My high school chemistry teacher once said to me with a serious look on his face ‘Miss Genovese, if you’re not careful you’ll have a stress induced heart attack’. I was 16 at the time and thought relaxation was for lazy people who spent their lives meditating in caves in far away places.

As a teenager feeling stressed out was the norm for me, which was a problem. On several occasions my mind would go blank in test situations and as a result, I ended up failing those tests.

It wasn’t until I started studying Psychology at university that I realised that I could actually do something about my high stress levels. Below are 3 simple ways that have helped me to relax over the years.

1. Breathe

Often when we feel stressed or nervous (e.g. giving a presentation before the class or taking a test) our breathing becomes faster and shallower. We often notice ourselves breathing fast and may think ‘woah, I’m so nervous!’ and this may cause us to stress us out even more! One way we can change this is to consciously make an effort to slow down our breathing. I usually spend 2-3 minutes focusing on breathing deeply in and out for 6 seconds to start with and then for 3 seconds. This exercise will help you to feel more in control of your body and can slow down and clarify your thoughts. Students have even told me that doing this breathing exercise before important sports games makes a difference to their performance.

2. Laugh

Try to laugh and feel stressed at the same time. Can you do it? I bet $100 that you can’t. There is so much truth to the saying ‘Laughter is the best medicine’. 10 years ago Dr Kataria (inventor of laughter yoga) noticed that his patients who laughed more regularly appeared to have better immune systems, heal faster and appeared to be calmer than patients who did not laugh as much. The reason for this is that laughter releases endorphins, which is a chemical that gives you a natural high. So if you’re feeling stressed out, catch up with a friend who makes you laugh or watch a comedy show. If you can’t do that, force yourself to laugh. Say out loud ‘HA HA HA HA HA’ (I don’t recommend you do this in public) because the brain doesn’t know the difference between a fake laugh and a real one. In a nutshell, you can trick your brain into releasing those feel good, happy chemicals (endorphins).

3. Exercise

When I walked into my university gym six years ago there was a sign on the wall that said “The question is not - can I afford to do this? The question is - can I afford not to do this?” Studying law for me was not easy and going to the gym after every lecture was the main reason I stuck with the degree. As an 18 year old attending lectures on contract and criminal law I felt like the lecturers were speaking a foreign language. I did not understand the legal jargon that was being used and this was upsetting for me. After every lecture I would be telling myself “I can’t do it. It’s just too hard. Perhaps I’m not cut out for this” and somehow in my helpless state, I’d get myself to the gym. After a one hour session of cardio and strength training I was a different person. I felt clearer, less stressed and just knew I had to break things down, use my legal dictionary more often and take things one step at a time.

So there you go, 3 simple strategies to help you stress less. What works for me, may or may not work for you. You won’t know unless you give them a good shot (test them out for 30 days). If you know of any ways that help you to relax and decrease your stress levels I’d love to hear about them.

At the beginning of every school year, I would tell myself “This year is going to be different. Assignments in on time, great marks, participating in lots of activities and to top it off, I’m going to be more organised” I’d feel motivated with a positive outlook, but it wasn’t long before the work started to pile up, the average marks started rolling in and I’d think “I’m tired of this. I just want to get through and pass all my subjects”. I decided that I wasn’t one of “those” people – the motivated, smart ones.

My high school year coordinator hired motivational speakers to come in and tell us how we could fulfill all our dreams, overcome obstacles, see the cup as half full rather than half empty, etc. But there was a problem with this. The problem was –

1. I didn’t believe and/or couldn’t relate to what the motivational speakers were saying;
2. I’d feel less motivated after the talk than before; or
3. The motivation would only last for a day or two before it was gone.

I finished high school and went on to spend thousands of dollars listening to motivational speakers and studied 6 years of psychology at university. From these experiences, I’ve come to the following realisation -

You don’t need to be motivated to achieve success and experience pleasure from your studies and in life. In fact, you and I may never be super motivated like Tony Robbins and that’s ok. Knowing this, we should go and do the things we want to do, whether we feel motivated or not.

There is a myth that you need to change your mood before you can change your behaviour. Behavioural Psychology has dispelled this idea time and time again by showing us that if we simply become more active in our lives, then we will feel better and think more positively. Basically, you can become more motivated by taking action and engaging in new, positive experiences.

Exercise has helped me to stay positive about studying and life. One study found that when a group of people suffering from mild to moderate depression exercised (i.e. strength training, running or walking) for at least 20 to 60 minutes 3 times a week, they were significantly less depressed 5 weeks later. The benefits were maintained for these participants as long as they kept on exercising. If people diagnosed with depression can experience such amazing results from becoming active, imagine what is possible for people who don’t suffer from depression?

But the question arises ‘what if you’re so unmotivated that you can’t even get to the gym or start an assignment?’

Here are some strategies that have been suggested to help you overcome these problems–

1. Don’t eat the elephant all at once: How would you eat an elephant (if you had to)? One bite at a time. Starting a new behaviour is a difficult task and your success will be maximised if you’re able to break down the task into manageable components

2. Understand the benefits: The positive benefits of participating in the activity (e.g. exercising or completing an assignment) must be fully considered. Often people aren’t motivated because they’re uninformed. Psychologists often ask unmotivated clients to identify all the benefits of engaging in a certain behaviour. If the client’s list of benefits starts to reveal many reasons, then it is likely that they will be more motivated to take action.

3. Treat it like an experiment: Put aside your judgements about the activity and try as an experiment engaging in the activity regardless of the way you feel.

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