. He thought ‘I can work with this!’ He got in his old car, started to drive around America and approached different restaurant owners about his chicken recipe. Colonel Sander’s idea was that he would sell his chicken to the restaurant owners and receive a percentage of the profits. You can imagine that these owners took one look at the old man and told him ‘no thanks’.

Did this stop the Colonel? No, he kept driving around America approaching restaurant owners for 2 years! After 1009 rejections the Colonel finally heard his first ‘yes’. Someone had finally agreed to take his chicken on board.

This story makes me think about how many of us (particularly myself) can be in life in the face of setbacks. One, two or three ‘no’ responses and everything suddenly starts to seem all too hard. ‘Do I have what it takes?’, ‘Is this a stupid idea?’ and ‘Maybe I should try something else?’ are some of the thoughts that race through my mind.

So, how can we harvest some of the Colonel Sanders spirit within us? How can we remain strong in the face of setbacks and the word ‘no’?

Here are some suggestions:

1. Don’t make it mean anything: Often when someone says no to us or something doesn’t go our way, we take it personally and make it mean something. We create stories and reasons for why certain things happened the way they did. ‘I did poorly on that test because I’m stupid’ or ‘They said no because they don’t like me’. These stories that we create about why things have occurred often aren’t the truth, don’t serve us and can be unhelpful. Acknowledge the story that you have created and don’t let it distract you from your original intention or goal.

2. Focus on the positive: A school teacher once said to me ‘If you’re not making mistakes, then you’re probably not learning much’. Let’s face it, if you never attempt anything then you’ll never make a mistake, but you’ll probably never attain your goals! Making mistakes along the way and experiencing setbacks is all part of the process of attaining your goals. Setbacks provide us with feedback, opportunities to reassess things and readjust our behaviours. They also allow us to grow.

3. Have patience: I created a presentation really close to my heart earlier this year (Global warming: Too hot to handle?) and set a goal of presenting it to over 1000 students by the end of the year. I poured my heart and soul into creating it and expected dozens of teachers to invite me to their schools. The opposite happened. I ended up speaking to a science teacher who was a climate change skeptic and I was left feeling disheartened, naive and nearly gave up on my vision of educating and inspiring young people to take action. Luckily, friends and family encouraged me to be patient and stick with it, and it wasn’t long before I was delivering my talk to hundreds of students in high schools.

Even though I will probably never eat the Colonel’s chicken, I have to admit that I admire the man for his courage and determination. His story sends an important message to us all – never, ever give up on your dreams.